And Yet ANOTHER Self Insert Fic
by Enigmatic Magus
Summary: I find myself in an Alternate Ranma Universe... and things just get weirder from there on out... chapter 1 updated slightly for grammatical errors.
1. Chapter 1

And Yet ANOTHER Self Insert Fic  
  
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma ½.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I wasn't quite sure what had happened. One minute I was sitting there at my computer, watching a virus scan run and knowing it wouldn't turn anything up, the next I was standing on the side of a road, wearing shoes (I'd been barefoot before) and feeling generally confused.  
  
"The hell...?"  
  
For the most part, my life hadn't had many 'WTF'-inducing moments; hence my rather scientific approach to things like religion and superstition. But this...  
  
Looking around with a bit more scrutiny, I spotted a few signs in English, though what they said made little sense. Worse, however, was the abundance of symbols, which I generically labeled "asian," many of which adorned the flat surfaces upon which people either advertised or informed pedestrians.  
  
Pulling back the sleeve of a shirt I'd not been wearing a moment earlier, I checked my watch, belatedly reminding myself that, like the shirt, the watch had also been absent scant moments before.  
  
"Ten thirty... At night, obviously..." Of course, I mused silently, if I was in a primarily Asian-speaking country, as the signs seemed to indicate, my watch might be off by a good 12 or so hours. Sighing, I reached in my pocket, the feeling of my wallet familiar, despite its recent position beside the keyboard, alongside my watch and...  
  
Sure enough, my keys occupied the left locket, though I didn't feel the fuel-less Zippo or Remote-fog light-activation clicker I usually carried around when I went out. Glancing down, I sighed, realizing I wasn't wearing my cell phone either. Despite its current lack of minutes (a pre-paid phone's biggest downfall) I could have still used it in an emergency.  
  
Still, I was standing, I could feel all my limbs (all of which seemed to be in relative working order) and a quick check reassured me that I'd not been the victim of some urban legend, all my organs still nestled behind an unpunctured layer of skin, muscle and bone.  
  
A couple walked by, then, their hushed tones making eavesdropping impossible, though what few words I could hear weren't entirely sensible, either. In the sterile amber glow of the streetlamp, I could make out their (surprise) Asian features. Sighing at how out-of-place a six foot two Spaniard would look in any of the places I imagined myself, I leaned against a wall and thought quickly.  
  
'Where the hell am I, and how did I get here? My legs aren't too sore, so I haven't been walking long, I'm dressed in my typical casual clothes, where before I was dressed in lazy inside-attire...'  
  
Glancing once again at the street, I reached into my pocket and pulled my wallet out, hoping all my money was still in it. My Tax Refund had come last week, and, while I'd probably have blown it on food (and maybe a bill or two if any remained after a much-needed trip to the mall) now, the $400 meant my trip home, or at least, the first leg on the trip.  
  
First, however, I was going to get food. I doubted I'd find a bank that could convert dollars into... whatever the local currency was, but hopefully I could find a restaurant willing to take a couple bills. Ignoring the fact that my eyes couldn't make heads or tails of the signs posted outside, I began walking down the street, hoping I'd discover a place to eat via my sense of smell or hearing.  
  
A moment later, I doubled back, an interesting and undeniably edible odor emanating from a well-lit little building near where I'd first found myself. Glancing at the sign before wincing at the reminder that I was, for all intents and purposes, illiterate here, I slid the door open, after taking a moment to figure out why it didn't have a handle or hinges.  
  
"Uigbioabwpiubapsibpiubvapsubdfpiu!"  
  
"..." I blinked. The kid behind the counter had shouted something unintelligible at me, and I felt myself blushing slightly as I realized they probably didn't speak English. I knew I could, if the situation demanded it, pantomime to help get my situation across to people, but with other customers around, I didn't feel like acting like an utter fool in front of everyone.  
  
When someone else walked in, and the cook said something similar (I hoped), the customer took a seat at the counter, and I followed silently, sitting a few spaces away. When they turned around, I sat up as I realized that the kid wasn't as young as I'd though, just short. He gave me a quick confused glance, before turning to the other patron and starting a short conversation.  
  
Having worked in restaurants for most of my adult life, I didn't bother making a scene, just sitting back, and hoping the cook would get to me in due time. Eventually, he turned away from the customer, poured some sort of batter on the grill behind the counter, and then turned to me.  
  
"Alkshdioubefoub..."  
  
"Ahh..." I replied intelligently. Holding up my finger to indicate they give me a moment, the cook nodded and turned back to the grill while I dug out my wallet and removed two five-dollar bills. When the cook glanced my way again, I held them up and quirked a brow, hoping she could extrapolate the question from the gesture.  
  
"Iiyayasfakshfliyinalkasfh."  
  
I blinked.  
  
"Yen." he said slowly, frowning at me. Wincing at the frown, and feeling my blush return, I shook my head slowly and stood to go. At least I knew where I was, now. Japan. Land of the Rising Sun. Just my luck, to find myself in a country of which I had just enough information to let me know just how little I knew.  
  
Behind me I heard a sigh, and the cook muttered something before saying something louder I assumed was at me. Frowning in thought, I dredged up all the anime episodes, impromptu Japanese lessons, and any other random exposures to Japanese I had to form an understandable reply.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
The cook blinked in reply, then began talking again, prompting me to hold up my hands in surrender. He trailed off, frowning, and I cringed again, taking a step back and muttering a weary "Gomen nasai."  
  
Wincing slightly, the cook spoke slowly, "Matte... Stopu. Stop..."  
  
I froze, and then turned, "You... you can speak English?"  
  
The cook frowned and I waited as he went through the same vocabulary drills I had. Finally, "Yes... Not-good is. I sorry."  
  
"No need to be sorry. I'm the foreigner here," I muttered. The cook frowned at me, and I smiled, pointing to myself, "Gaijin." the cook snorted once, before holding up his finger for me to wait and turning back to the grill.  
  
Standing there unsure of what, exactly, I was to do next, I made my way back to the stool I'd vacated and sat down, looking around the place in hopes of seeing something in English. Instead, I almost stumbled out of my chair when I realized something my subconscious had probably been screaming ever since I'd entered.  
  
Single, blue-clad person cooking pizza-like thingies on a grill in a smallish restaurant with a red sign somewhere in Japan? I wasn't sure I was in Tokyo, but everything else was there, and, well, 'if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and acts like a duck, it's probably a really bored Mousse...'  
  
"Ukyo... err... Kuonji Ukyo?"  
  
"Hai?" the cook, Ukyo, said, glancing at me with a slight frown. I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head and hoping I'd open them to see the computer monitors glowing back at me. Instead, I saw her frown at me a little more, and saying something that I couldn't quite catch.  
  
"Umm... what?" I said, sheepishly. She opened her mouth then shut it again, closing her eyes in concentration for a moment before speaking.  
  
"How you be?"  
  
"Fine, fine. Sorry. Just surprised, that's all. I mean, if I'm here, then, well... how? And.." I shut up as I realized I was about to start babbling (already had, actually), and glanced at a clock on the wall. 8:47. Apparently, I needed to reset my watch for the local time.  
  
"Oh my god..." I said, realizing that, aside from the local time, I also had to figure out the date... Damn. If I'd had my cell phone, I could sell that 'back' to Nokia for quite a hefty sum. Glancing around, I couldn't exactly tell if anything was of late 80's/early 90's manufacture, but Ranma didn't take place in 2004, or even 2000, so any new-millennial technology would be worth quite a bit to the right R&D people.  
  
Ukyo, during my inner-monologue, had apparently moved off to let me think, and was currently cashing out a couple at a table alongside the wall. When she finished, she looked back at me and muttered something, before donning a fake smile and holding out her hand.  
  
"Ore wa Kuonji Ukyo desu. Nani desu ka?"  
  
I blinked. I had actually understood most of that. Taking her outstretched hand, I spoke, "Watashi wa Kyle desu," I smiled a little more before adding, "Genki desu ka?"  
  
Ukyo started laughing, her false smile replaced by one of genuine mirth, and after a moment she spoke again, "Ore. Ore wa."  
  
"Ohhh...." I said, not quite understanding why. Ukyo however, understood my monosyllabic response, and sighed. Trying again, she held her hand to her chest, cupping 'imaginary' breasts, and said "Watashi" in her real feminine voice, before dropping her arms (and her voice) and saying "Ore."  
  
The patron at the bar chuckled and I nodded in understanding. Ukyo nodded back, then handed me a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Actually, I knew it was Japanese, but Hiragana, Katakana, or Kanji, I couldn't make heads or tails of it, and so resigned myself to staring helplessly.  
  
Then, inspiration struck me. Grabbing a napkin, I pointed to a grease pencil she had sitting behind the counter, and she handed it to me hesitantly. I quickly drew a shrimp and little pig, before handing the napkin to her. She laughed once, before nodding and pouring some more batter on the grill.  
  
A few minutes later, a steaming plate of "Okonomiyaki" sat before me, Ukyo's only other patron now finishing off his. I glanced around for a moment, trying to find some sort of silverware, but all I could see behind the counter was a cup full of paper-sheathed wooden chopsticks.  
  
Glancing surreptitiously at the customer beside me, I watched as he used a pair of chopsticks to bring the remnants of his meal up to his lowered mouth before removing a bite, and I blinked, realizing that etiquette here was totally different than the etiquette in Florida.  
  
Discreetly tearing the Okonomiyaki into fourths and wiping my fingers clean in the shrimp-and-pig decorated napkin, I picked up the triangular quarter and took a bite, much like I would a piece of pizza. Ukyo stared at me for a moment, then chuckled, quietly mumbling something around her grin. I smirked around the bite, before chewing quickly.  
  
Ukyo said something that I didn't quite catch, and I quirked a brow at her, wishing I was certain whether "wakarimasen" meant "I understand" or "I don't understand." The other customer, the only one in the restaurant besides the owner and me handed Ukyo a couple bills, before excusing himself with a few words I had no chance of understanding.  
  
"You... pay help?" she said, after a moment's hesitation. I opened my mouth to agree, reaching for the two fives I'd pulled out earlier, and then stopped. While I was certain the meal wasn't ten US dollars (though it tasted better than most 10 dollar meals I could get eating out) if she wanted a little help closing up or whatever, it was the least I could do.  
  
Besides, it was Ukyo Kuonji. My favorite fiancée, and, taking a moment to watch her while she was staring off into space, I realized that, unbound and cleaned up, she was just as cute "in real life." She started to frown, and I followed her gaze to the wall, where a bronze gong-like object hung, reflecting her perfe... oh...  
  
"Gomen." I said, staring down at my food and feeling a slight blush. I was thankful my complexion hid all but the most severe blushes, and after a moment, I heard Ukyo sigh and move towards the back.  
  
"Don't go," she said, before disappearing into the back. I shrugged and ate the final piece of Okonomiyaki, waiting for her to return. A few minutes later she did, and on a table near the door, she set a couple books, before coming over and taking my plate.  
  
"Err... wait..." I said, frowning. Thinking back, I tried something I'd heard her say earlier, "Matte." she stopped and turned to look at me, and I grinned, hopping off the stool and pointing at the plate in her hand.  
  
"Help?" I said, pantomiming washing dishes. She frowned at me, and then shrugged.  
  
"Okay," she replied, before continuing. After leading me to a big, deep sink, beside which sat many dirty plates, she took my plate and showed me how she apparently wanted me to clean them. Turning to me when she had finished, I nodded, and stood beside her, grabbing a dirty plate in my left hand, the sponge in my right, and got to scrubbing.  
  
What felt like hours later, but was really just 15 minutes, I placed the last plate on its rack, then stepped out from the kitchen to find Ukyo working over her grill, which had cooled off enough to be cleaned.  
  
"Uk... err... umm... hmm... Ku-Kuonji-san?" I said, quietly. Ukyo stopped wiping at her grill to laugh, and I waited for the outburst to stop patiently, glancing at the broom and mop she had sitting nearby.  
  
"Ukyo. Onegai... Please. Ukyo." She said, slowly. I nodded, and then pointed to the broom and mop. She looked at me, confusion evident, and I shrugged, pointing at my watch before pointing at the door and then shrugging dismissively again.  
  
"Iie... no plans?" she asked, trying to understand what I was trying to tell her.  
  
"Hai. No plans." I replied, grabbing the broom. She nodded, and then moved around me to put one of the chairs up on the table. I noticed that al the tables and chairs had been wiped clean already, and quickly made my way around flipping chairs, before starting to sweep methodically, from one side of the restaurant to the other.  
  
Looking around for a dustpan, I couldn't find one, so I called Ukyo and pointed to the small pile of dirt and quirked a brow at her. She pointed to the door, and I nodded, before sweeping the debris out the door.  
  
Grabbing the mop, I briefly wondered why she didn't have a towel you ran up and down the floor barefoot with, before squashing the thought. Wishing for a much harder task was pretty stupid, I mused, as I began cleaning the floor. A little while later, Ukyo took the mop with her out back, and I glanced at the clock, surprised it was only 10:30.  
  
"Okay... help now?" she asked, pointing at the books she'd placed in the booth. Making my way over to them (and hoping my tennis shoes weren't leaving marks on the freshly-mopped flooring) I sat across from her as she pushed a book towards me. Glancing down at it, I realized it was an English book.  
  
"Ohh... help with English. I gotcha." I said, flipping it open. Ukyo mumbled something, and I smiled as I turned to a random page and began reading.  
  
"Wow... this isn't exactly college-level, but I'm rather impressed... I was under the impression that English went up to about a 6th grade level."  
  
"Nani?" Ukyo asked, probably not catching much of what I said.  
  
"Nothing. Just thinking." I replied, flipping through a few more pages, before looking at her, "Where do you want to start?"  
  
She said something in Japanese, then opened the book to a marked page, and pointing to the five vowels, each one written out with the little symbols to explain how they're stressed.  
  
"Ohh..." I said, nodding slightly. I remember being surprised by the simplicity of the Japanese written language. At least, two thirds of it; the syllable-based 'alphabets.' Despite my upbringing, it made more sense than English's letter-based one.  
  
"Okay, I can see where this is probably a problem. You've never had to stress an 'a' like an 'o' or whatever."  
  
Ukyo pointed to the letter 'a' and said "Ahh."  
  
I nodded, and glanced around before I settled my gaze on my watch. Pointing to it, I took a pencil she'd brought with her, and on a piece of paper, wrote 'W-A-T-C-H' then pointed at the word, my watch, before saying "watch," slowly and clearly. She gave me an "Are you stupid" look before taking the pencil to point at the letter 'a' with two little dots over it.  
  
"Ahh" she said again. I nodded. Then she pointed to an 'a' with a little upside-down 'v' thingy over it, and said "Ahh?" though, this time I could hear the question in her voice.  
  
Glancing at the example listed, "ham," I pointed to it and made an "aah" sound. She looked at me, then the book, then tentatively tried, making more of an "ehh" sound. She frowned and pointed at me then the book, and I made the sound again. After a moment where she just stared at me, I did it again, and she nodded, closing her eyes and trying again.  
  
"Ahh... Aah?"  
  
"Right!" I said, smiling. She smiled back at me, and I glanced at the rest of the page, wincing as I saw the letters left to work with.  
  
When 11:30 rolled around, Ukyo glanced wearily at the clock, before sticking a paper we'd managed to cover in scribbles in the book and closing it with a slam that echoed within the restaurant. Jumping at the sudden sound, I looked at my watch, and then winced.  
  
"Gomen." I said, knowing she had school tomorrow. Or did she? Realizing I still wasn't sure what part of Ranma I'd managed to make an appearance in, I looked down at the books and sighed. Well, she was apparently going to school somewhere. Glancing at the books, and realizing I'd be illiterate for a while, I slid out of the booth, Ukyo mirroring my, though slightly more lethargically.  
  
"Arigato, Kyle-san." Ukyo said.  
  
"Iie. Kyle. Umm... you're welcome." I said, wishing my Japanese wasn't quite as spotty as it was. She smiled slightly, then frowned, reaching into her pocket for something. When she withdrew a few bills, I shook my head, pulling out my wallet and showing her the contents of my wallet, the two hundred-dollar-bills given special emphasis. Ukyo looked at me with little comprehension, and I grabbed a piece of paper.  
  
Writing out "100¥" (Ukyo chuckled as I took a moment to decide how many times the Y for yen got crossed through) I did a wavy equals-sign, then a "1$" then I pulled out a hundred and set it on the table, before drawing an arrow to it and writing "100$."  
  
Ukyo glanced at the bill, then at me, then nodded, tucking the bills back into her pocket. She didn't sigh, but I could see the relief in her eyes, so I smiled at her.  
  
"Help you tomorrow?" I asked.  
  
"Help... me? You help again?" she asked. I nodded, drawing a clock face displaying 8:30, and pointed at the door. Ukyo looked thoughtful for a moment, then frowned.  
  
"Pay?"  
  
"Iie yen. Okonomiyaki. Ukyo no genki..." I replied, hoping she understood my meaning. She frowned at me, and for a brief moment, her gaze got far off, and her frown melted into a look that was an even mix of pain and anger. When she blinked, the emotions left, as if they were never there, and she nodded once, before picking up her books and walking with me too the door.  
  
"Sayonara?" I said. Ukyo chuckled, before saying "Good nighto, Kyle."  
  
With the doorway closed tight behind me, I glanced around at the streets of Japan, and wondered where exactly I was going to sleep for the night. While I knew there were hotels in Tokyo that catered to tourists and would accept American dollars, I didn't for a minute think I had enough for more than maybe two nights.  
  
I'd have better luck renting an apartment, but without a job, I'd have a hell of a time getting one. Glancing at the corner, I spotted a newsstand, and on it, a newspaper rustled. Crossing the street quickly, I grabbed the paper, sighing as I saw that, while the articles were in Japanese, the date was in English.  
  
"Holy shit..." I said, staring at the date. August 13th, 1994. What the hell could I do with $400 in Japan in 1994? Inflation wouldn't be as high, so I might be able to buy myself more than I could ten years later, in 2004, but still... in 1994, I'd been in 6th grade. Computers were just beginning to get good, and Windows 95 was a year away.  
  
Glancing at the stars, I wondered if now was a good time to invest in Intel. With the Pentium classic chip just around the corner, the information superhighway about to be paved, and dot-com millionaires about to put their first paychecks into companies like Yahoo and , the electronics stock market was going to be a hell of a ride in the coming years.  
  
Making my way around town, I eventually found a small park, where I settled down on a vacant bench secluded by thick bushes. It wasn't as cramped as my car had been back in Denver, but it certainly was draftier.  
  
"Tomorrow, I seek out work. Or money."  
  
The next day, I was awakened by the sound of a bird chirping too damn merrily by my head. Wincing at the sunlight, I sat up, brushing off a couple leaves that had fallen on me as I slept. Glancing at my watch, I realized I'd gotten about 6 hours of sleep, and muttered curses about the Army and its long-standing conditioning.  
  
Stretching out a few kinks, I left the park in search of work. By 8:00, I'd converted some of my money into yen, found a room for rent in a house owned by a (deceased) US soldier's wife, and discovered the only real snag in any plans I'd developed.  
  
I couldn't get the room without a job. I couldn't get a job without identification. And I couldn't use my Florida Drivers license, because the issue date was still three years away. My only hope was to talk Ukyo into lying for me, and then finding a way to work illegally... or at least, until I got enough to buy proper identification.  
  
"Ah! Thank god." I muttered when I spotted the red curtain of Ukyo's little place. Frowning at the car parked outside, I pulled the door open, only to find myself looking at the backs of two business suits.  
  
Taking stock of the situation, I realized Ukyo was glaring at the two, who with their sunglasses, top hats, and gray outfits screamed "mob" were apparently waiting for her to pay. The two muttered something over their shoulder, and continued staring at Ukyo, who stared back. I turned to go, opening the door, before stopping, and closing it again. It wasn't right to leave Ukyo to this, and, while I figured this had happened before and everything had turned out okay, I was here now, and if I could somehow tip the odds in Ukyo's favor, then so be it.  
  
The two thugs, Yakuza, I mentally recalled, must have assumed I left when the door shut, because they began talking to Ukyo again, who didn't look at me, continuing to glare at them.  
  
One spoke a little louder, and finally Ukyo responded, her response making the two jerk back as if physically slapped. The one who had spoken first took a step towards Ukyo, who, I now realized, was holding her Battle spatula low. The other thug was reaching into his coat slowly, and I waited, letting Ukyo make the first move.  
  
The first thug, raised his hand as if to hit Ukyo, and Ukyo swung her spatula up, aping to broadside the guy's head. He jumped back out of the way, and the second thug began going for what I assumed was a gun in a shoulder holster. Tapping the second one on the shoulder, I grinned as he turned slowly, right before I gave him a face full of fist. I wasn't much of a martial artist, but at this range, and with the element of surprise (not to mention a foot of height, and a great angle) his lights went out for the night.  
  
The first thug heard his friend hit the floor and turned to look, glancing at me and opening his mouth, however, anything he wanted to say would have to wait, as Ukyo brought her spatula down upon his head with a dull clang. Thug one crumbled and Ukyo slung her spatula before prodding him with her toe none-too gently.  
  
Finally, she looked at me, and nodded once.  
  
"Arigato, Kyle-san."  
  
"No problem." I said softly, staring down at the two. Crouching down, I reached inside the jacket of the thug I'd decked, and pulled out an automatic, which I grinned at and pocketed.  
  
"Nani?" Ukyo asked, as I removed a spare magazine.  
  
"Finders keepers" I said, pulling out the guy's wallet. Pulling out the bills, I put the wallet back, and then moved over to the other guy. He didn't have a gun, but his wallet was fatter. After relieving him of his spending money, I turned to Ukyo, and frowned.  
  
"What now?"  
  
Surprisingly, she'd said the same thing at the same time. We shared a quick nervous laugh, a moment before the door opened, and a third suited thug came in, freezing when he saw me crouched over his friend. He reached back for his waistline, and I realized that he was probably going for a gun. Deciding not to go out like an idiot, I pushed Ukyo behind the counter, then dove, aiming for the guy, probably the driver of the car, in a low tackle.  
  
Time seemed to crawl as I saw the gun, another automatic of some kind come out, but by the time he'd had it free, I felt his knee in my shoulder, and suddenly, I heard a loud pop beside my head, and the guy screamed as he fell, his left leg bending in a way it was never designed to bend.  
  
BAM! the gun went off, and I prayed Ukyo had stayed down, and hoping adrenaline wasn't stopping me from feeling if I'd been shot or not. There was a wet THUD then, and the legs below me went limp, a clatter letting me know he'd dropped the gun.  
  
"Ukyo?" I said, pushing myself up into a kneeling position.  
  
"Hai?" she asked, looking somewhat pale.  
  
"Umm... shit. Are you okay... err... Daijobu, ka?" I tried, hoping that was right. Ukyo nodded, staring at the three thugs and wincing when she saw the way the leg I'd impacted was bent.  
  
Looking at the three I glanced at the clock, then the door, and then stood up.  
  
"Help me," I said, grabbing the guy nearest to the door and dragging him towards it. After opening the door with my foot, I dragged him to the car, Ukyo following with the one she'd brained, and I quickly set the two in their car, before taking all the money out of bent-knee's wallet, and spreading it as evenly among the three as I could. Ukyo watched me take the shoulder holster off the one I'd stolen the gun from, and then grinned as she realized what I planned.  
  
"Where hit?" she said, finally. I looked around, and realized nobody deserved having a yakuza car through the front wall without a damn good reason. Finally Ukyo glanced at me and said "Police?" I thought about it, and then nodded.  
  
The police station would need a new wall, but these three would be out of the loop for quite some time if we could pull it off right. It took a half hour to set up and wipe away all our fingerprints, but in the end, we set the car up to roll into the police building nearby as soon as I dropped the thug's foot on the gas. Leaning in the window to do that, the thug in the passenger seat moaned, and I grinned, moving his friend's foot over the gas.  
  
"Sayonara, sucker!" I said, letting go of the pant leg. The foot fell, and the car accelerated rapidly towards the building. A moment later, there was a loud crash, and the car came to a stop, its front end accordioned, and a couple police emerging from the building coughing.  
  
"It's too bad they weren't wearing their seatbelts" I muttered as I ducked into the alley Ukyo was in. We made our way quickly back to her place, and, locking her door, collapsed bonelessly into the booth we'd done her homework in the night before.  
  
After a few minutes (in which we heard a fire truck go by) Ukyo shifted in her seat, and looked at me "Arigato." I nodded, shuddering, and then tossing half the money I'd taken from them at her. Ukyo looked at it, then nodded, stepping over to her register and opening it. Blinking in surprise, I realized it had already been emptied, more than likely by the thugs.  
  
I pulled out the other half of the money, but Ukyo shook her head, no longer looking at me. She said something I couldn't make out, but I could hear her voice shake, and I signed, tucking the bills into my pocket, before heading back to start washing dishes.  
  
A while later I emerged, shaking my hands dry before I started putting the chairs up. Ukyo said something, and I turned to her, in time to see her frown and pull out a towel. When she started wiping down the chairs and tables I made my way over to her and gently put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped, then stopped to stare at me, and I shrugged, pointing at the booth.  
  
"Iie... no..." I snorted and pointed at the booth again, she sighed, and reluctantly marched over to it while I began wiping the tables down, glad the lights were in the ceiling, and not hanging, like they had at Applebee's. When the tables and chairs were wiped down, I put them up and began sweeping, the whole time Ukyo sat in the booth looking somewhat shaken.  
  
Finally, when I'd finished mopping, I made my way over to her only to find she'd fallen asleep sitting up. Sighing, I turned towards the grill, the one thing I could see that was left, and felt it briefly, sighing as I realized it had cooled. Looking around, I spotted the towel and steel wool Ukyo probably used to clean it, and started scrubbing, being gentle enough not to scratch the surface, but thorough enough to get out all the accumulated goop.  
  
When I was finished, I stepped back, smirking as I realized my old Wendy's manager would be proud, and made my way back to Ukyo, who'd collapsed into crossed arms, similar to the way I'd slept at school. After trying briefly to wake her, I sighed, and resigned myself to taking her to her room.  
  
Walking through the back, I blinked when I saw that the stairs were the steep folding stairs usually found in garages leading up to an attic. This wasn't Ukyo's shop in Nerima, then...  
  
Climbing the stairs I saw that Ukyo had converted a storage room into a bedroom of sorts, and I wondered briefly if she used a public bath to stay clean. Shrugging the thought off, I went back for Ukyo, wondering how best to do this, before eventually scooping her up with both arms.  
  
A couple minutes of carefully climbing the ladder backwards, I managed to get Ukyo into her futon, which was looking quite comfortable, after such a hectic evening. Shaking my head clear, I found her school supplies and, using stick figures and symbols, and wrote a comic-strip-like explanation for how she got up into her room and why I didn't change her clothes.  
  
After closing the door behind me (locking it was easier than I'd assumed) I made my way back to my bench, hoping to get Ukyo's signature the tomorrow so I could sleep indoors next time I closed my eyes for the night.  
  
Once again the sound of chirping roused me, and groaning, I sat up, mentally preparing myself to face the new day. After a couple hours in which I wandered (and learned just how rare porcelain thrones were in Japan) I found myself standing before the American Consulate, responsible for Osaka-Kobe, whatever the pamphlet I'd snagged meant by that.  
  
Unsure what, exactly, I could do inside, without a plausible ID or anything, I stared long enough for a security guard to approach and begin asking me questions in mangled English.  
  
"Huh?" I asked, snapping out of my daze finally.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked again, talking slowly. I smiled and turned back at the building. "Not yet..." I muttered, before turning and walking down the street. A quick stop at a convenience store, and a couple minutes of pantomiming later, I'd purchased for myself one phone card, which I quickly unwrapped and took with me to the nearest public phone.  
  
Staring at the Japanese directions and cursing my luck, I picked up the phone and dialed the number indicated, crossing as many fingers, limbs and even my eyes that they'd offer instructions in English.  
  
"If you'd like instructions in English, please press seven."  
  
"YES!" I cried, pounding the 'seven' button down so hard it got stuck for a moment. Quickly following the instructions for making out-of-country phone calls, I finally got my home number punched in, gland my parents had used the same number for over 12 years.  
  
"Thank you for calling Movie Gallery on Kinglsey. This is Shirley speaking, how may I help you?"  
  
"... Mo-Movie... Gallery?!" I said, haltingly.  
  
"Yes... Can I help you?"  
  
"No... no, I think I'm a bit outside your rental zone... sorry." I hung up. Well, crap. Apparently my parents had a different phone number than before... or they didn't exist at all. Picking the phone back up, I dialed the only other number I could remember from my past, my best friend at the time.  
  
"Ace Hardware Gardening center on Bland-" I hung up again. Okay, Travis isn't apparently there, either... not that I'd be able to talk my way past his mother... I was mature for my age back in 6th grade, but I doubted I could fake my younger voice convincingly.  
  
Well, so much for getting a message back to my parents. Of course, had I existed, my double would be back there, leaving them to wonder just who the nutcase on the phone was, but, well... Sighing, I realized just how cut off I was, really, and decided to wander back towards Ukyo's Place.  
  
Approaching it, I wondered briefly when I was in the Ranma Continuity. Ukyo looked pretty much like she did in the series (as much as a real-life person can look like an anime/manga character) so it wasn't too far in the past... but still, Ukyo had been practicing her art before season three, right? So what the hell was this?  
  
Sitting down on a bench, I began to frown. Apparently this was some sort of alternate universe I'd stumbled across. Or maybe it was cannon, and this part of Ukyo's life wasn't important enough to comment on? Oh well. Whenever I was, I'd probably managed to screw it all up already with those thugs last night. Sitting up a little more, I decided. I'd already screwed with things a little... how out-of-whack could I really make things.  
  
With nowhere to really go, and nothing holding me back, not to mention a rather good idea of what the future held in store, I figured I might as well have some fun with the natives, right? And, well, as much as I liked Ukyo, She was on a quest for Ranma, and it'd be just as fun giving her the upper hand when all the Nerima Wrecking Crew fell into place.  
  
And just as I made that decision, a rather angry looking Ukyo rounded the block, an... energetic girl clinging to her arm, or trying her best to, as Ukyo kept wrenching her arm free of her grasp.  
  
"Ukyo... err... San?" I called, faltering slightly as I realized that calling her by name might seem too familiar. She glanced at me, but the humanoid barnacle, talking too rapidly for me to understand much of anything, kept diverted her attention. Ukyo blushed lightly, tugging her arm free again, then hissed something, before unlocking her door.  
  
"Err... Kuonji-san... uhh... Ukyo-kun? Umm..." I said, trying to figure out what the right thing to say was. Ukyo stared at me for a second, and then started laughing before she waved me inside. I crossed the street quickly, entering while Ukyo gave the girl a harsh-sounding dressing-down.  
  
Jumping inside, she quickly locked the door behind her, and I quirked a brow at her.  
  
"Tsubasa no baka." She muttered, flipping one of the chairs down. Moving towards another, I realized just who the 'girl' outside the door was.  
  
"Tsubasa... Kurenai Tsubasa?"  
  
"Hai," she said, frowning at me.  
  
"You know he's a guy, right?"  
  
"'He'... nani?"  
  
"Tsubasa. err... ore-wa? Iie onna... umm... iie watashi-wa..." Damnit, I knew how to say 'girl' but not boy. Thankfully Ukyo understood.  
  
"Tsubasa no otoko?" She asked, her frown deepening. I blinked, wondering if Otoko meant male.  
  
"Maybe... Otoko... err... otoko no ore, onna no watashi?" I asked, knowing I was butchering Japanese horribly. She winced but nodded.  
  
"Hai. Onna," she said, cupping 'imaginary' breasts, and then she dropped her hands and her voice and said "otoko."  
  
I pointed at the door, and said "Otoko."  
  
Ukyo nodded, grabbed her battle spatula from behind the counter, and walked outside.  
  
There was a brief shout, followed by some muffled thumps, and I made my way around the room, putting the chairs back down on the floor. Ukyo came in a moment later, looking almost relieved, and I slipped into the booth, waiting for her to start.  
  
Finally, she slid into the booth across from me and stared down at the table.  
  
"Arigato, Kyle-san."  
  
"Iie! Kyle... "I said, wondering how to convey that I didn't deserve or want honorifics. Ukyo just shrugged, and then looked at me questioningly.  
  
"Umm... yeah, I need a slight favor..." I said. When she continued to stare at me, I sighed, and motioned for a piece of paper and a pencil, which she pulled out a pack she'd been wearing earlier.  
  
Quickly drawing out a series of stick figures (another stellar piece destined for the Sunday funnies, to be sure) depicting Ukyo (complete with battle spatula) and myself (towering over everyone like some behemoth) in which she signed a form indicating I worked for her. Ukyo, who watched, suddenly made a noise that I figured meant understanding, and she ran into the back, returning a moment later with my other comic-like note.  
  
She began reading it again, using her finger to follow it panel by panel, like I'd written it. Only after I thought about this did I realize that they read comics from right-to-left, top-to-bottom, and not left-to-right.  
  
"Oops..." I mumbled. Ukyo paused over the panel where I indicated I knew she was a girl (the circle with a cross dangling from it thankfully universal) then she looked at me with a frown, though there was curiosity in her eyes.  
  
"Ohh... I guess that didn't make much sense the first time through. Ahh... how do I know you're a girl?"  
  
Ukyo continued staring at me questioningly.  
  
"Ehh..." I stalled, wondering how I'd tell her I knew her secret.  
  
"Sore wa... himitsu desu?" I said, blushing behind an enigmatic smile. She rolled her eyes and slid out of the booth, moving behind the counter to start powering up the stove. I took a seat at the bar, and Ukyo quirked a brow at me, handing me a stack of napkins, a cup full of chopsticks, and pointed at the tables, expectantly.  
  
"Yes, master..." I mumbled, turning to set each table up. Ukyo chuckled, apparently understanding the gist of my utterance. While I prepped, I decided to press the issue.  
  
"Ukyo... Ukyo no onna, ne?" I asked. After a moment of silence, I pressed further, "Ne?"  
  
"Hai." She said, frowning at me. After a moment, she muttered, "Watashi wa Kuonji Ukyo desu."  
  
"Sugoi." I said. Pointing at her with the wrapped chopsticks, I said "onna," before pointing at the two of us and saying "himitsu."  
  
Ukyo nodded, and continued working, though I thought I heard another "arigato" come from her side of the restaurant. Finishing the table preparations, I snatched up my note and held it out to her.  
  
Pausing for a moment to look at it, Ukyo looked at me and sighed. She said something I couldn't understand, then pulled out a wallet and waved a couple bills at me, frowning. I laughed.  
  
"Iie."  
  
"Iie?"  
  
I pulled out the wad of money I'd taken off the thugs last night, "Yakuza yen." I stretched an imaginary substance between my hands, and Ukyo nodded when she realized I'd stretch the stolen money out to last me for a while. Pulling out a rather fancy looking piece of paper, Ukyo began writing, handing me the paper a moment later with the pen, and indicating that I write. I looked at her and she pointed at the blank, "Kyle."  
  
"Oh!" I said, realizing she wanted me to sign the paper. Quickly filling in my name, Ukyo finished it, then stamped it with something she appeared to have produced out of thin air, before handing the letter to me.  
  
"Thank you," I said, standing up. Grabbing the piece of paper I'd set down, she drew another clock face at 8:30, and I nodded, before walking out the door.  
  
That afternoon, I got myself the room I'd wanted before, and paid it off for the next three months with the stolen money, which the homeowner had glanced at suspiciously before taking.  
  
--===-- A couple nights later I entered Ukyo's restaurant, and stopped as I spotted two uniformed and one plain-clothes officer standing around talking to a sitting Ukyo, who looked somewhat annoyed with their presence.  
  
The two officers spoke to the third, who nodded then turned to me.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Mr...?"  
  
"Kyle. Just... Kyle. You speak English very well..."  
  
"Very well, 'Kyle,' and thank you. I learned in America."  
  
"So... something wrong?"  
  
"Ahh, to the point. About a week ago, a few Yakuza thugs ran off the road and managed to impact a nearby police station. While there wasn't any evidence anything other than poor driving was the cause, we have been asked to investigate their claim that a foreigner and a store owner maliciously attacked them and forced them to drive into the station."  
  
"Yakuza... gangsters?" I asked, glad I'd left the gun I'd lifted back at my place. The cop nodded, "Yes, a mafia-like organization. These three are all going to be incarcerated for some time, but we've been asked to make a show of investigating their claims, to ensure a thorough and complete dedication to procedure."  
  
I smirked as I realized these three didn't really care what the thugs had claimed. Apparently their disdain for the Yakuza matched most cops' feelings for mobsters. I briefly wondered if the person insisting on a thorough investigation was on the Yakuza's payroll, but knew better than to suggest, or even comment on such.  
  
"Can't say I remember anything like that. Crashed a car, you said?" The officer nodded, and I frowned, "This area doesn't see much vehicular traffic... Was it a gray car? I saw one around here once before, but it was apparently empty."  
  
"It was a gray car... are you sure it was empty?"  
  
"I don't make a habit of peeking into tinted windows, if you know what I mean. I'm still a guest in your country, and making an ass of myself isn't the best way of extending my welcome."  
  
"No, I would imagine not. Well, Kyle, I think that's all. You two have a nice evening." He turned to the other two officers and said something, and they turned and left with him, nodding bye as they exited. Ukyo looked up at me, then appeared to collapse into her chair, burying her head in her arms.  
  
"Ehh... Ukyo?" She mumbled something in reply, and I just stood there, waiting for her to cheer up. After a few minutes, she stood up and started closing early. When I started to talk, she turned to me and said "No," and I decided not to bring it up again. Finally, we finished closing up, and I sat down to help her with her homework again.  
  
-===-  
  
"Hey, Ukyo?"  
  
"Well, you're early. What's up?"  
  
"Umm... well... It's been three months since I met you, and I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind... well... ever since we first met, I suppose," I said. I'd learned just enough Japanese, and she just enough English for us to converse somewhat fluently using a mix of English and Japanese that left most eavesdroppers bewildered.  
  
"Oh?" She asked, looking somewhat like she was expecting it. Frowning, I continued "It's nothing like that. I'm sure Tsubasa is enough." Ukyo rolled her eyes but nodded, and I grinned slightly. Despite that first beating, the Cross-dresser had, much like his cannon-counterpart, continued vying for Ukyo's heart.  
  
I'd done what I could to keep them apart, but I wasn't around enough for to catch him all the time, and Ukyo was more than capable (Hell, more capable than me) at taking care of him herself.  
  
"Gimme a hand closing up."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"It's been a slow night. It's less profitable staying open than it is closing up, nights like this."  
  
I shrugged and started wiping down tables, while she started breaking down the grill. When we'd finished and taken our customary spots in the booth near the door, Ukyo smiled at me, and I quirked a brow.  
  
"So what's up, Sugar?"  
  
I about gagged on the glass of water I was sipping.  
  
"Not much, Ukyo-chan," I said, almost maliciously. Ukyo blushed and I grinned, taking a sip before starting.  
  
"Well, it's a long story, but basically I kind of want to explain how I knew you were a girl, and, well..."  
  
"My name?"  
  
"Huh?" I asked, confused.  
  
"When you first came in here, you called me by name, before I introduced myself to you. Obviously you knew me, but I didn't really bother asking why."  
  
"Oh, well yeah, that too."  
  
"So talk. I've been wondering about this for a while now."  
  
"Well, it's kind of hard to believe."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah. If I were meeting you a year or so from now, it'd be much better, I suppose..."  
  
"What, is something going to happen in the future that makes me believe weird stories?"  
  
"You don't know the half of it," I said with a laugh.  
  
"What? Kyle... that's not really funny."  
  
"I know, but, really, you're going to have to trust me when I say I know a lot more than you think."  
  
"Like what? You've been rather vague, so far. Tell me something I don't know."  
  
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and spoke in Japanese, "Ukyo no iinazuke, Saotome Ranma."  
  
I jerked my eyes open when Ukyo's palm slapped the table and she leaned forward, scowling at me, all amusement gone from her face in an instant.  
  
"What do you know about him?"  
  
"I... well, promise you'll let me finish before kicking me out?"  
  
"Trust me, honey. If you know anything about Ranma, I'll listen real good," she said, her jaw clenched. Sighing, I summed up what I could remember of Ranma's life, up to leaving China for the Tendo's.  
  
"You know, I could almost believe that story, if it weren't for the fact that you made Ranma out to be completely innocent."  
  
"Well, as far as I could tell, he was."  
  
"Ha! That bastard ran off with his worthless father-"  
  
"Ukyo, you were his only friend. He still thinks fondly of you."  
  
"Ha! I bet he still laughs whenever I come up in a conversation between him and his pathetic excuse for a father."  
  
"Well, I won't argue with that..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Genma. He's definitely a worthless excuse for a father."  
  
"Oh. But..."  
  
"No, If Ranma's anything like the Ranma I'm thinking of, he sincerely still thinks you're his best friend. Hell, he never knew you were a girl."  
  
"What!? Now I know you're lying!"  
  
"He was just a little kid! What does it matter to him whether his friend is a boy or a girl? All he knew was that you were his friend until the day Genma took him away."  
  
"That's so sweet, I wish I could bottle it and use it in my sauce," Ukyo said, frowning at me. I rolled my eyes. "Besides," she said, her frown deepening, "He knew I was a girl."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"Yes, yes I did, but I'm not quite sure how you're so sure."  
  
"I'm sure! Okay?"  
  
"But... That doesn't-"  
  
"Kyle! Ranma knows because we played 'doctor' when we were children. And he was pointing and laughing as he rode off on my dowry!" Ukyo shouted, her eyes suddenly red around the rims.  
  
"..." I said, staring at her as she turned and slumped over. Looking out the window, I realized how much trouble I was in. Not only was I in another universe, but also the one I thought I was in, the Ranmaverse, as I tended to call it, wasn't 'right' at all.  
  
"So... I'm in some sort of fucked-up Alternate Universe," I muttered.  
  
Ukyo glanced at me, and frowned, "What's that supposed to mean."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Don't you start now. 'Alternate Universe.' What is that, some sort of American way of saying a screwed up situation?"  
  
"No, it's... well, basically, Umm... It's like..."  
  
"Kyle."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
'You're babbling."  
  
"Sorry. Look, I'm not from here."  
  
"Oh, really? I couldn't tell," Ukyo spat sarcastically.  
  
"Damnit!" I said, jumping to my feet. I turned to the door, but Ukyo was there in a second, blocking my way, her battle spatula in hand.  
  
"What?" I asked, frowning. She looked down at the spatula, then at me, and then sighed.  
  
"One moment," she mumbled, disappearing into the back. After a couple minutes, I sighed, and slid the door open, but Ukyo shouted "WAIT, DAMMIT," causing me to slide the door closed again.  
  
A minute later, Ukyo came back down, walking somewhat shyly. In the dim light, I couldn't realize why she was taking such small steps, until she got closer, and I realized she'd put on a pair of slacks, and a sweater, as opposed to her usual guy-ish attire. With her hair down, I realized she looked like a girl again. Looking even closer, I realized suddenly that aside from the clothes, her chest wasn't bound.  
  
"Ehh... Ukyo?"  
  
"What? It's not like you don't know. And it's not as comfortable as it used to be..." She said, defensively. I just nodded.  
  
"So, why exactly are you following me?"  
  
"Because. You're going to explain just what it is you think... thought... whatever... you knew, and if I belt you across town, I won't have to repair a wall when I do."  
  
"How economically conscious of you," I said, wryly. Ukyo gave a noncommittal grunt and opened the door. A few minutes later, she spoke again, "Well?"  
  
"Well what? This isn't the easiest or most believable of stories to tell. Believe me. Even worse when it might be wrong."  
  
"Well, it's not all wrong. Ranma is my fiancée. Obviously some of what you know is right."  
  
"Yeah, but... well... Fine. I'm from a different world, and a world very similar to this one is a form of entertainment to people on my world."  
  
"Geeze, talk about a god complex..." Ukyo muttered.  
  
"Ukyo... Kuonji! I'm serious. There's a Manga. A Manga called Ranma Nibun no Ichi, where Ranma is the main character, and he's got multiple fiancées and-"  
  
"Are you saying, Kyle-san, that Ranma is some sort of glorified character in a perverted Manga, and I'm some sort of brainless second-string character?"  
  
"Well... not really. There's not much perversion... you girls tend to beat him-"  
  
"I AM NOT PART OF THAT JACKASSES HAREM!"  
  
"Ukyo! It's just a story, where I'm from. And it's not even like this world, except some of you are here, and some of the situations are... okay, so it is a LITTLE like the manga. But if what you say is true, then a lot of things are wrong."  
  
"Alright, so there's some sort of story based loosely upon my life..."  
  
"Ranma's life."  
  
"It'd have to be a different Ranma if the author didn't want to get strung up by their toes..." Ukyo mumbled. I snorted, before continuing.  
  
"Look, Ukyo. Of all the characters in the story, you were probably the best one for Ranma. Sure you had your eccentric moments, and were a bit dense at times," I realized she was taking a couple practice swings with her spatula and hastily amended, "but they were very few and for the most part you were exceedingly kind and..."  
  
"And?" She asked, holding the spatula still for a second.  
  
"And... well... Rumiko Takahashi was right when she made you friendly, likable, and kind. You're pretty much exactly what she described. Including the cute part."  
  
CLANG Ukyo dropped her spatula on the sidewalk. I took a step back to avoid any sudden random outbursts, and hoped she'd never find out that it was Ranma who'd thought she was cute.  
  
"Anyway," I said, trying to keep the (one-sided) conversation going, "Aside from you, there was Akane Tendo, who Genma had engaged Ranma to before birth, Shampoo, a Chinese Amazon Ranma beat up and wanted him due to stupid laws, and... you."  
  
"How was this other me dragged into it?"  
  
"Well... Ranma complimented you while you were trying to kick his ass, and you sort of dropped the revenge and decided to try to win his heart."  
  
"Okay, that other me had issues."  
  
"You mean, you believe my story?"  
  
WHAM! I felt the ground fall away, moments before I found myself lying facedown in a flowerbed. Spitting daisies and wincing at the sudden sting along my left side, I climbed to my feet and spun on her, "What the hell was that for?"  
  
"What the hell? You tell me all that and then you-"  
  
"I WAS SERIOUS!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"Look, I'm telling the truth. Really, I am. But the fact that you believe it is a bit surprising. I mean, I guess here in Japan, Mysticism still holds a bit more influence, but where I come from, a story like that would have gotten me a trip to the loony bin, or a job writing TV shows."  
  
"TV shows?"  
  
"Yeah. I just remembered that Sliders came out around this time in my world. It was a fun show. I just finished watching the first three seasons the week before I appeared here."  
  
"Umm... right..." Ukyo said, frowning and looking at her spatula warily. She probably figured it messed with my head...  
  
"Well, look... in this other universe, your double swore off her femininity, and devoted her life to getting revenge on Ranma. Up until season three of the anime, it was assumed she was training against the raging seas and whatnot, until going to Nerima to extract revenge."  
  
"Well, I have been training and did swear off my femininity... looks like I didn't do too well at that," she muttered, looking down at the sweater she was wearing and running her hands through her hair for a moment.  
  
"But I have to support myself somehow. What little money I got from my dad got me enough to start a curbside business, and what I made from that, I bought a place here. Nerima, you said?"  
  
"Yeah," I replied, feeling a bruise on my shoulder. Suddenly I froze, "You aren't..."  
  
"What? I swore I would get my revenge, and now that I know where he's headed-"  
  
"But! I mean... what if he's not even headed there?"  
  
Ukyo paused to consider that, and then shrugged. "I guess I'll worry about that when it happens. Besides, Osaka just doesn't have enough interest in Okonomiyaki to run an efficient business. At least, not this neighborhood. But Tokyo..." Ukyo's gaze turned upwards, at the stars, and I sighed, wondering what to do.  
  
"Tomorrow, I'll go tell your landlord I fired you."  
  
"WHAT! I'll get kicked out!"  
  
"Well of course. You don't think I'm going to go to Nerima without a guide, do you? Who better than someone who knows the future?"  
  
"But! Aren't you being a little impulsive?"  
  
"Are you saying your story isn't true?"  
  
"No, it is. But it's also obviously not perfect. This is an Alternate Universe. Some things have changed, and the further into the future we go, the more the changes will manifest." I rolled my eyes at my terminology. Fortunately, Ukyo didn't ask for an explanation, and I assumed she understood from the context, or knew what the words meant.  
  
"Well, even 50% is more of an edge than anyone else on Earth has. Might as well exploit it, right?" Ukyo said, walking off. I hurried after her, hoping to at least talk her into waiting.  
  
"Well, how is this going to work? I'm going to hate Nerima. Sure, you'll be one of the top fighters in the area, having been able to take on a season three Ranma... I can get creamed by Kuno... or even worse, Akane."  
  
"Well, that's easy. I'll just have to train you while we move there," Ukyo said, as if that were the simplest thing in the world. I froze.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me. You can walk, you have okay reflexes. I'll call my dad for my old training spatulas, and we can get you started tomorrow."  
  
"But... but... but I'm a twenty year-old computer nerd with the endurance of a bullet, and attention deficit disorder!"  
  
"... What?"  
  
"I burn fuel almost instantly, I have a horrible attention span, and I'm more out of shape than a 500 pound redneck with an unlimited supply of pork rinds."  
  
"You know, for someone so worried about not being able to fight, you sure seem adamant about not learning how to."  
  
"Err..."  
  
"Anyway, you can come with me or you can try to find someone else to let you work here. I may have bought your story, but without any proof of legality, you're not exactly going to be the most welcome addition to a work force here."  
  
"You know... if Nabiki isn't in Nerima, I already know what happened to her."  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean?" she said, spinning. I jumped back, barely avoiding her spatula, and she grinned.  
  
"See! Already learning. Tomorrow I'll have a going-out-of-business sale, and we'll start working you into shape."  
  
Watching her walk back to the restaurant, I sighed, "What the hell did I just do...?"  
  
--===--  
  
"You do realize that with my luck, we would be out camping in the northern wilds of Japan when the worst blizzard in 200 years just happens to blow through..."  
  
"Shut up and dig. I know I put the Backpacks down somewhere near here."  
  
--===--  
  
"And then I add the sauce, right?"  
  
"No, first you sprinkle on the seasoning, then the sauce. Otherwise the crust is just a crust."  
  
"... I miss Dominos..."  
  
--===---  
  
"So, you want me to just jump off this small CLIFF and land like it's no big deal."  
  
"Yep. Best way to learn how to turn in midair so you always land on your feet."  
  
"Ever heard of parachutes?"  
  
"They only work once, and can get caught on rocky outcroppings."  
  
"But it's a- WAUGHH!!!"  
  
"Always have to push them that first time..."  
  
--===--  
  
"Well, sugar, I think that's about all I can teach you."  
  
"I'm done training?"  
  
"No, you're done cooking. You've still got a long ways to go when it comes to practical applications."  
  
"...shit."  
  
--===---  
  
Six months after we set out from Osaka, Ukyo and I walked into Nerima. Or, really, Ukyo walked, while I pulled the yattai we'd procured out of the forest. While I knew it was one way of building up strength, I didn't see why Ukyo insisted we avoid the trails, instead pulling the damned thing through every bush, branch, and sapling that stood in our way.  
  
"Oh, thank god. I can... can..." I stopped as I stared at the neighborhood. Instead of the cute suburb I'd read about in the past, this Nerima looked like something out of Saving Private Ryan. In the distance I could hear what sounded like gunshots, and smoke billowed upwards in numerous places, leading me to believe the fire department had pulled out of Nerima a while ago.  
  
Nearby, the crumbled remains of a building lay, skeletal beams reaching up into the sky like some hideous parody of some monstrous ribcage.  
  
"Kyle-san?"  
  
"Ukyo-san?"  
  
"What was Nerima like in your world?"  
  
I was about to correct her, then sighed, "It looked like a 70's style suburb of London or Tokyo... Temperate climate, lots of lined-up houses, generally smallish yards."  
  
"Right..." Ukyo said, softly.  
  
"Well, there goes any idea I harbored that things would run similarly to the original."  
  
"Shut up Kyle."  
  
"Yeah yeah..."  
  
Following Ukyo through the streets, we saw little in the way of people, though I could feel multiple pairs of eyes on us. By the way Ukyo was acting, she felt the pressure just as keenly as I. Finally, ahead, a figure darted from one shadow to another, a sword held tightly in its hand.  
  
Ukyo called out to him, and I frowned, reaching behind my back to pull out the pistol I'd liberated all those months ago. While I was proficient with Ukyo's (And now mine, apparently) school's throwing-spatulas, I did a lot better using the gun as a melee weapon than Ukyo's battle-spatula, which I tended to drop on my toes.  
  
The figure turned and grinned when he saw Ukyo, turning and running at us, but suddenly paused when he saw my gun. The grin turned into a horrific rictus, and the figure seemed to morph into a wiry creature that leapt up, up...  
  
Bringing the gun up, I intercepted the descending blade, flowing under it to guide it around me, instead of through my head, as the creature had planned.  
  
"What the fu-" I was stopped when the creature buried its knee in my gut. Collapsing, I watched Ukyo blindside it with the flat of her spatula, launching the creature into a wall. Climbing shakily to my feet, I turned to her.  
  
"What the hell was that?" She shouted, staring at the fallen figure.  
  
"You know, I was just about to ask you that."  
  
"As if I would know," I replied, scowling. Moving closer to the thing, I realized with a start that it wasn't human. It had looked it, before, but up close, when it wasn't moving like a punk on PCP, I could see the skeletal features, the eyeless holes that still burned with an devilish light, and the sinewy, holey body that looked like tangled tree roots.  
  
"Kyle? Let's go..."  
  
"One second... this thing is..."  
  
"No. Now Kyle."  
  
"It's not moving, I'm fairly certain we don't have much to worry about."  
  
"It's not this one I'm worried about. It's friends, however..."  
  
Glancing up at Ukyo, I saw she'd gone somewhat pale, and turned to follow her gaze, before jumping to my feet. Coming up the street were 8 more of the creatures, two of which were crawling on the wall like lickers from Resident Evil.  
  
"Ohh..." I said, softly, taking a step back.  
  
"RUN!" Ukyo screamed, grabbing my arm and pulling me in the opposite direction. I pulled free of her grasp for a moment, punching through the Yattai and grabbing a small bag with our savings in it, before joining her as we ran away from the advancing horde.  
  
Turning a corner, Ukyo and I froze as a spotlight from above and ahead of us suddenly illuminated us, blinding us at the same time.  
  
"Open fire!" someone shouted behind the light. Ukyo and I dove behind a building as bullets peppered the ground we'd been standing on moments before.  
  
"What the fuck kinda stupid-assed Nerima is this?" I shouted to no one in particular. Ukyo blinked, checking her arms and legs for any unwanted holes, and I continued ranting, "I could have gotten Cannon Ranma. Or maybe some sort of paradise Ranma, but NO... I'm transported to a Nerima where the only sane person aside from myself is just as clueless as I am, and we- " I was stopped as Ukyo slapped me.  
  
"I'm not going to thank you and tell you I needed that, you know. Ranting aloud after a firefight is great stress relief."  
  
"I'm sure it is... lets wait until-" Whatever she said was drowned out by a soul-chilling shriek and the sound of bullets flying past our little alcove by the hundreds. Ukyo and I crouched down as the guns of whoever had earlier fired at us chewed the horde of beasties following us apart.  
  
Finally, the noise died down, and I looked at Ukyo questioningly. She shrugged, and I sighed.  
  
"Hey out there?"  
  
"Hey yourself, hellspawn!"  
  
"Wait! We're human!"  
  
"Not likely. That oversized pancake flipper of yours was a dead give away."  
  
"But that's just a... err..."  
  
"Just a what?!"  
  
"Look, it's a weapon, but so what? What can I do to prove to you that we're human?"  
  
"Well, if you let us shoot you-"  
  
"Fat chance!"  
  
"Look, Hellspawn, unless you have some sort of firearm that proves you're alive-"  
  
"I have a pistol!"  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Step out in the open, and Fire it up in the air, once!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do it or I'll send a squad down there to shoot YOU instead."  
  
I blinked down at Ukyo, who was looking as confused as I was, before sighing.  
  
"Okay, here I come!" I shouted, stepping out. Feeling a dozen weapons pointed at me (and seeing the red glow of quite a few laser sights) I fired the pistol up in the air, once, then dropped it, careful not to point it at the congregation and find myself ventilated.  
  
"Now your partner!"  
  
Glancing at Ukyo, who looked at the gun disdainfully, stepped out and took the pistol, looking at it for a moment before pointing it up and firing once. She jumped when it went off, and then slapped it into my chest when she saw me smirk.  
  
"Jackass."  
  
"Both of you quickly come this way, before more Hellspawn come."  
  
Ukyo and I glanced at each other, then jogged towards the blockade, hoping nobody had an itchy trigger finger, and none of those creatures appeared behind us suddenly. Both of us sighed with relief when we passed the barricade and all the JSDF weapons pointed outward. An officer of some sort approached us and, snatching my pistol before I could protest, led us away, not quite at gunpoint, but close to it.  
  
"What the hell?" I asked when Ukyo and I were finally shoved into a barred cell that was too small to lie down in, much less hold two people.  
  
"You two are human, which means you live, for now. But if you turn out to be spies for the hellspawn, you'll wish we'd shot you when you first rounded that corner." someone said. With the lights shining on us, we couldn't make out more than a figure, so Ukyo and I glanced at each other and said the same thing.  
  
"We're not spies!"  
  
"Right. That's what we're here to find out. You two don't look smart enough to be spies, but that's the best kind of cover, isn't it?"  
  
"Err... I suppose." I muttered. Ukyo elbowed me and I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Well, you two don't act much like spies, either. What were you two doing in a blockaded zone?"  
  
"Blockaded zone?" Ukyo asked.  
  
"Yes, you know... the whole west side of Nerima? Everything within a ten- block radius of the Kuno estate?"  
  
"Kuno estate?" I asked, straightening up.  
  
"You know something about it?" The figure asked, leaning forward.  
  
"Kind of... I mean, maybe."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Well, if it's the same Kuno's I've heard of, they're all a bit... nuts." I said, cautiously.  
  
"Nuts? The crazy kid caused this problem. Him and his friend Gosunkugi."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Geeze... even if you aren't spies, you two should know about what happened here last week."  
  
Ukyo and I glanced at each other, then the figure, before shaking our heads.  
  
"Great. Just great. I've got, what? Two ignorant civvies out for an evening stroll?"  
  
"We just got through with a lengthy training trip."  
  
"Camping trip," Ukyo amended. The figure sighed then stood up and began pacing.  
  
"Nine days ago, from what we can tell, Hikaru Gosunkugi and Tatewaki Kuno met in the Kuno Estate. Kuno asked Gosunkugi to summon some sort of 'test' I dunno... something about opponents that fought with true weapons or some such bullshit. Anyway, somehow, Gosunkugi managed to create a portal to some sort of hell and out poured more opponents than Kuno could have taken on in a hundred years. They killed Gosunkugi, and Kuno somehow managed to get away, though he claims he was spared by their inability to touch 'one such as he' or something crazy along those lines."  
  
"You know... as demented as this sounds, I can kind of see Gos and Kuno doing something stupid like that," I muttered.  
  
"So you do know them?"  
  
"Not personally." I said, offhandedly. The figure shrugged, "Anyhow, guns drop the things faster than they would normal humans, but once they get within range with their martial arts weapons, you're done for."  
  
"Why's that?" Ukyo asked.  
  
"What? The gun thing or the weapon thing?"  
  
"Both," she replied.  
  
"They fight like... I don't know. I saw a guy with his second Dan in Kempo go down in seconds. You have to be near-world-class, or far enough away to pick them off without getting shredded by their throwing stars. As for the gun thing," he took a breath, before continuing "we figure it's the way Kuno worded his wish. Whatever it is, they things can't touch any modern weapons, or they," the figure snorted humorously, or hysterically, "spontaneously combust."  
  
"So that's why you had me fire my weapon..." I said. The figure nodded.  
  
"Weren't there supposed to be a lot of martial artists in Nerima?" Ukyo asked. Whether or not she was asking the figure or me I wasn't sure, but the figure responded as if he'd been asked.  
  
"Yes, as well as families, singles, and quite a few businesses. We evacuated those we could, but, well, there are quite a few people unaccounted for."  
  
"What happens to those" Ukyo asked softly.  
  
"Well, the lucky ones die. The unlucky ones join their ranks in a couple hours."  
  
"You mean... like Zombies?"  
  
"This isn't a horror movie, Kids," the figure nearly spat, turning to sit down.  
  
"On that note," he said, straightening a small stack of papers, "You two are free to go, though we'll have to keep that pistol. Japan has strict anti-gun laws, you know. Other than that," the figure said, standing up and clapping his hands once, "Welcome to Nerima."  
  
--===--  
  
"What the fuck?" I said when Ukyo and I were deposited on the side of the road just outside one of the parks that dotted Nerima.  
  
"You know, I'm beginning to think leaving Osaka wasn't such a good idea." Patting Ukyo on the shoulder, I turned towards the sunset and pointed.  
  
"At least that war zone is contained. I mean, now that we're out of it, we can pretty much continue as planned..." I said, trailing off.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ukyo asked, watching my finger drop.  
  
"What, exactly, is our plan?"  
  
"Well, I get us a shop, and we start a business, while we wait for Ranma and plan my revenge."  
  
"Gee, how chipper."  
  
"You know, as well as I do, what this means to me."  
  
"Well... yeah... but..."  
  
"But nothing, Kyle."  
  
I sighed. Shaking the bag that contained pretty much all of our worldly possessions, now (everything else currently sitting in the middle of a war zone and probably being ravaged by hellspawn) and wondered just how far I could stretch it and the money in my wallet.  
  
Ukyo looked at the bag, and then stared at the ground. Finally, she looked at me, "I'm glad you were clearheaded enough to grab that bag in the rush."  
  
"I'm glad you told me to run, otherwise I wouldn't have realized I needed to run until those things were right on top of me."  
  
"Well, thanks for looking out for both of us," she said, turning to look at the streets again.  
  
"Let's not have a thank-you argument. You saved our butts immediately, I saved our butts in the near future, and we're even."  
  
Ukyo nodded, and began walking, before pausing and looking back at me, "do you know the way around?"  
  
"Err... not really. Just that the canal runs alongside the path to Furinken High school from the Tendo's, and that the Amazons and your shops were somewhere nearby that path, because you two managed to ambush Ranma quite a few times..."  
  
"Yeah yeah... That must have been some other Ranma..." Ukyo said, glancing around before hopping up onto a nearby roof. Looking up at her, I frowned. While I knew that, physically, a person should not be capable of jumping more than half their high, much less three times their height or more, I'd learned that knowing didn't mean much when people around me did it at the most unusual times.  
  
"Coming?" Ukyo asked, staring down at me for a moment before turning away. Sighing, I crouched, unsure how I did it, and Leapt, landing on the roof a moment later, as if I'd been on some sort of trampoline, and not a solid city street.  
  
"You're still not going on about the improbability of jumping or whatever, are you?" She asked, as I looked down at the ground below. Turning to her, I sighed, "Not really. Kind of hard to argue when I routinely prove myself wrong."  
  
Ukyo chuckled and leapt to another building, and I followed, throwing the sack over my back. Not only was I making good 20-foot horizontal leaps at times, I wasn't feeling much more than slightly winded. A far cry from the out-of-shape bum I'd been when I arrived 5 months ago.  
  
"Ukyo, how is it you've trained all your life, as has everyone else, but I've managed to catch up to you in a matter of months?"  
  
"Well, sugar, you seemed to have known a lot of the basics already. I mean, I had to teach you a lot, but I felt like I was teaching someone who had, at one point, already known quite a bit, but just forgotten it all."  
  
"You mean I knew how to fight?"  
  
"Some things. I don't know. You said you took Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu back wherever you came from, right?"  
  
"Yeah. And basic Armed Forces Self Defense."  
  
"Well, I guess you mentally built upon those foundations some... If this world was an Anime series, you probably saw lots of different maneuvers and attacks. You can't help but subconsciously commit things like that to memory."  
  
"So you mean every corny fight in a movie I saw was building up my martial arts arsenal?"  
  
"Something like that. Once your body was up to the ability to use it, you probably started using them without really thinking about it."  
  
"I so need to go watch some Jet Li movies, now."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing. Never mind. Where are we going?"  
  
Ukyo paused, looking down at the street four stories below us, then at Tokyo Tower, blinking in the distance. "I suppose camping is out of the question..."  
  
"Well, those first couple nights I slept on a park bench..." I ventured.  
  
"Kyle, if you're trying to make me feel bad for not inviting you in, think about how I felt that first time someone almost two meters tall and looking as out of place as a t-rex at a vegetarian convention walked through my door and couldn't speak a word of Japanese."  
  
"I could speak a word. Quite a few!"  
  
"'Watashi wa Kyle desu?'" she mimicked, laughing as she finished. I felt my face burn, and I remained silent as she leapt towards a run down-looking hotel.  
  
I could read a little Katakana, though Hiragana and Kanji still gave me a bit of trouble, so when Ukyo leapt down, I followed(a three story drop was nothing after Ukyo's 'cliff-training'), understanding what she intended to do.  
  
We quickly got a room with twin beds, and locked the door quickly, staring at the torn wallpaper and stained carpet briefly before collapsing on our respective beds, too tired to bother with sheets or pillows.  
  
I awoke to the sound of voices whispering above me.  
  
"These are the two. Had a bag full of cash and nothing else."  
  
"Where do you think they stashed it?"  
  
I felt the bag under my head, an improvised pillow, and wondered how long it'd take these idiots to figure it out. Lying on my side, I cracked my eye open, looking at Ukyo, who appeared to be sleeping (And snoring) through the interruption. Apparently, I'd have to fight alone if push came to shove.  
  
"This guy's using it as a pillow!" the one above and behind me whispered a moment later. Keeping still, I wondered what they'd do about it, when I suddenly felt some vague, urgent urge to MOVE, and I rolled, narrowly avoiding the downward swing of a heavy flashlight.  
  
"What the?" the guy said, moments before I sat up and swung, catching him with a viscous uppercut as he leaned over after swinging the flashlight at my head. He collapsed in a boneless heap behind the bed, and his friend backed away, reaching into his jacket. I groaned as he pulled a gun.  
  
"... the hell? What kind of hypocrisy are Japan's gun-control laws?" I said, as the figure grinned. Unfortunately for him, his back was to Ukyo who brought her foot down on his head, sending him off to lala-land to join his friend.  
  
"You know..." I said, rubbing my fist where I struck the other thugs' jawbone, "not that I'm ungrateful. Far from it. But next time something like this happens, could you hit the guy after he's pointed the gun somewhere else?"  
  
"You mean like, at me?" Ukyo asked, frowning.  
  
"No, well... not really," I said, pulling the thug's wallet, "The ground or the ceiling or a friend of theirs... just not at anyone we don't want getting shot."  
  
Ukyo watched me search the guy, before doing the same with hers. "You want this?" she asked, holding the pistol up between her thumb and forefinger like it was a filthy rag.  
  
"Sure. Hand it to me. I'm not sure if it's safe."  
  
She held the gun out to me, and I sighed, before going over to her and taking it, kneeling to remove the thugs' shoulder holster as I had with the first one, oh so many months ago.  
  
"Well, I guess this is a Yakuza hotel or something. These two were tipped off by the desk clerk that our luggage was full of money."  
  
"Guess we'd better check out, then," Ukyo said. Shrugging, I tied the two up with the bed sheets, making sure to tie them down so they couldn't untie each other once they woke up. A quick anonymous tip to the police, and Ukyo and I left, the sound of sirens coming from the opposite direction.  
  
Dawn saw Ukyo and me in the marketplace, looking around for a potential place to rent for a small restaurant.  
  
After three hours, Ukyo stopped outside a small building, a "For Sale" sign in the window, and turned to me.  
  
"Whaddaya think?"  
  
"I think swinging doors haven't been invented yet."  
  
Ukyo elbowed me in the stomach, and then peered through the window.  
  
"It looks pretty nice. Not much fixing to do. And I think I can see real stairs in the back. It might actually have a real second-level apartment."  
  
"Lucky you." I muttered, glancing around. To be honest, this place looked sort of familiar. Blinking, I turned around to look at the restaurant again, imagining Ukyo's red banner, fresh flowers, and a fresh coat of paint.  
  
"This is your store. From b... from the story." I said. Ukyo was staring at me, and I quirked a brow at her.  
  
"You don't think that, after all this time, I intend to send you out to find your own place, do you?"  
  
"Huh" I said, not having expected that.  
  
"I'm not looking for my own place, I'm looking for a place for us."  
  
"But... well... umm..." I wasn't quite sure what to say. Finally, "Thanks?" I said, softly. She rolled her eyes, muttered something about men, and committed the phone number to memory, before running over to a public phone.  
  
An hour later, we were standing in the hallway upstairs, the realtor carefully counting the large wad of bills we'd just handed him.  
  
Ukyo was currently counting what few we had remaining, and I quickly snagged a large bill, grinning at her as I walked down the hall. Tonight, we'd probably celebrate the beginning of a new Ucchan's, but there was no way in hell I'd enjoy a place of my own that had one of those funky squatting toilets I'd been forced to use everywhere I go.  
  
When I returned, brand-new porcelain throne nestled snugly under my arm, Ukyo rolled her eyes, before shrugging helplessly. During our Training trip/move, I'd forced her to try one, and she'd said she was mildly surprised at the difference. Now she'd find out how I'd felt.  
  
I spent the rest of the afternoon removing the weird (and grossly stained) contraption that had been in the way, and replacing it with a bathroom appliance I took for granted in America.  
  
That night, we went out, after stopping by a shopping center for some new clothes, and Ukyo began talking excitedly.  
  
"We talked the price of the place down enough that we have the money to buy most of what we need. However, I'm not sure we can get a grill and still stock up on supplies, or things like tables and all that."  
  
"Could..." I started, wondering if mentioning it was a good idea. Her questioning gaze, however, prompted me to continue, "Could we ask your dad for some help?"  
  
Ukyo blushed red for a moment, then sighed, nodding, "That'll have to do. He can probably put a good word in with his supplier, maybe get us a deal..." she said, staring out the window.  
  
"Hey, chipper up, Ukyo-chan." I said, grinning. She frowned at me, then nodded, the frown melting into a little smile, "You're right. Sorry, I just feel kind of dead, doing so much in one day."  
  
"I know the feeling. It's just too much of a mental bite to swallow all at once."  
  
"That's an interesting way of looking at it. But it makes sense..."  
  
I grinned, "You did a lot today."  
  
Ukyo frowned at me, "We did a lot today. Don't write yourself off just yet, Kyle. You may not be anywhere on this world's official paperwork, but you're helping run this thing."  
  
"Me? But... you... err... your counterpart handled it alone, for the most part..."  
  
"I'm not her," Ukyo said, her frown deepening. Then she muttered "thankfully," before glancing back up at me, "you can cook, you can make an Okonomiyaki almost as well as I can," I grinned at that, "and you're not in school." I blanched at the mere suggestion.  
  
"The way I see it, if that other Ukyo could stay even, the two of us could clean this neighborhood out."  
  
"Except for the hellspawn-laden war zone over on the other side of the ward..." I said, quickly. Ukyo choked on her drink, and I grinned, before taking a sip of my coke and wondering whether or not Ukyo would be adamant about installing a soda machine.  
  
"So who else helped?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"The other Ukyo. You said she did it alone 'for the most part.' I'm assuming you meant she did have help at times."  
  
"Oh... that. Konatsu. A male Kunoichi-"  
  
"Kunoichi is feminine-"  
  
"I know, I know. But he is. A cross-dressing ninja who is actually really good, despite his shortcomings in acting... well... like a guy."  
  
"How good?"  
  
"I think he fought Ranma to a draw when they eventually fought... a mutual knock out? I'm not quite sure. But this was after you'd been introduced, meaning him then is better than you, now. So, pretty good."  
  
"I love how you sum up people's skills so scientifically," Ukyo said, making a face that meant she did everything but.  
  
"Whatever, anyway, you and Ranma rescued him from some familial hell, and he started working for you. Had a big crush on you, too, though you never noticed."  
  
"My other self being infatuated with that jackass, Saotome."  
  
"Well, like I said before, big difference in Ranmas."  
  
"Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, all Saotomes are only worth as much as their organs go for on the black market."  
  
"Geeze... Ukyo, how am I supposed to eat with you talking about stuff like that?"  
  
"I manage to," She said, taking a bite of her salad. Glancing down at my plate, I poked at the food gingerly with my chopsticks for a moment before digging in. Despite the way eel looks on a plate, it's extremely tasty. No matter how many times I told myself that, though, every time I caught sight of the orange-ish brown meat, I felt my appetite leaving.  
  
"So what'd I give this Konatsu character in return?"  
  
"Room and board, and a couple yen a week, I think."  
  
"A couple... ohh..." Ukyo said, frowning suddenly.  
  
"What's up?" I asked, not looking at my plate as I shoved more food in my mouth.  
  
"I'll need to pay you, too. I doubt you've got a giant, unreturned crush on me that lets me get away with shortchanging you every way possible, eh?"  
  
"Not quite." I said, glancing at the night sky outside.  
  
"Ukyo... how old are you?" I asked, suddenly. Despite knowing her for almost half a year now, I still wasn't sure how old she was.  
  
"Seventeen next... whoa!" She said, suddenly looking surprised.  
  
"Next...? Month? Year?"  
  
"Tomorrow!" She said, surprised.  
  
"Really? Guess I'll have to go find something for you tomorrow morning..." I mused.  
  
"Oh no you don't. Save your money" She said, threateningly. I just waved her off.  
  
"As if. I'd ask you your three numbers, but something tells me it'd be an exercise in futility at the moment. Fortunately, I got them a few weeks ago, in Okinawa, so I'll be sure to get you something nice to make up for some of the stuff we lost on the cart."  
  
"Kyle, if you do..." Ukyo said, frowning. I smiled, "Yes?"  
  
Ukyo's frown deepened, before she sighed, "Don't, please?"  
  
I sighed, "Fine... I won't SPOIL you, but you can't expect me not to get you anything. That'd be... wrong."  
  
"Just don't spend anything!"  
  
"Ukyo... when was the last time you had a friend get you a present for your birthday?"  
  
"What? I... umm..." She said, trailing off as she got a thoughtful look on her face. I sighed, and interrupted her musings.  
  
"Eleven years on the road doesn't give you much time to celebrate things like birthdays, now, does it? As your friend," I paused to quirk a brow at her, "I AM a friend, aren't I?" She nodded slightly, and I continued, "yes, as your friend, I think the least I could do for you is get you a little something to celebrate the day you were born."  
  
Ukyo sighed and took a sip of her drink, not meeting my eyes. I grinned, knowing she'd not press any more, and then popped the last bite of food in my mouth.  
  
Glancing up at the moon as we made our way back to our new home, I briefly considered the implications Ukyo's age brought to mind. Ukyo, Ranma and Akane were, in the original storyline, all in the same grade. If Ukyo is a Junior now, then Nabiki would be a senior, and therefore everything's skipped ahead a year.  
  
"Shouldn't make too big a difference..." I muttered, trying to think of anything that would have happened time-wise. Ranma and the Tendo's would be relatively normal, as would, I'd assume, the amazons...  
  
"Shit."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We need to be on our toes. I just realized that the main characters, the static ones, I suppose, will shift with the times like normal," I said, looking around before picking up my pace somewhat.  
  
"But?"  
  
"But all the attackers are random characters, and other nuisances might not shift ahead."  
  
"So? They'll be after Ranma, not us."  
  
"Yeah? Like the Gambling King?"  
  
"Oh... "  
  
"Yeah, judging by that response, I'll assume that means you dicked him over in this world, too."  
  
Ukyo nodded, and I unlocked the door to the restaurant while I continued, "in any case, even if most of them are coming for Ranma, being able to handle them in case they act unlike their counterparts is still the safest bet."  
  
"Well, what do you suggest we do? More training?"  
  
"I don't know..." I trailed off. Training? "Actually, Ukyo..." I looked at my hands, and wondered how much work I'd have to put into learning some of the more advanced techniques I knew about. I mean, with what I-  
  
"Kyle? Hello?" Ukyo called, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked then grinned.  
  
"We need supplies for a bonfire... and a bag of chestnuts..."  
  
--==--  
  
The next afternoon, I walked through a shopping center, glancing at the clothing on display and wondering what, exactly, to get Ukyo. While she'd probably want something traditional to cook in, buying outfits like that would best be left up to her. A dress, however...  
  
Ukyo had sworn off her femininity, but much like her counterpart, this Ukyo seemed to be having second thoughts about it. While she hadn't gone out dressed like she had that one evening back in Osaka, she hadn't gone out of her way to act masculine, like before. Buying her a dress might actually be a viable option.  
  
On the other hand-  
  
"Hey buddy. Got a light?" Someone asked nearby. Looking around, I realized I was surrounded by a group of kids that seemed to have found the question hilarious. Playing dumb, I grinned and shrugged, trying to step around the guy in front of me, who quickly moved to block my path.  
  
"Not so fast, friend," the punk to my right said, stressing the last word so that it sounded anything but friendly. Turning to him I frowned, before asking, "Can I help you?"  
  
The other kids seemed to find this just as funny, and after the laughter died down, the one who'd spoken before began talking again, "Big sister seems to think you'd be willing to contribute to her little fundraiser. I'd have to agree, you look like the kind of guy who'd empty his own pockets to help those who find themselves wanting."  
  
I blinked, surprised someone as dumb as this could say something so elegant, before I took a big breath, and laughed in the guys face. The others, obviously not expecting this, turned to the one who'd spoken, who had turned an interesting shade of red.  
  
"Don't just stand there!" he finally shouted, pointing at a nearby alley they probably had emerged from, and pushing me roughly. The others began shoving me, and I groaned to myself as I let them lead me into the narrow corridor, before turning around.  
  
"So, now what?" I asked, glancing at my watch. Two of the thugs advanced, doing their best to flank me and I sighed, leaping over the one on the left and pushing off the wall a moment later. Spinning, I tagged the guy in the back of the head with my foot, before stopping my flight with the other thud, who flew into the far wall and collapsed in a heap. Behind me, the first one I'd kicked stumbled, disoriented and I backed up a bit so I could keep him in sight.  
  
"So, you think you know a little karate, eh? Hiroe, show Mr. Kung-Fu here how impressed we are."  
  
A brown-haired kid stepped out of the crowd smirking, and I fell back into a fighting stance, while he made a show of stretching for his group-mates. Then he ran at me.  
  
"Stupid," I mumbled, spinning out of the way of a grab Ukyo had shown me the first week of training. As he passed, I countered like she'd shown me, bringing my foot up mid-spin and driving the heel between shoulder blades swiftly. Hiroe fell forward, off balance and in pain, a moment before his face connected with a fire-escape support beam, and he collapsed to the ground.  
  
"Okay... that was interesting." I said, turning to look at the other four. The leader started turning funny colors again, but before I could point it out to his posse, he screamed "Get him!" and the four charged me as one.  
  
A minute later, the leader stood, surrounded by the unconscious bodies of his friends, and looking a little purple, while nursing a limp arm.  
  
"Big sister's going to get you for this! She'll find out all your secrets and ruin you!" He shouted, before turning and running out of the alley and out of sight.  
  
"Riiight..." I said, staring at the 5 bodies lying around me. Shrugging, I bent over the first one, pulling his wallet free, and mumbled to myself, "So much to do, so little time..."  
  
--===--  
  
That evening, I gave Ukyo a wrapped box after she blew the candle out on a small cake I'd gotten her. Ukyo, despite her protests last night, was obviously enjoying herself, and with the money I'd... liberated, earlier, I left the shopping center with a gift, a cake, and more money than I'd entered it carrying.  
  
"Ahh!" Ukyo said when she pulled the box open. Inside was a sleeveless Chinese dress that shone like only silk could. It was royal blue at the shoulders, but the further down you went, the darker it got, until you got the midnight black base.  
  
"I wasn't quite sure what colors you'd look best in, so I decided to go for something close to what I already knew you liked wearing. If you don't like it, though, I've got the receipt, just I-"  
  
"Are you kidding? I love it! I..." she trailed off, looking at her reflection in the window, before smiling again, "I don't..." she said, finally, her eyes looking a little moist.  
  
I jumped to my feet, and put an arm around her, "hey, it's okay. I wasn't quite sure... We can take it back, and go over to the men's wear store across the way."  
  
Ukyo just shook her head, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "No, Kyle. I... I think it's okay. I made that vow a long time ago, and looking back, I..." She sat down in the chair, folding the dress carefully over her lap before continuing, "Well, It's a lot easier being a guy when you're a young girl than when you're grown up. You know?"  
  
I nodded, despite knowing nothing about being a young girl, or an older girl. Ukyo, however, caught on, and teasingly pushed me on the shoulder, a slight smile on her face.  
  
"Don't lie. I've seen you shave."  
  
I just nodded, and she took a deep breath, before letting it out slowly. When she was done, she fixed her gaze on the floor, and spoke quickly but evenly, "From now on, I'll do my best to be more feminine."  
  
I blinked, and then patted her on the back before dishing up a piece of cake for her. She took it and grinned, before taking a bite.  
  
"You know, I bet Ranma's going to kick himself when he realizes what he passed up all those years ago."  
  
"Kyle... please don't mention him on my birthday." Ukyo said, around a mouthful of cake. I gulped sheepishly and apologized, glancing at some of the items Ukyo had picked up during the afternoon.  
  
--===--  
  
The rest of the week went by swiftly, our money disappearing rapidly as the store below and apartment above filled with furniture and whatnot to run the planned business. The afternoons were spent organizing, connecting, setting up and preparing objects as they were delivered, while our evenings were spent sparring in the tiny back yard, or doing our best to remove chestnuts from a bonfire without burning our hands.  
  
"So, you never told me the name of this technique, or where you learned it," Ukyo said, a week after we'd celebrated her birthday. I blinked, realizing she was right, and then stared up at the cloudless night sky for a moment before answering.  
  
"Well, honestly, since it's basically a sort of speed-training that can be applied to punches, I figured it'd be better not to call it's name out before executing it, like Ranma always did."  
  
"Oh... so it's from that other Ranma story."  
  
"Yeah. It was an Amazonian Technique, which is the other reason I'm not telling you the name. If the Amazons do come, and witness us using this attack, we can pretend to have learned it from someone else, or we just managed to train up to this speed, instead of letting them know we stole it."  
  
"Well, that makes sense. Anything else in that head of yours we could learn?"  
  
"Well... There are things like Ryouga's signature move, and Ranma's most powerful move I saw the training to..."  
  
"What're those?"  
  
"Ehh," I said, wondering if Ukyo would want to go through with the Baksai Tenketsu once I told her, and unsure how we could lie our way out of knowing the Hiryuu Shoten Ha. Shrugging, I decided to describe both to her, and hope she'd be smart about deciding on them.  
  
"Well... that first one sounds painful," she said, slowly.  
  
I nodded, "it is."  
  
"But also somewhat handy, after all is said and done... and healed," she added, finally. I winced.  
  
"And the other?"  
  
"Well, both of those would be hard to hide or lie about," she said, after a moment's pause. I smiled despite myself, glad she'd seen the same problem I had with learning them. "However, an ultimate move like that could really save your ass in a pinch."  
  
I nodded, unable to deny that. Looking back at the fire, I spoke quietly, "We could start learning it, since it's learned in two parts..."  
  
"Yeah, I figured generating a cold battle aura would be something you trained for separately," Ukyo said.  
  
"Well, let's finish learning this, first, before we start anything new."  
  
"Alright. A couple more times, then we get to bed. Tomorrow is opening day."  
  
--===--  
  
Despite our less-than-stellar advertising, the Ucchan's first evening was packed, and Ukyo and I had our hands full making sure everything went as smoothly as possible. Having learned from Ukyo how to cook, I could have manned the grill, but Ukyo seemed happiest flipping Okonomiyaki, and I'd had enough experience serving tables back in the states to get things done quickly and efficiently.  
  
By the time the last customer left, Ukyo looked as exhausted as I felt, and we both collapsed across from each other at a table near the counter, finally able to get off our feet.  
  
"Whew. I forgot how taxing a lengthy rush was," I said, finally. Ukyo nodded, and then glanced at the register.  
  
"At least now I know moving here from Osaka was a good idea," Ukyo said, moments before the sound of automatic gunfire was heard outside. Rushing to the door, we both peered out at a JSDF Soldier talking into a walkie-talkie for a moment before hopping into a Militant-looking jeep.  
  
"What happened?" someone called out, voicing many unspoken thoughts.  
  
"Hellspawn got past the blockade. Don't worry, though, we got it. Go on about your business," the soldier replied, before driving off. I turned to Ukyo.  
  
"Yes. Moving to a neighborhood located beside a hellspawn-infested, blockaded war zone, with, I might add, an only partially successful barricade WAS a good idea."  
  
"Oh, shut up and help me clean up."  
  
--===--  
  
"You know... I get the feeling that there's something missing here..." Ukyo said, as she cleared the fire of all the chestnuts I'd dumped into it. I kicked them back in, and a moment later, she'd piled them back up where they'd rested a moment before.  
  
"So, do I have it?" she asked, looking up at me.  
  
"Looks like it," I said, wondering how much longer I'd have to work at it. Ukyo grinned, and I pointed to a training dummy we'd hastily erected, "Now that you can move your hand fast, you need to practice punching at those speeds instead of grabbing things out of a fire. Try hitting the same spot so you can get your accuracy up."  
  
"Yes, sensei," she said with a little grin before moving over towards it. Looking down at the chestnuts, I rolled my eyes and kicked them back into the fire, before starting to pluck them back out."  
  
The next day, I joined Ukyo with the dummy.  
  
--===--  
  
"Hey, Kyle?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"School is starting back up next week, and, well..." Ukyo looked at me, then the grill, and I shrugged.  
  
"What, are you asking for my permission?"  
  
"No. But I thought it best to let you know." She snapped, having missed my smirk and taking my question as barbed.  
  
"Sorry, Umm... So you want me to run things while you're there?" Ukyo nodded, and I agreed, turning back to the customer I'd been helping.  
  
The door slid open, and Ukyo called out her usual greeting, while I finished taking orders. Turning around, I just about bumped into the guests who'd just entered, then did a double take as I realized they were exceedingly familiar.  
  
"Ehh... Sorry," I said weakly, while the figure frowned at me before sliding into a booth along with the other two.  
  
Turning my back on them for a moment, I faked a cough, then made my way towards the back, snagging Ukyo, who yelped as she was swept out of the kitchen.  
  
"Those guests out there..." I said quietly. Ukyo poked her head out the door before I could stop her, then ducked back inside quickly, "The two guys and the cross-dressing girl?" she queried.  
  
"Yeah... that's Prince Herb, of the Musk, and Mint and Lime are his... err... retainers, I think he called them."  
  
"Prince? I told you, that's a girl."  
  
"He fell in the Nyanichuan, like Ranma did. Only his curse is-"  
  
"The what? Was that Chinese?" Ukyo asked. I blinked.  
  
"You mean... I never told you about Jusenkyo?" I stammered, realizing as I said it that, no, I'd neglected to bring that up in any of the conversations I can remember. When Ukyo shook her head, I buried my face in my hands.  
  
"What the hell? Is there something you've forgotten to tell me?" Ukyo asked, frowning. I patter her on the shoulder.  
  
"Not now, let me deal with them. We'll talk about it tonight." I said, darting back out to the table. A confused-sounding "okay" from behind me was all I heard from Ukyo before I smiled and took Herb's order.  
  
"Welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. My name is Kyle, and I'll be your host this afternoon."  
  
Herb frowned up at me before responding, "Do you normally greet people in English?" he asked, in the same language. There was a slapping noise behind me, and I turned to see Ukyo with her face buried in her hands, shaking with silent laughter.  
  
"Ack! Sorry," I said, reverting to Japanese, "first language and all. I was caught off-guard by your arrival. I wasn't expecting royalty."  
  
Herb blinked almost audibly, before responding, "You... know who I am?" Lime (or Mint, I wasn't sure who was who, having never actually read the manga) whispered something to Herb in what I assumed to be Chinese, who responded rapidly and harshly before turning back and awaiting my answer.  
  
"Well, I was merely guessing, as I'd never actually seen you before, but I'm right, aren't I?"  
  
Herb sighed, before confirming it, and I grinned, "Kickass. The meal's on me, your Highness. What'll it be?"  
  
"I'm not some poor bum off the street!" Herb said, his voice rising slightly.  
  
"I understand, but consider it my apology for bumping into you when you entered. As a martial artist, I should be more aware of my surroundings. It's the least I can do... at the moment."  
  
Herb nodded slightly, frowning at my final words briefly, before placing his order. Collecting their menus, I retreated to the drink bar, where Ukyo was giving me a rather funny look.  
  
"What the hell was that all about? And why are we feeding them?"  
  
"Herb's ancestor was a dragon... or didn't you notice his slit pupils, pointed ears, and pink hair?" I asked, while pouring their drinks.  
  
Ukyo glanced around me at Herb, before pouring the batter to make the trio's meal, "So she can breathe fire?"  
  
I snorted, trying my best to contain a laugh, before shaking my head, "Not quite... as far as martial artists go, Herb's a safe bet if you're choosing on who's the best in the world."  
  
"Her?"  
  
"Him. Trust me. If I can help him get what he wants, maybe he can help us out," I said, turning to deliver the beverages.  
  
Ukyo's hand darted out and snagged my sleeve, "Help us how?"  
  
Pulling my arm free, I grinned at her, "Trust me."  
  
As I walked away, I heard Ukyo mutter something about trust, and I chuckled as I set the drinks down before the three at the table.  
  
"What did you mean by that 'at the moment' comment before you left?" Herb asked, before I could walk away.  
  
"Oh? Stick around after the meal, and maybe I can help you with a problem your 'drying' to solve," I said in English. Herb stared at me for a moment, and then his eyes got wide. Before he could inquire about it, I held up my hand, "trust me."  
  
"You'd best know what you're talking about," Herb said, before turning to look out the window.  
  
A half hour later, Herb, Ukyo and I sat at a table, the Restaurant closed for a brief reprieve, and Lime and Mint out wandering the streets.  
  
"Why's she here?" Herb asked, giving Ukyo a discreet once-over. Ukyo opened her mouth to object, but I beat her to it.  
  
"Ukyo's my friend and partner."  
  
"And yet you had me send Lime and Mint away?" he asked, frowning.  
  
"Ukyo, also, is my equal, and therefore privy to any decisions I make concerning us, or this restaurant."  
  
"A Woman is y-"  
  
"You're a girl, too!" Ukyo said, hotly. Herb stiffened, and I sighed.  
  
"Ukyo, Herb is a guy. Just not at the moment. And if we'd stop this arguing, I'd like to help the Prince fix that problem."  
  
"So you say... I'd still like to know just how you know so much about me."  
  
"Err... I'm well informed?" I said with a disarming grin.  
  
"Hardly. Nobody, not even Mint and Lime, know about this," Herb replied.  
  
"Well if we can act fast, you can keep it that way, and nobody will be the wiser."  
  
"You know the location of the Liberating Pot?"  
  
"Err, yeah. That's what it's called?" I said, cluelessly. Herb growled, and I held up my hands again, grinning. "Just kidding. Yeah, I know where it's at, somewhat."  
  
"And yet I feel a condition is about to be set," herb said, frowning at Ukyo and I.  
  
"It's nothing extravagant or anything. Just some assistance in Martial Arts and the chance to get to know each other better."  
  
"Get to-" Herb said, scowling, "What do you mean?"  
  
Ukyo grinned a little, and I winked at her, before responding, "What I mean, Herb, is you drop the high-and-mighty act for a few days, and act like a normal teenager. We'll help, and, in the end, you can go back to your citadel, and remember the fun time you had back in Japan. Heck, you may even want to do it again some time."  
  
"And if I refuse?"  
  
"You're going to turn down a few days of fun and Martial Arts, and your cure?" I asked, looking at him like I'd misjudged his intellect by a large margin. Herb blinked, and then looked down at the ground.  
  
"I'm Royalty, though. I can't just... I'm not supposed to negotiate!"  
  
"Well, you could Kidnap Ukyo here, or threaten to kill me, or her, or us, or you could acquiesce and enjoy a few days with minimal responsibilities, while doing something you obviously enjoy; namely Martial arts."  
  
Ukyo was staring at me like I'd grown a second head, and Herb looked somewhat shocked that I'd suggested other ways to coerce the cure out of me, but finally sighed.  
  
"When you state the terms that way, I find it hard not to see it as anything else but agreeable. So be it. If your information is correct, and the cure is to be had, I'll assist you both for a week's time. Agreed?"  
  
"Well, you left out the 'having fun' and 'no high-and-mighty attitude' parts, but I suppose it'll work for me. How does the Musk Dynasty seal a deal?" I asked, unsure if shaking hands was appropriate.  
  
"There are many ways, however, shaking hands is fine by me, if you'd prefer."  
  
"Sounds good to me," I said, holding out my hand. Herb took it, and I did my best not to let it show when I felt bones start to grind. Giving as best I could, we broke off a moment later, and I smiled, hoping he'd turn around so I could shake my hand back into shape.  
  
"The location?"  
  
"To the Southwest, on Shikoku, I think, there's a mountain, Mount Horai. The tea-kettle shaped summit is what you're looking for."  
  
Herb blinked, and then grinned.  
  
"You... you're serious, aren't you?" she asked, suddenly looking more like an eager teenager than a somewhat-pompous prince. I nodded, and her grin grew.  
  
"I'll be back if it's there..." her smile fell, Herb's face reverting back to its emotionless look, "and if it's not, I'll return, as well."  
  
Before I could respond, Herb had disappeared out the door.  
  
"Kyle... I hope to hell, for both our sake, that that mountain is where you said it was."  
  
The rest of the day went by quickly, and finally we sat across from each other over green tea, the restaurant ready to open the next day.  
  
"So what's this Juicy-Cove thing you were talking about?" she asked in English. Occasionally, we would talk in one language or the other, instead of our own hybrid language, to help keep each other's skills up. Tonight, apparently, Ukyo wanted to reaffirm her abilities with English.  
  
"Well..." I said, slowly. She kicked me under the table, and I shot her a pained frown, before continuing, "'Jusenkyo' is a martial arts training ground, but a very dangerous one."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah, there are hundreds of pools there, with bamboo poles sticking up in the air, and you fight on the poles, avoiding being knocked off, and doing your best to knock your opponent off."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Well, I would assume so. Maybe aliens made it, and really, they set some sort of gravity generator up to the side, and you really swing from pole to pole like they were some sort of demented uneven bars."  
  
Ukyo stared at me for a moment, before shaking her head as if to rid herself of a stray thought, "What?!?"  
  
I grinned, and swirled my tea for a moment, until she kicked me again, and I started talking again.  
  
"Each pool there is cursed. In each one, a differed animal drowned in it, and now, whenever someone falls in, they take the shape of whatever drowned there."  
  
"But..." Ukyo said, looking at me suspiciously, "are you saying Herb fell into some sort of pool of drowned girl?"  
  
I reached across the table and patter her on the shoulder hard enough for the tea in her mug to dribble over the sides a little, "exactly!"  
  
Setting the mug down, she scowled at me, and I continued, so as to avoid more bruised shins.  
  
"After you fall in, hot water will reverse the curse, but only up until you get hit with cool water again."  
  
"So why does Herb-"  
  
"Ahh! I was just getting to that. Herb's people have this doohickey called a 'Locking Ladle' or something like that, which locks you in your cursed form. Herb was splashed... err..." I paused, not exactly sure how he got locked in his curse, before shrugging it off. "Well, somehow, and now, he's looking for a cure."  
  
"And you gave it to him?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Oh. Well... I guess... wait... didn't you say Ranma..." Ukyo's face paled, and then she started laughing. Hard.  
  
Scooting back, I watched as her laughter overturned both our mugs as she slapped her fist into the table. Getting up and grabbing a towel from the counter, I came back, her laughter finally turning into gasps for air. Wiping tears from her eyes, I smiled at her as I soaked up the spilt tea, which had managed somehow to miss both of us and drip on the floor.  
  
"So THAT'S why it was called Ranma One-half," she said between breaths. I nodded, and she chuckled, one arm wrapped around her middle while she wiped her eyes again with the other.  
  
When Ukyo had regained her composure, I handed her a fresh cup of tea, and briefly described the characters of Ranma to her.  
  
"Kyle, why don't you just tell me the whole story?" she asked when I was finished.  
  
"Well," I said, taking a sip of tea and wondering how much more sugar I could sneak into it, "I really haven't told you because I don't want both of us making mistakes based on that alternate universe."  
  
Ukyo frowned at me, "is that the only reason?"  
  
"Well..." I sighed, "No... I also thought it'd be best if I didn't tell you, because, as a character, your opinion might be a bit biased, compared to... well... mine."  
  
"So you're saying you're totally objective in this?" she asked, looking at me funny.  
  
"Absolutely not. Knowing the characters as well as any fan of the series, it'd be impossible not to choose a favorite." Suddenly realizing what I'd just admitted, I turned my gaze to the bottom of my cup and hoped-  
  
"Favorite," Ukyo said softly, before speaking up, "you mean, you liked me? Before we met?"  
  
Yep. The bottom of my cup was looking really interesting. Pity it disappeared as Ukyo pushed it out of the way and got right up in my face.  
  
"Kyle."  
  
"Err... What was the question?"  
  
Ukyo frowned, and I closed my eyes, releasing a heavy sigh.  
  
"Alright. Yeah. I liked you. I didn't have a crush on you or anything... no dolls or anything creepy like that, but of all Ranma's fiancées, you showed the most restraint and intelligence when dealing with all the situations being within ten miles of him brought."  
  
"So, this other me wasn't too unlike me," Ukyo said, quietly. I shook my head.  
  
"She was a lot like the you I saw when I first walked into your Restaurant... and into your life. Since then, however, I think I've had a... an influence on you. You're a lot different than the Ukyo of Season Three, episode One."  
  
"So... wait... then that first real conversation, when you first brought up Ranma..."  
  
"I was trying to help you get him... or at least prepare you for everything, so you'd go into Nerima with a cool head."  
  
"You could have had anything and everything, if this had been that other universe, and your first priority was to help me?"  
  
"Well, no, my first priority was to secure some food and money and lodging. After that, though, well..." I trailed off, staring down at the table.  
  
When Ukyo failed to respond, I glanced up, about to ask her what she thought. I froze, however, when I saw the tears streaming down her face.  
  
"U-Ukyo?"  
  
"Kyle, I- I..." she folded, then, burying her face in her hands, and I winced as the first loud sob escaped her. I'd seen the occasional tear during our camping trip, and there'd been one night where she'd cried out in her sleep, waking me up, but this was the first time since Osaka that she'd cried in front of me.  
  
I moved over to pat her on the back, then froze as she lunged the moment I touched her shoulder, knocking me to the floor and holding me as she cried.  
  
"..." I opened my mouth to say something, and then snapped it shut as I reconsidered. Pulling her up, I wrapped my arms around her slowly, unsure whether or not that was what she really needed/wanted, before slowly rocking her as she cried. Catching our distorted reflection in the stainless steel door of the refrigerator, I sighed, unsure of how to get Ukyo upstairs to her room, and off the cold tile floor. I blinked. At some point, Ukyo must have fallen asleep. I glanced at the clock on the wall and blanched, realizing we'd been on the floor for a good 15 minutes, and I'd not even realized it.  
  
Shifting slightly, I groaned as pins-and-needles shot up and down both legs. Doing my best to scoop Ukyo up, made my way slowly and unsteadily towards the apartment above, hoping my numb and wobbly legs could manage something as complex as stairs in their current state. Finally I entered Ukyo's room, and quickly made my way over to her bed, wincing as each step brought with it the flaming pins-and-needles that let me know my legs didn't appreciate having their circulation cut off.  
  
Setting Ukyo gently on her bed, I turned to go, before pausing in the doorway. While she was obviously exhausted physically and mentally, Ukyo'd be rather grumpy if she found she'd been wearing her work clothes. Blushing as the option of changing her myself BRIEFLY crossed my mind, I decided to wake her just long enough to change. But before I did that, I shut off her alarm clock.  
  
--===--  
  
At a quarter past noon, Ukyo shambled into the kitchen, poking her head out just long enough to call me before ducking inside. Handing the customer I'd been dealing with his change, I tossed the finished Okonomiyaki across the room, to land perfectly before the woman who'd ordered it, before ducking into the back room with a grin.  
  
The next moment I walked back out, feeling my face burn. I knew Ukyo wasn't denying her femininity anymore, but I hadn't expected her to greet me in a sports bra and daisy dukes, either. Backing back into the room, staring at the ceiling like it was suddenly the most amazing bit of architecture ever, I asked, "Shouldn't you get, you know... DRESSED, before coming downstairs?"  
  
"Relax, I'm about to throw my uniform on. I just... I wanted to thank you for last night. And letting me sleep in this morning. And... well... everything."  
  
"I didn't really do much. I mean, I suppose I did. Have. Whatever, but, I mean-"  
  
"We can talk about it more after the lunch rush... there are still some things I want to know, but, trust me. You've done a lot more than I gave you credit for... probably more than I even know about now."  
  
I didn't say anything, unsure exactly how to respond to that. There was the brief sound of rushing air, and when I glanced over my shoulder, she was gone, back upstairs. Blinking at the now-empty room, I sighed.  
  
"Girls... just when they start making sense, they don't."  
  
--===--  
  
"So, what's up?" I asked, that afternoon during our regular dead time.  
  
"Umm... actually..." Ukyo said, sounding somewhat nervous, "I don't... well..."  
  
"Mmmhmm?"  
  
"As conceited as it sounds, I was wondering... well..." Ukyo was fidgeting nervously and staring at the floor intently. I suppressed a chuckle, but couldn't help grinning.  
  
"You want to know about your fans?"  
  
An almost imperceptible nod was the only reply I got, so I started talking again, deciding to start with all the Fiancées.  
  
"Well, there are two pre-arranged marriages, and one foreign-law-based marriage. Not to mention a psycho who just assumes Ranma loves her... Everyone else is pretty much window dressing."  
  
"So who's the most popular?"  
  
"Well... There really isn't one that I can see. A lot of people like the series, and nobody can question everyone and get a solid, worldwide-vote, so..."  
  
"Well what do you think?"  
  
"Me? I think the fans that value intellect the most prefer Nabiki. A mix of intelligence and loyalty would get you, a preference for looks and... well... what those looks and marriage implies, they'd prefer Shampoo..."  
  
"And the others?"  
  
"Hmm... Akane is reputed as being sweet when she's not in a rage... I dunno... guys who like being hit?" I shrugged, before continuing, "Akane's Akane. And... err... She tends to have fans, but as to WHY, when there are, to me, better choices, well... that's beyond me."  
  
"Probably why you don't see her as the best choice," Ukyo said, evenly. I started laughing.  
  
"That's most definitely a reason. As for Kodachi," I said straightening up, "Well... I know some people out there like her, but with that laugh, the sideways ponytail, the obsession with drugs, and the slitted, aristocratic "I'm-better-than-you" gazes... AND attitude, She's got a snowballs chance in hell of moving out of the 'fat chance' category."  
  
"A little harsh, don't you think?"  
  
"If you met the Kodachi from the story, you'd agree with me," I replied, shuddering. Sure, she was a good catch in the fics where she got special help, but as for the regular, unadulterated Kodachi? No thanks.  
  
"So, Nabiki attracts the head, I attract the heart, Shampoo attracts the... err... you know... eyes. And Akane... Akane attacks the body?"  
  
I started laughing hard. "Got it in one," I squeezed out between breaths.  
  
"So what do the fans do?" Ukyo asked when I had finished laughing.  
  
"Well, for the most part, look for similarly-interested people to talk to about... well, similar interests."  
  
"So you know other fans of mine?"  
  
"Well, I did. And they were really fans of the other Ukyo... though being here I'd be hard pressed to choose her over you."  
  
Ukyo blushed, and I chuckled before continuing, "Most of my friends did see you as the best choice, or second best... I think. I'm pretty sure."  
  
"You're not certain?" She asked, though I could tell by the look on her face that she didn't mind.  
  
"Well, it's a little late to go ask, so I'll just have to trust my instinct. Aside from that, there were Web Pages, fanfics and pics-"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Web... oh. Wow, its soo... Ohh!" I said, realizing it was '95, now.  
  
"We need a computer! And a stock portfolio... I think."  
  
"We... what? What the hell does a computer have to do with a stock portfolio?" Ukyo asked, looking confused.  
  
"Well, we don't really need one, though I bet it could definitely help with handling our supplies and finances and everything."  
  
"We do pretty well with a pen and paper, I thought..." Ukyo said, sounding reluctant to give up a 'tried-and-true' method.  
  
"Trust me, by 2004, everyone has a computer. BUMS can't exist without knowing how to type."  
  
"Ahh... 2004?"  
  
"Oh... err... yeah. That was the year before I, err... appeared."  
  
"You mean, you don't only know the future, but, well... the rest of the world's future, too?"  
  
"Well, My world's future. Err... history. Or... umm... future's history?" I blanked out momentarily as I tried to describe what I knew. Ukyo saved me by shaking her head and speaking.  
  
"Well, if there are parallels... is that why you wanted that stock portfolio?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean, there's no reason to assume everything would change, right? So if I can get a good look at the guts of 'today's modern' computers, I can invest in a couple companies I know will still be around in nine years."  
  
"But... How can you be sure?"  
  
"Simple. I'll do some research. Either in the web or at a library."  
  
"Lib... Oh!" Ukyo said, suddenly, before dashing upstairs.  
  
"..." I said, wondering what the rush was. A moment later she dashed by me on her way out the door.  
  
"Entranceexamsarestartinggottagobebacksoonwatchtheplacebye!"  
  
Staring at the customer who'd just walked through the door, I sighed, and moved behind the grill to start on her order.  
  
--===--  
  
When Ukyo returned, I was glaring at the little radio we'd installed, and mumbling about the two-year wait I'd have before hearing One Winged Angel again.  
  
"Well, I'm in," she said, cheerfully. I nodded, sliding away from the grill as she moved behind it after washing her hands.  
  
"Congrats," I replied, wondering if I could pick up the FFVI OST, and convince Ukyo to get a CD player. One Winged Angel might not be available, but Kefka's Theme was memorable enough.  
  
"I also managed to kill one of those shambling hellspawn on the way back," she declared, nonchalantly.  
  
"That's-" I paused, "what?"  
  
"Yeah, it was over by the school."  
  
"What happened?" I asked, excited despite myself. Had she used the KTA?  
  
"Well, it was about to attack this girl when I stopped it, and after a brief fight, I sliced its head off."  
  
"... just like that?" I said, evenly.  
  
"Well, no, it took quite a few hits before it would hold still, but after I started using that fast-punch thing, I got a good swing in with my spatula."  
  
"Kickass!" I said, earning a curious look from the customers. Chuckling nervously, I turned back to Ukyo and, in more hushed tones, "I'm glad it worked so well for you. When Herb gets back... well... if he comes back cured, we can start working on other moves."  
  
Ukyo was looking at me funny, and I realized with a start that we were inches away from each other's face, and most of the talking had died down. Feeling every customer's eyes on us, I jerked my head back, into one of the cabinets Ukyo had installed, before collapsing behind the counter with a groan.  
  
"Are you okay," she asked, somewhat red herself. I held the back of my head, feeling a bump rising, and muttered, "Just say no to embarrassing situations..."  
  
After getting some ice for the swelling, Ukyo and I returned to our work, finally collapsing at the table we subconsciously seemed to have designated as our evening chat-table.  
  
"So how's the head," Ukyo asked, eyes twinkling.  
  
"Fine. Nothing a bit of sleep won't fix."  
  
Ukyo nodded, and I stood up, shambling off towards the stairs.  
  
"Tomorrow," I said over my shoulder, "After the lunch rush, I'll go see what I can find out about the computer industry. Can you handle things without me?"  
  
"The other me handled this place alone for months, right?" Ukyo asked, sounding somewhat annoyed that I suggested she couldn't.  
  
Turning in the doorway, I replied, "The other Ukyo had fewer tables, and less customers. And I've come close to being swamped a couple times, so don't get too cocky."  
  
"Oh..." She said, after a moment's pause.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do fine. I don't doubt you, just letting you know I'd be out for a bit tomorrow."  
  
"Okay." Ukyo said, finally. Giving a little wave and a "goodnight," I made my way upstairs and into my room for the evening.  
  
--===--  
  
The rest of the week went by similar to the past two days, Ukyo and I leaving every other afternoon for her school and my research. Finally, Sunday morning, we both slept in, having decided on taking a break after nearly a month of work.  
  
"So! You start school tomorrow, and I get to invest in Intel... what're we going to do today?" I said, pouring myself a glass of Coke, at which Ukyo frowned, the idea of soda in the morning anathema to her.  
  
"Well, we could go for a stroll along the barricade, or the canal..."  
  
"Sounds rather mundane... And after walking to Tokyo from Osaka, by way of Okinawa, well..."  
  
"Okay, then. There's that Ice skating rink..."  
  
"Not unless you want to be pulled into some demented martial arts match," I said, quickly. Ukyo blinked, and then turned towards the window.  
  
"Do YOU have any ideas?"  
  
"Sure. Let's go to the beach."  
  
"The beach?"  
  
"The beach. Back in Florida, the water was always a brackish-brown, with the blue water out a good kilometer or so. And there were no Palm trees."  
  
"What does blue water and Palm trees have to do with anything?"  
  
"Aesthetics," I said, disappearing into the back room.  
  
"Where are you going?" She said, following me a moment later.  
  
"To grab my wallet. I need to pick up a swim suit... and unless you want to swim in panties and a bra, you need to get one, too."  
  
Ukyo swung at me, and I ducked under her arm, sliding out the door and down the stairs as she grabbed her money and followed. Making our way towards the shopping center, taking our time as we went, I glanced at Ukyo, who looked somewhat unsure of herself.  
  
"Something on your mind?"  
  
"Nothing, really. Just... thinking," she replied quickly. Shrugging it off, I turned a corner and ran right into someone, knocking the two of us to the ground.  
  
"Sorry, sorry," I said, flipping to my feet and offering the girl a hand up. Slapping my hand away, she climbed to her feet, dusting herself off gently before turning an irked glare at me.  
  
"This idiot took you down?"  
  
Frowning, I took a closer look at the girl, then gasped softly as I realized it was Nabiki, her hair a bit longer than usual, and wearing a face that screamed 'contempt for the world at large.'  
  
"Yes, Big sister," someone said behind me. Turning, I spotted the gang leader from the other week, and waved, "howdy."  
  
"You, Mr..." Nabiki said, trailing off. I waited patiently, deciding not to give her my name just yet, and her gaze deepened, before she continued, "... have something of mine."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes, a certain... donation, my companion here had helped collect for," she smiled, though with her eyes still glaring, it served better to show off her teeth, "a charity."  
  
"I spent it. Sorry." I said, turning to go. Ukyo moved to follow, but found herself blocked by a girl who stepped in her way. After a quick glance, I realized it was Akane. Apparently here she was some sort of enforcer for Nabiki. Suddenly, Akane's eyes narrowed, matching her sister's gaze quite well.  
  
"You! You're the girl that killed my hellspawn!"  
  
"YOUR hellspawn?" Ukyo asked, surprised. Then her eyes widened in recognition, "Hey! You're that girl I saved. That thing was going to tear you apart!"  
  
"It wouldn't have gotten one rotting hand on me before I'd caved its skull in. If you hadn't butted in, I'd have killed it in another minute!"  
  
"Well well," Nabiki said, interrupting both of them. I turned around to see that two somewhat-familiar men had stepped out behind Nabiki, and opened my mouth to warn her, when one of them placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Nabiki, are these the two...?"  
  
"Apparently." She responded, her eyes glinting harshly in the sunlight. Suddenly, one of the men gasped, and I sighed, realizing why they had looked somewhat familiar.  
  
"Those are the two from the hotel!"  
  
I turned to Ukyo, who'd said the same thing thug-on-the-left had said, and she blushed, before dropping into a martial arts stance. Following her lead, and hoping Ukyo and I could handle these five, I froze as one of the thugs pulled one of those dart-tazers out of his jacket, and grinned, aiming it at me.  
  
"I'd suggest, to both of you, that you give me all your money and go cooperatively with my two... associates," Nabiki said, grinning.  
  
"And if we don't?" Ukyo asked, hesitantly. Hearing glass break behind me I turned, spotting the rest of the gang I'd beaten approach, muttering to each other and occasionally laughing at what one had to say to the other.  
  
"That's a little unfair, don't you think?" I asked, wondering if I could snatch the dart-tazer out of the thug's hand before he could pull the trigger.  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Nabiki said, holding out her hand, "Your wallets, please. And no funny business, you're surrounded, outnumbered, and with Akane here, outclassed."  
  
"Willing to put your money where your mouth is?" I said, earning a shocked glance from Ukyo.  
  
"Always. But since you're not going to have any money in a moment, I won't be able to collect... still, since you seem eager to have your legs broken, and your arms and probably a few ribs... After I've got your money, you can let Akane thrash you a bit."  
  
"Right..." I muttered, glancing at Akane, who cracked her knuckles while giving me an unpleasant and hungry grin.  
  
"So, wallets?" Nabiki said, holding out her hand again. Glancing at Ukyo, who was looking back at me with a questioning glance, I shrugged, and pulled my wallet out, handing it over. Ukyo looked shocked for a moment, then sighed and did the same. Nabiki quickly pulled all the cash out of Ukyo's, then looked through the paper and cards inside, before tossing the wallet over her shoulder like it was garbage. Opening mine, she removed the money, giving me a surprised glance when she saw the hundred-dollar bill, before flipping through my cards with a suspicious glance. Stopping at one, I saw her frown intensify, and then disappear as she saw something that must have surprised her.  
  
Turning around, she spoke quickly to the two thugs, who responded quietly, before turning back to me.  
  
"What's the meaning of this card?" she asked, holding up my driver's license.  
  
"It's a Driver's License. Next stupid question."  
  
"You're American, then." she said, a statement, not a question. Then she pointed, "Why is the issue date two years from now?"  
  
I paused, unsure of how to answer that.  
  
"I... ahh..." I stuttered. "I like to plan ahead?"  
  
"No. I think not. Fighters like you don't have the mental capacity to plan for the here-and-now, much less ahead," she spat, throwing the rest of the wallet and its contents on the ground, and holding the card up.  
  
"I'll keep this as well... see if my friends can work on recreating them for... profitable reasons."  
  
"There's a hologram," I said, hoping to stall her. I didn't have a plan, but I figured it'd be better to talk than fighting Akane.  
  
"Yes, I can see that, you idiot. That's why I'm going to start working on it now. Understand? Akane, show Mr. Boitet here some of that 'Tendo" hospitality."  
  
"No problem," Akane said, shoving Ukyo harshly out of the way.  
  
"Hey!" Ukyo cried as she struck the pavement. I frowned at Akane, dropping back into a fighting stance, "Try to hurt me all you want, but leave Ukyo out of this."  
  
"Oh? Did you not hear me?" Nabiki asked, her arms crossed in amusement, "I said you can let Akane thrash you. Fight back and little Miss Kuonji here is going to find out what it's like to kiss a power line."  
  
The thug with the tazer had turned to aim at Ukyo, and I winced as I realized that, with Ukyo on the ground, and me 20 feet away, neither of us could disarm him before he fired. Dropping my arms and straightening up, I turned to Akane.  
  
"Your move."  
  
"Damn straight it is. Take THIS!" her fist blurred out, and I dodged instinctively, the fist passing overhead, a moment before her foot buried itself in my gut. I fell to my knees, the air apparently not liking my lungs at the moment, and felt a breeze as Akane's other foot passed through the space my head had just vacated.  
  
"Oh, stand up," Akane said, kicking me in the side just enough to feel bones creak in protest. Sucking in air, I stumbled to my feet, suddenly realizing that Baksai Tenketsu training might not be such a bad idea after all.  
  
"Welcome to Nerima, Mister Boitet. Miss Kuonji." Nabiki said, before laughing. The two Yakuza thugs and Nabiki's gang started laughing as well, and Akane smirked as she grabbed my shirt and hauled me off my feet.  
  
"And now, it's time to break stuff," she said, grabbing my wrist.  
  
There was a brief flash of light, and suddenly Nabiki and the two thugs were sent flying, though all three climbed to their feet a moment later.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Nabiki screeched, as Ukyo leapt back. The thug with the tazer was holding his hand, which looked bloody and broken, and Akane was gaping at the three like they had purposefully interrupted her. Deciding that now was as good a time as any, I twisted, bringing my heel up, around, and in, to drive into Akane's kidney at high speed. Her grip on my shirt disappeared, and I fell back into a crouch while she stumbled around, back arched, and tears in her eyes.  
  
"Two against nine... hardly fair odds." Someone said. Everyone looked around, the voice having echoed and come from seemingly all around, and finally, from the alley the two Yakuza had stepped out of earlier, a tall, exotic looking man walked out, glaring at Nabiki who actually stepped back involuntarily.  
  
"Now... three against nine is still unfair..." the figure turned to look at me, and I gasped as I recognized the slitted eyes, and exotic bracers, "in our favor."  
  
"It doesn't matter how many little explosives you have. You're still outnumbered!" Akane said, glaring at me and crouching like she was about to pounce.  
  
"Oh?" Herb asked, holding his hand out. A ball of Ki grew from nothingness there, and he flung it at the gang I'd beaten before, scattering them before the shock and surprise wore off.  
  
"What the hell?" Nabiki said. The two Yakuza were backing off slowly, and Akane growled, "Fancy tricks and pyrotechnics are no match for real martial arts!"  
  
I snickered, and she turned and pounced at me, seething. Ukyo ran towards the alley the two thugs had ducked into, and Herb turned to Nabiki, arms crossed.  
  
Falling back and planting my foot into her stomach as she passed overhead, I push Akane up and ahead on her way, and she sailed into a wall with a thud, before collapsing.  
  
"That was..." I said, turning to Herb. He nodded, turning towards the Alley Ukyo had taken off for. Nabiki was nowhere in sight, and I turned to Herb, "Can you go make sure Ukyo's alright? I have to find Nabiki."  
  
Herb pointed and I nodded, taking off that way as he followed Ukyo.  
  
Jumping to a low rooftop without thinking about how impossible it was, I leapt in the direction Herb had indicated, spotting Nabiki running below me a moment later. Leaping a building ahead of her, I dropped as she cam closer, landing directly in her way. Not looking where she was going, Nabiki crashed into me, while I barely moved, having braced for the impact.  
  
"Watch where the fu-" Nabiki said, her mouth falling open when she saw me.  
  
I held out my hand "Your wallet."  
  
Nabiki scowled at me. "All I have to do is scream and you're deported..." she said, climbing to her feet.  
  
"All I have to do is tell them about how you tried to steal my money, and make counterfeit foreign IDs, and the charges'd be dropped..."  
  
"You have no proof."  
  
"Neither do you, but Ukyo and Herb will testify in my defense... and I'm fairly certain PRINCE Herb will be able to counter pay any official you or your suited friends try to bribe."  
  
"That guy's a prince?" Nabiki asked, her eyes suddenly glinting.  
  
"He's also my friend, and despite his help just now, he probably still feels he owes me. You've threatened his friends, and, well... let's just say turning him against me isn't likely. Now... Your wallet?"  
  
Nabiki grumbled, pulling out a (stolen) wad of bills, wrapped around my license. Pocketing the wad, I kept my hand out, "Wallet?"  
  
"I just gave you eve..." she trailed off, realization dawning. "You wouldn't..."  
  
"I would. And when I'm done here, all your friends lying on the ground back there? They'll be charged for ruining my day as well."  
  
"Charged for-" she said, before laughing slightly. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small wallet and held it out to me.  
  
"I was wrong about you, Boitet. You may have a head on your shoulders, after all. Why don't we-"  
  
"Work together?" I snapped, snatching the wallet from her hand too fast for her to see. She flinched, and I opened it, pulling out most of the bills.  
  
"You're... not taking it all?"  
  
I pulled another bill out of her wallet, "No, but I'm charging for each question answered..."  
  
"What!?" She shouted, before clamping a hand over her mouth. I grinned, pulling another bill out.  
  
"Well, this was the charge for ruining my day, and these are for those questions. And this last bill if my fee for making me carry around so much cash... after I liberate it from your less-than-stellar friends back where I left them."  
  
If looks could kill, I'd be cinders floating in the wind as I tossed Nabiki back her now-empty wallet. Turning to walk away, I paused, "You know, while I'm turning down your offer, I could suggest a truce... you leave me alone, and I'll leave you alone... fair enough?"  
  
"You just stole all my money and want me to just drop it like it's nothing?"  
  
"Well, I could tell everyone about it, ruining your reputation, before going to the police and informing them of your activities anyway... but I'm feeling charitable."  
  
"If you're feeling so charitable, I have a great-"  
  
"I think not. Do we have a deal?"  
  
"For the moment... yes," Nabiki mumbled, grudgingly.  
  
I smiled, "What was that? Herb's Ki bomb played hell with my ears. You'll have to speak up."  
  
"Yes, damn you! We have a deal. Now go before I do something-"  
  
"You'll regret, yeah yeah... Nice doing business with you Tendo," I waved, before jumping onto the roof of a nearby building and darting back to Herb and Ukyo.  
  
--===--  
  
"So I take it you found what you were looking for?" I said, landing by Herb and Ukyo, who were talking over the unconscious bodies of the two Yakuza thugs.  
  
"Yes, your direct- what are you doing?" Herb said, as I bent down to empty their wallets.  
  
""Kyle always does this... why do you do it?" Ukyo said, her explanation dissolving into curiosity."  
  
"Well, I told Nabiki this is what I planned on doing, and I like to keep my word. And, well, they intended to do the same to us, right before they beat us to within an inch of our lives, so I figured why not return the favor."  
  
Ukyo gaped at me, "you're going to-"  
  
'No! I'm not like that... and from the looks of how you handled these two, neither are you. No, they're defeated, and now they have to pay up."  
  
"So you honor your word and do a dishonorable thing?" Herb asked, sounding somewhat confused still.  
  
"Look, these are bad people. If this money isn't stolen, then it's been made illegally, which is just as bad. So it's not like I'm stealing from a priest or anything. If it makes you feel better, though, I'll turn the money in at a police box and say I found it lying on the sidewalk. Since it probably came from a dozen people's pockets, it'll sit in an envelop for days until the city uses it."  
  
"Well, when you put it that way," Ukyo mumbled, making her way over to the fallen gang.  
  
"Glad you understand," I muttered, glancing over at Akane, before asking Ukyo to attend to her.  
  
A few minutes later the three of us arrived in the Restaurant, and, after locking the door behind us, we sat at the table, Ukyo and I feeling the adrenaline bleed off, and Herb looking prideful.  
  
"So, my directions were right?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Boitet, the kettle was where you directed me."  
  
"Keen. Call me Kyle. Can I call you Herb? Or should I still call you Lord Herb?" I said, carefully. Herb looked thoughtful for a moment, and then sighed.  
  
"As per our agreement, you may call me Herb for the duration."  
  
"Nice to meet you Herb. I'm Ukyo" Ukyo said, sticking out her hand. Herb blinked, then took it, shaking slowly. Ukyo grinned, and Herb blushed slightly before turning back to me.  
  
"How did you know, though? I almost dismissed your suggestion, had I not run out of options myself."  
  
"Well..." I looked at the ceiling, "it's a long story," Ukyo and I said at the same time.  
  
"I've a week here, as agreed... certainly it doesn't take a week to tell," Herb insisted. I sighed.  
  
"I will tell you, me, or Ukyo... just not yet. Some things are a bit hard to believe, and I don't want you to think I'm lying when I'm not."  
  
Herb looked to Ukyo, who nodded softly, and he nodded, "very well."  
  
"Don't be so glum, Herb. Let's go out back, and we can show us how much we know, so you know where to start in helping us get better."  
  
Ukyo looked at me funny, and I smiled back. Herb, missing the brief exchange, nodded. "Understandable. While nowhere near my level, you both showed some small degree of skill earlier."  
  
Ukyo frowned, but I waved at her to calm down.  
  
"Herb... not to stroke your ego or anything, but even if I knew every person on the planet, I'd be able to count on my thumb the number of people capable of beating you head-to-head without being sneaky. And even then, with one, it'd be damn close. More luck than skill."  
  
Herb straightened up slightly, and Ukyo suppressed a groan. Making our way out back, Ukyo turned to Herb, "how'd you prefer we do this? Kata, sparring each other, or one-on-one with each of us separately."  
  
"Both of you come at me together, actually."  
  
Ukyo looked at me with a surprised expression, and I shrugged, turning towards him, "Well, just to voice it aloud, this is a friendly match... no Ki blasts, no lethal moves, finished when Ukyo and I both submit or are Knocked out, or... err.. if Herb is."  
  
Herb started laughing, then stopped, his mirth gone in an instant, "begin!"  
  
Ukyo and I leapt as one, Ukyo bringing her spatula down in an over hand swing, while I landed short, and dropped into a sweep. Herb twisted in the air, rolling horizontally in the air, and Ukyo's spatula missed, barely missing my own head, while my foot passed under him. By the time I'd straightened up, Ukyo was swinging rapidly with the spatula, slicing through the air to build up speed, then twisting it at the last minute to bring the flat side up for a blunt impact, instead of a potentially deadly slice. Herb danced around the spatula, often dancing around Ukyo as well, the whole time avoiding turning his back to me.  
  
I leapt again, Timing my dropkick so that I'd land outside of Ukyo's range even if I missed, and that's exactly what happened as Herb seemed to change direction in the air and land out of range. Ukyo suddenly slung her battle spatula and lunged, the two of us launching out high speed punches at the same time, from almost opposite sides. No matter where we aimed, however, we hit air, and after a moment, I stopped, Ukyo still going for a moment before she dropped her arm with a frown.  
  
Tossing a pair of mini spatulas to me, Ukyo pulled two out herself, and brandished them like knives, which, I'd learned, they word as quite well. Ukyo and I continued to attack, hitting air, afterimages, and oftentimes the training dummy, but never touching, or getting touched by Herb, who looked like he was getting bored.  
  
"Okay, New strategy," I said, tossing my spatulas over my shoulder, where they stuck in the training dummy's chest like throwing knives. Leaping at Herb, I began another high-speed barrage, but a moment into, I stopped consciously aiming, and began throwing punches in all directions, aiming at random. Ukyo, realizing my intentions, dropped her spatulas, and joined me, littering the air with fists. Herb weaved as fast as before, but suddenly, I felt something solid under my fist, and froze, Ukyo doing the same.  
  
Looking up, I saw Ukyo's fist planted in Herb's jaw, while my fist was squarely lodged in his sternum. Ukyo looked amazed that she'd tagged him, and suddenly grinned at me. Smiling back, I didn't realize the air was getting a bit stuffy, until suddenly Ukyo and I were thrown back by a single sweep of Herb's arm. Climbing quickly to my feet, I looked at the Prince, who looked outraged that we'd managed to tag him.  
  
"Uh-oh..." Ukyo said, a moment before Herb appeared in her face. I blinked as I watched Ukyo back slowly up, under a hail of strikes almost too fast to see, then I leapt at Herb's back, hoping to distract him.  
  
A moment later, I was thrown into the wall by either an arm or a leg (I couldn't tell, it was going to fast) and then Herb was standing before me, Ukyo lying unconscious across the way. Climbing to my feet, I didn't even have time to groan before I was on the defensive, blocking attacks that I could barely see, and receiving hits that were too fast to react to at all. Realizing Ukyo'd just gone through the same thing, and that if I didn't fight back, I'd eventually loose no matter what, I clenched my teeth and began the last flurry of high speed punches I could, in both arms.  
  
Blocking punches with punches, kicks with punches, and doing my best to tag Herb one more time, I felt my arms burn with the effort of keeping up the attack, and could feel my heart beating like it was trying to get out of my ribcage and run away. Finally, I got one lucky hit in, and froze, my fist resting against Herb's stomach, but apparently too underpowered to do more than earn me a sneer. Then everything went black.  
  
--===--  
  
The morning sun shining through the window slowly brought me back to consciousness, and with it, tactile sensations returned; the softness of the sheets, the blanket gently pressing down on me, the warm body in my arms, the-  
  
Opening my eyes, I looked down to find Ukyo and I in a rather compromising embrace, in Ukyo's bed. A slight groan alerted me to the fact that Ukyo was close to waking up, and she mumbled something, before giving me a squeeze and burying her face in my chest as if to hide from the sunlight. Suddenly she tightened up, muscles everywhere tensing, before she tentatively gave me a squeeze.  
  
"Err... Ukyo?" I said, doing my best not to move. She took a deep breath, and I braced myself for the scream, but it never came. Finally cracking one eye open, I glanced down at her, as she stared up at me.  
  
"Umm... I can explain?" I squeaked. Actually, I couldn't yet, but I figured a little lie now was better than another beating right after that other one.  
  
Ukyo's emotions flashed across her face so rapidly I felt like I was watching an electronic stock ticker on high speed, before she closed her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh, "Don't bother. Herb must have put is here after he knocked us out. He did knock you out, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I got one more hit in, and then it was lights out. I don't even know what he got me with..." I said, trailing off as she relaxed, but didn't let go of me.  
  
"Umm... Ukyo?" I said, squirming.  
  
"Quit moving around. As compromising as this is, it is pretty comfortable, and since no guy will have a dowry-less girl like me, I might as well enjoy it, right?"  
  
"But-" I started, before she interrupted me.  
  
"Besides, you're a fan, you should enjoy yourself too."  
  
"..." I stood up on the bed quickly before jumping to the door and exiting. Quickly entering my room, I shivered, before moving over to my small pack of clothes, moments before I tripped over someone sleeping in my futon.  
  
"Who dares!?" Herb cried, sitting up. Rubbing my shoulder, which I'd managed to land on, I glanced at him, then apologized.  
  
"Oh... why did you interrupt me? Is there something wrong?" he asked a moment later.  
  
"Well, it was an accident. Something's wrong, but it's not... well... it is your fault, but it's not your problem, so..." I shut up, reaching over and pulling out a pair of clothes, which I exited the room with before Herb would question my odd reply. Making my way into the bathroom, I locked the door and quickly showered, before pulling on the clean clothes for the day. Opening the door, I froze as I saw Ukyo standing there, looking somewhat guilty.  
  
I scowled, "Come to play with my head some more? Or maybe you'd rather toy with my heart, too?"  
  
Ukyo paled, and I sighed, wondering why I'd just said that. Sure, what she'd said in bed had been cold and wrong... and painful... but she'd probably not meant it like that. Glancing back at her, I saw a tear slide its way down her face, catching the light just enough to sparkle as it fell to the floor.  
  
"Ukyo, Look... I'm... I didn't mean that. I-"  
  
"But you were right," she said, her voice sounding almost agonized. I blinked, and reached out for her but she shied away from my touch, not even looking at me.  
  
"I'm just as bad as that bastard Ranma... taking advantage of the people who... who..." She collapsed to the floor sobbing, and I followed her down, wrapping her in one arm.  
  
Unsure of what to say, and wondering just what kind of relationship we had in her eyes, I sat beside her, holding her as she sobbed again. Herb stuck his head out, made a funny noise, and ducked back into the room, probably uncomfortable with what little of the situation he'd seen. Finally, Ukyo looked at me, then back at the floor.  
  
"I... I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be sorry... it wasn't on purpose. Words can hurt, but the intent is what leaves the lasting impression."  
  
"But-"  
  
I put my finger over her mouth, shaking my head as I started to stand up, "I'm the one who was wrong, Ukyo. You've got nothing to be sorry about." She stared at me, and I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Chipper up!" I said, sliding away and downstairs quickly. Herb came into the dining room a couple minutes later, glancing back at the stairs before sitting across from me.  
  
"Is Ukyo alright?"  
  
I blinked, "what do you mean?"  
  
"She's still sitting where she was a few minutes ago, and she's turned an interesting shade of red," Herb replied, like he was describing the weather. Finally looking at my stunned expression, he spoke again, "not to pry or anything, but I get the feeling you two are more than just the 'friends' you claim to be."  
  
Feeling my face flush, I buried my head in my hands, speaking towards the floor, "is this feeling that obvious?"  
  
"Yes... you know your ears are just about as red as hers are at the moment."  
  
"That's great, Herb. Umm..." I took a deep breath, before speaking again, "Despite appearances, outwardly and to each other, Ukyo and I are still friends. But from what you say and what I've seen, I think Ukyo might be starting to want something more."  
  
"And you don't?"  
  
"Hah! I'd be lying if I said I didn't. No, I'd like to see what's next, but... "  
  
"But what?" Ukyo's voice said from beside me. I yelped and tried to push away from the table, stand up, and turn around at the same time. Instead, I succeeded in falling back in my chair, the world spinning around me as my head met the hard floor.  
  
Ukyo and Herb helped me into a booth as the world continued to swim around me, and finally I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the table, deciding not to look at anything for a few minutes.  
  
"But what?" Ukyo said again, sliding into the booth beside me. I heard Herb walking around the kitchen and sighed, knowing I'd not get out of this one without answering her question.  
  
"Well... I'm... uhh... "  
  
"What? Not Japanese?"  
  
"Well... no... I'm also-"  
  
"Not legally supposed to be here? From another world? Afraid you'll break me? What?"  
  
"Err... the first two? And... well-"  
  
"You're scared!" Ukyo said, the smile on her face obvious in her voice.  
  
"No!" I said, straightening up and turning to look at her. The world swam around me again, and the next thing I knew, Ukyo was holding my head steady, and ever so gently pressed her lips to mine. I started to struggle, but suddenly relaxed, closing my eyes and leaning into it, and Ukyo let one hand drop to take mine. Far too early (in my opinion), she pulled away, and she looked at me, blushing slightly.  
  
"Err... well... I was just afraid of what would happen if I suddenly appeared back home..."  
  
Ukyo didn't say anything, simply nodding and looking downward. "Anything else?" she asked softly, rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb slowly.  
  
"Umm... well... I still worry about... uhh..."  
  
"Ranma."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Ukyo put her hand on my shoulder, and bent over until she was looking up into my eyes. I stared back at her silently, and quietly, she said, "Kyle, before you knew about him here, you were willing to give up your own chance with me so that I could be happy... If you're still thinking like that, I assure you, the Ranma of this world is nothing like the one you know... I promise."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No 'but's. You have to trust me, just like I trust you when you tell me things about that other world."  
  
"I..." I paused, no argument forthcoming. Finally, I nodded, "I trust you." Ukyo smiled, a tiny upturn at the corners of her mouth, and I closed my eyes, trying to capture that memory, moments before she lunched forward and wrapped her arms around me. Falling back into the booth (and thankfully missing the way by less-than an inch) I returned the hug, which lasted a few minutes before we both climbed out of the booth.  
  
Standing nearby, a healthy shade of pink, Herb tried his best not to watch. Glancing at Ukyo, I realized she was in a t-shirt and the same pair of short-shorts from the other day, apparently her sleep apparel. Whispering to Ukyo to go get dressed and promising an explanation later, I sat back at the table, Herb taking a seat across from me and looking a little more composed.  
  
"So..." I said, finally.  
  
"It seems you two have come to some sort of agreement."  
  
"So it seems..." I muttered, still feeling her arms around me, her lips on mine...  
  
"As much as I'd love an explanation for your concerns," herb said, at which I grinned sheepishly, "I assume they'll be made clear when you are ready. Now, however, I'm sure you'd like to know discuss last night's little match,"  
  
"Yeah, how'd we do?" Ukyo asked, tying her hair up as she sat down between us.  
  
"Well, like I said before, you two both have some small degree of skill, more than even I thought, since you both managed to strike me-"  
  
"What was up with that, anyway?" Ukyo said, suddenly, "you weren't doing anything but dodging, then the moment we hit you, you went all out."  
  
"I... apologize. I'm not used to being hit, and for a moment, I forgot that it was a training match. Testament to your skills that you each managed to hit me again before I incapacitated you both."  
  
"Fat lot of good those hits did," I mumbled.  
  
"On the contrary. Here, have a look," Herb said, lifting his shirt. Above his navel was a purplish bruise from where I'd punched him before being knocked out. Turning, he showed us another, under his arm, apparently where Ukyo'd gotten a lucky hit in (not that mine wasn't a lucky hit, too) with her knee.  
  
"So..." Ukyo prompted.  
  
"So I underestimated you... even going full out, you aren't too far below me, as you each managed to get a hit in despite my going all out."  
  
Ukyo and I grinned at each other, then blushed before looking away, the two of us finding something random suddenly interesting. Herb, not noticing, began speaking again, "while I doubt you'll have anywhere near as much power as I do, I think the best way to assist your training is to begin you on Ki manipulation... that and some sort of toughness conditioning... you both seem rather easily damaged..."  
  
I nodded in agreement, wondering how to bring up Amazonian training. Finally, I decided to work up to it, "I read that you are generally a master of Ki manipulation... And that anything involving Ki you know by birthright..."  
  
"Anything I see I know by birthright. If it's done with Ki, and I see, or hear about it, I can duplicate it."  
  
"Well... I know a couple Ki techniques, but can't quite figure them out, yet... maybe you can work them out?"  
  
"You know the techniques, but not the training?" Herb asked, frowning.  
  
"Well... actually, they're Amazon techniques, and I know the training. I just didn't want to learn them and then get hunted by angry secretive Amazons." Herb hissed slightly as I said that, then nodded, before responding.  
  
"I see your problem. So you want to describe them to me, so that I can figure them out, and then teach them to you, so if the Amazons come looking for you, you can direct them to me?"  
  
"Well... er... I didn't really think it that far through yet..." I said, hoping he'd believe me. He'd more than likely wipe the floor with any Amazon one-on-one, so I wasn't sure why he'd hesitate to do it.  
  
"Fine... As retribution for Cologne's obvious lie in denying her knowledge of the existence of the Liberating Pot."  
  
"She... you went to her for help?"  
  
"Yes. After I visited her, I scoured the Archives for information, but all I learned was that it was somewhere to the Far East. I'd just about given up hope when you turned up with the answer... "  
  
Herb looked at me expectantly, and I sighed, "I promise, Herb. You'll understand in the end."  
  
"And probably dislike it just as much as I did," Ukyo amended.  
  
"Well, let me hear about those techniques you know, and I'll see what we can do with them," Herb said, as if the former conversation had never happened.  
  
"Actually, we ought to open... we're already missed half the lunch rush..." Ukyo said, glancing at the clock.  
  
I stood up, looking at the clock in surprise, before making my way around the dining room and flipping over chairs.  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Herb offered, after a moment's hesitation.  
  
"Err... what?" I said staring at him like he was a prince offering to help run a restaurant... which he was.  
  
"Well..." he said, suddenly looking uncomfortable, "I did agree to be your friends for a week, and... while it's far below my station to even consider assisting, I feel rather useless standing around doing nothing."  
  
Ukyo and I glanced at each other, then I shrugged, "Alright, you're hired, your Highness. You can deliver food, while I Take orders and Ukyo cooks."  
  
"Serve... er... I suppose..." Herb said, his objection fading into indistinct murmuring.  
  
"If you want... and this is only a suggestion," Ukyo said, cautiously, "you might want to change first."  
  
"Change into what?"  
  
"A girl," Ukyo said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Only if you want, Herb. Ukyo's right though... It might help attract customers."  
  
"But... I... well... are you serious about it helping?" Herb said, scowling.  
  
"Well, not if you walk around with that look on your face. But if you smile and stuff, you'll help bring in new customers, and bigger tips," I replied.  
  
"Alright... But only if I have your word that nobody hears of this. As far as my people are concerned, I have no curse."  
  
"You have my word." Ukyo said, flipping on the grill.  
  
"Our word. You have our word, Herb."  
  
As Herb disappeared into the back room, I heard Ukyo, around a smile, quietly say "-chan," as he disappeared up the stairs. Needless to say, she was curious as to what we were smiling about when she came back down a couple minutes later.  
  
--===--  
  
That evening, Ukyo tallied up our sales for the day, while Herb mopped. I was busy scrubbing the grill clean, and when the three of us finished, we collapsed into the chairs. Apparently, Herb's presence had brought it more, because Ukyo had a weary smile plastered to her face. Thinking back to all the tables I'd worked with I could believe it.  
  
"Well, your Highness, I can safely say that your presence greatly contributed... despite our late opening, we still more than doubled our typical Monday sales."  
  
I grinned at Herb, who was looking at the floor she'd just mopped, before reaching across the table and patting her on the shoulder. She jumped, then looked at me, before breaking into a slight smile.  
  
"I think Herb-chan here is proud of her work on the floors..." I ventured.  
  
"It wasn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I mean, as a Prince, I'd never imagine mopping the floor was so... peaceful."  
  
"Err... how so?" I asked, caught off guard by the odd comment.  
  
"I liked how it gave me time to think. It was like having time to myself, but even if I didn't use it to think about a problem, I was still being productive."  
  
I blinked.  
  
"That's... one way to look at it... I suppose," Ukyo said, after a moment's hesitation.  
  
"Well," I said, yawning and stretching, "we can celebrate tomorrow... After Ukyo gets back from school."  
  
"Ack! I forgot all about that!" Ukyo said, jumping to her feet. Herb walked away chuckling, and I sighed, quickly cleaning Ukyo and Herb's glasses, before flipping off the lights, and jumping up the stairs.  
  
After brushing my teeth and making sure my complexion was clear in the mirror, I turned to enter my room, only to find the door locked. Blinking, I tried a little harder, with similar results. I briefly considered kicking the door in, when I realized someone was snoring inside.  
  
"Herb..." I muttered, wondering why he'd lock me out of my room. Raising my foot to kick the door in, I thought about Herb's reaction when some enraged guy kicks the door in, waking him from his peaceful sounding slumber, then dropped my foot in annoyed resignation.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ukyo asked as I passed the bathroom.  
  
"Downstairs, I suppose. Herb commandeered my room. I'm going to go lie down in a booth or something..."  
  
"Wait... we could just..." She said, staring at the floor.  
  
"You mean... like last night?"  
  
"Yeah... My bed is big enough, and... well... I just can't let you sleep in a booth."  
  
I blinked, "but... well... it's... not-"  
  
"Not what? Proper?" Ukyo asked, interrupting me, "I don't care about being proper... you shouldn't have to sleep in a booth," she said, loudly, before mumbling something under her breath.  
  
"Ehh... what was that last part?"  
  
"Nothing. Don't worry about it. So what do you say?"  
  
"I... suppose. Just so long as it goes on the record that I objected."  
  
"What, are you afraid someone's watching us and reporting to my dad or something?" Ukyo said, frowning at me.  
  
"No, I just wanted it to be known that I was a gentleman before I was a guy. Let's get to bed, before school starts, eh?"  
  
I passed Ukyo, grinning as I entered her room and dove under the covers, getting comfortable against the wall.  
  
After a couple minutes, I heard Ukyo enter, shut off the light, and crawl into bed behind me.  
  
"No funny business," she said, her voice somewhat muffled. Twisting, I realized we both had our backs towards each other.  
  
"You're the one who offered to sleep with me," I said, suppressing a grin. Ukyo shuffled behind me for a moment, and suddenly I was hit with her pillow.  
  
"Kyle?" Ukyo said, shaking me from those weird dream-like thoughts that happen right as you dose off.  
  
Waiting for my next breath out, I hummed a little "hmm," too tired to even open my mouth.  
  
"In the hall... No. Really, before... everything, this morning... Before I realized what was going on, and after, I... I didn't mind it."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I just... didn't mind waking up like that. I felt safe... appreciated," she was whispering now, obviously talking to herself more than me, "maybe even... loved..."  
  
My eyes cracked at that, and I summoned the strength to roll over. Ukyo's back was still to me, but I slowly reached out and wrapped my right arm around her, doing my best not to touch anything more than her sides below the ribs.  
  
"Thanks" she whispered, sounding like she was almost asleep herself.  
  
"You're welcome" I whispered back, feeling her curl up with my arm like she was afraid I'd pull it back.  
  
We fell asleep like that, and the next morning, as the alarm brought us back into the waking world, we realized that sometime during the evening, we'd become entwined again.  
  
--===--  
  
"So," Herb said, helping me set up without being asked, "About those techniques, would now not be a good time to describe them?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Basically there's the Baksai Tenketsu, and the Hiryuu Shoten Ha. The former is a technique to shatter boulders by applying Ki and pressure to a major stress-line focal point within the structure..."  
  
"And that is helpful in a fight?"  
  
"Not really. It's the training that really pays off. After being swung into a boulder enough times to learn it, your body builds up a sort of resistance to being struck... or so I've been told."  
  
"That sounds rather painful... and crude. Leave it to the Amazons to develop something so rash."  
  
"Hence my reluctance to start Ukyo and I on it... though if nothing else is forthcoming, I might just give in and try it."  
  
"Before you do, give me a chance to work with it, see if I can't develop something from it," Herb replied, looking thoughtful. A moment later he nodded to himself then turned back to me, "and that other one? The Hiryuu Shoten Ha?"  
  
"That ones very powerful, but somewhat limited in it's use, because your opponent has to be giving off hot Ki, while you give off cold Ki. After leading the enraged fighter into a tightening spiral, an uppercut by the user causes the two swirling energies to form a sort of tornado, which sucks the energy from your opponent to feed itself."  
  
"Now that sounds impressive."  
  
"It is, when you get it to work. But remember, you have to radiate cold Ki the whole time, your opponent has to radiate hot Ki, do the spiral correctly, the uppercut right, and, well... after being hit with it, you have to truly enrage them to make them fall for it again."  
  
"Yes, I'd realized that. Still, if it were modified a bit... are there any known variations?" Herb said, sitting down.  
  
Dropping into a chair across from him, I nodded, "Basically variations of the same theme. Hot and cold magical blasts, instead of Ki... and one user let the tornado suck him up, instead of his opponent, and then fired a blast of Ki down through the center."  
  
"Why would they do that?" Herb asked.  
  
Suppressing a smile, I explained, "Apparently, the opponent was too strong for the regular version to do much damage."  
  
"I'd like to have met this opponent. From what you describe, and what I can tell about the forces involved, this opponent would have to be almost my equal."  
  
"You already have. You just don't know it yet."  
  
"What, exactly, do you mean by that?"  
  
"It'll become clear, just like a lot of other things you're probably wondering about."  
  
"Indeed," Herb said, frowning. Sighing he turned back to me, "Do you know any more Amazon techniques? Or techniques in general? Despite your understandably uneducated explanation, your information is rather valuable, and you do tend to convey enough information to give me something to work with in figuring the maneuvers out."  
  
"Well..." I said, wondering what all I could include. Finally deciding on one, and seeing if Herb would buy it, I nodded.  
  
"Well, there's this one I heard of called the Kamehameha..."  
  
--===--  
  
When Ukyo entered, she frowned at me before she collapsed in a chair at the table Herb and I were still sitting at.  
  
"You never told me Nabiki and Akane went to Furinken, Kyle."  
  
"Ahh... sorry?"  
  
"Yeah, well, Akane tried to pick a fight, and Nabiki tried to take bets on it, but I managed to delay the fight for a few days... I thought you said they would leave us alone."  
  
"They should! Unless..." I said, realizing I might not have specified that Nabiki leave the two of us alone.  
  
"Unless?" Ukyo asked leaning forward to get right up in my face.  
  
"I... I might have misworded the deal and only gotten the protection for me?" I said weakly. Herb snorted, then blushed, and Ukyo just rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair with a sigh.  
  
"Well... I'll deal with her on Thursday. Why haven't you two opened the place yet?"  
  
"We were discussing training," Herb said, as if that were reason enough for anybody.  
  
Ukyo turned to him with a frown, "and you two couldn't talk about that while serving guests?"  
  
"Well..." I said, slowly, "You managed to... err... manage... before, when it was just you and you were going to school. Both here... and in Osaka."  
  
Ukyo gave me a funny look when I said she'd managed here, but then her eyes flashed in understanding, and she nodded. Herb remained silent, though I assumed he'd file the unspoken conversation away for the upcoming 'Explanation.'  
  
"Besides... with all the money we... err... confiscated, we have enough to make up for a couple days without working," I added helpfully. Ukyo looked irked by this, and I sighed.  
  
"Don't worry, Herb's and my conversation will more than likely result in some pretty good training for the two of us... and probably Herb as well. Right, your Highness?"  
  
"Absolutely. I'm actually looking forward to attempting some of the techniques Kyle described. Even omitting the ones that he seemed to have made up on the spot, I've heard enough to keep me and the Trainers back at the Citadel busy for months."  
  
"Months? I thought... what all did you tell him? I thought it was just those two Amazon moves?" Ukyo asked, turning to me.  
  
"Err... well... you know. I just listed everything I knew."  
  
"Ev..." Ukyo trailed off, and once again understanding dawned on her face, "Ohh... geeze... I didn't even think about that."  
  
"Neither did I," I replied, truthfully.  
  
"So what do you think, Herb? What would be the best starting point?" Ukyo asked, sounding almost excited.  
  
"Well, as I said, some Ki training to help you learn anything I can recreate from Kyle's list... and while you two do that, I'll start working on a training schedule for the two of you as I figure out how to train people in the techniques you've described."  
  
"Cool," I said, looking at Ukyo, whose expression was mirroring my own.  
  
"Your school does allow branching out, right Ukyo?" I asked, suddenly wondering if she'd be able to learn any of the true techniques from other schools.  
  
"Well, sort of... I mean, it encourages growth and learning, and of course, excellent cooking, but I don't know if that involves so many unarmed techniques... Though your ineptness with weapons hasn't hindered your overall ability in building your way up from the basics much at all..."  
  
"Well, Ranma's school is a pretty hard to beat one, as it incorporates anything and everything that might be useful, Martial Arts-wise," I said, carefully. Ukyo's face fell, and she unconsciously plucked at one of the spatulas on her bandolier.  
  
"I know, I can't really deny that with what you've told me... Anything-Goes is powerful... But to combat it, I don't want to give up my own school..."  
  
"Can you develop a school from yours?" Herb asked, reminding us that he was still there.  
  
"What do you mean?" Ukyo asked, glancing up at him.  
  
"Well, if this Anything-Goes is powerful because it uses the techniques of other schools, then you'll need to either develop a move too powerful for him to ever develop a counter to, or develop a school that works like his, so you too can stockpile various techniques."  
  
"Some sort of Adaptive Okonomiyaki School of Martial Arts?" I ventured.  
  
Ukyo looked at me, then smirked, "Not bad, actually." She turned to Herb, nodding, "I'll have to call my father and ask if that's okay, but he might go for it. I also need to tell him a few things about what's been going on."  
  
Herb and I nodded, and she excused herself to go change and make the call. Herb and I glanced at each other, and then stood up.  
  
"Time for work," I said, as if it was just now turning eleven.  
  
"You want to work, when I can start training?"  
  
"Well," I replied, slowly, "Ukyo's on the phone with her dad, and considering everything that's been happening, and the briefness of her last call, I think she'll be there for a while. Besides, I can work, and you can go out back and start working out everything I told you."  
  
"You won't need my assistance?"  
  
"No, I've handled the place before a couple times. You get to work out back, I'll get to work in here, and tonight, after we close, you can start teaching us."  
  
"If Ukyo's dad allows her to," I muttered.  
  
Herb didn't reply, simply nodding before he disappeared out the back door.  
  
--===--  
  
"So, how'd it go?" I asked when Ukyo finally emerged from her room and hung the phone up. She'd originally objected to my suggestion that we buy a cordless, but after tonight, I doubted she'd ever look at it unhappily again.  
  
"Well, First off, he wanted me to thank the guy that helped me for him," she said, grinning at me.  
  
"Err... your welcome?" I replied, wondering why she hadn't just given me the phone.  
  
"Secondly, he said I couldn't create a new branch of martial arts," she said, her smile dropping.  
  
My grin faded as well, and I sighed, "Well... we'll figure som-"  
  
"Thirdly, he gave me the number for his teacher, and told me I'd need to test out of our school if I was going to develop my own."  
  
"Test out?"  
  
"Well, it's rare, if not unprecedented, but dad said he'd put a good word in for me... And if Ranma inspired me to do this, then there's at least one silver lining to the hurricane the Saotome Name caused in our lives."  
  
"How... ast- Wait. How...?"  
  
"Think about how productive a father and daughter are without anything but the clothes on their back."  
  
"Ahh..." I said, stupidly. Ukyo just patted me on the shoulder, before gently pushing me out of her place behind the grill. The rest of the evening passed rather slowly.  
  
--===--  
  
"Alright," Herb said, circling the two of us slowly, "despite your inability to learn multiple techniques at the moment, I can instruct you in new ways to train, and therefore, we're continuing as planned."  
  
"Right," I said, quickly.  
  
"Exactly," Ukyo agreed.  
  
"Therefore, I'll start the two of you in the basics of Ki manipulation."  
  
And so Ukyo and I took our first steps into a much larger world. The rest of the week went by similarly, Ukyo leaving for school, Herb and I talking as we prepared to open, Herb writing away or practicing while I worked until Ukyo came back. Ukyo and I would work together until closing time, and after an hour and a half of Herb's training, then a quick shower before turning in for the night.  
  
Thursday, Ukyo's fight with Akane went on as planned, and Ukyo returned from school grumbling about a 'hard head' and 'pounding spatulas into shape.'  
  
As the three of us sat around the table we'd come to refer to as 'The Conference Table,' Herb gave me a questioning look, and I nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I've stalled long enough, and I did promise."  
  
"Oh... time for that conversation, is it?" Ukyo asked, straightening up in her chair.  
  
"Yep. Well, here's the deal. I'm from an alternate universe, in which one similar to this is a popular form of entertainment. In it, everyone from Ukyo here, to you, to Saffron and the Phoenix people are 'fictitious' characters who usually end up fighting the title character, one Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts."  
  
"... Excuse me?"  
  
"Yeah, that was my reaction too, sugar. It gets better though... or worse, depending on how you look at it."  
  
"Yeah, you see, YOU, Prince Herb, arrived here in Nerima seeking Cologne, and a cure, around this time, only Ranma had already arrived. After upsetting him by... uhh... 'mistreating' one of his fiancée's, you locked him in his cursed form, the same as yours, and as such ended up as bitter rivals."  
  
"How... are you... you mean...?" Herb stammered, looking closely at Ukyo and I as if he expected us to tell him we were joking. Then he brightened, "So I was the one who forced Ranma to revise his ultimate attack?"  
  
"Well, yeah..."  
  
"And all those techniques you listed were from this... series?"  
  
"Oh no! Just the ones I said were Amazons. Oh, and that Ki-vacuum and invisibility-with-a-cloth technique. And I think I mentioned the energy- from-underwear thing," Herb shuddered, but nodded.  
  
"All the rest were from different series' that I'd seen," I said, not mentioning that a few were from game-series' and not anime/manga.  
  
"I see..." Herb said, softly.  
  
"So... you believe me?"  
  
"As farfetched as your story is, your knowledge of things you shouldn't know about, as well as your sincerity over the past week lends much credit to your story."  
  
"Ahh..." Ukyo said, sounding surprised herself.  
  
"Indeed. And your caution in waiting to tell me about your origin is sensible, as well. I cannot fault your for your secrecy."  
  
"How... formal. You aren't slipping back into Prince-mode yet, are you? You still have one more day."  
  
"I... apologize. While I admit to finding your story hard to fault with the evidence provided, finding out I was a briefly mentioned character in some serialized tale, and more-than-likely listed as a proverbial 'bad-guy,' well..." Herb trailed off.  
  
Ukyo nodded sympathetically, "yeah, I know how you feel. I was Ranma's fiancée, apparently."  
  
"Then my... err... double?" Herb asked, hesitantly. When I nodded, he continued, "my double 'mistreated' you?"  
  
"Err, no," I said, quickly, "that was Akane, actually."  
  
"The easily angered enforcer of that smooth talking commoner from last week?"  
  
I blinked. So did Ukyo. Then we started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" Herb asked, frowning.  
  
"That description... it was perfect. I'll have to remember it for later," Ukyo said between breaths. Finally, the mirth died down, and Herb looked out the window deep in thought.  
  
"You know..." he said, after a minute of uncomfortable silence.  
  
"Hmm?" I hummed, glad he'd finally broken the silence.  
  
"Well, I remember hearing that you weren't really registered anywhere as a citizen..."  
  
"Yeah, a bit of a bitch, if you know what I mean," I muttered.  
  
"I might be able to help with that."  
  
Ukyo and I both stared at Herb, waiting for him to continue. He blushed when he realized how intent we were on hearing more, and nervously continued.  
  
"I... well, I could adopt you into the Musk, and register you with the Chinese Government."  
  
"So I'd be an English-speaking Chinaman of Spanish descent working illegally in Japan..." I said, slowly.  
  
"Well, it's a step up from "Origin-less Spaniard working illegally in Japan," Ukyo said helpfully.  
  
"If you'd let me finish, I'd explain what I would do after that..." Herb said, eyebrow twitching.  
  
"Sorry," Ukyo and I muttered.  
  
Herb nodded, then coughed once before continuing, "I have a few allies in the Chinese Government and one friend in the Emperor's Palace here in Japan that I can use to get you dual-citizenship."  
  
"Oh..." Ukyo 'oh'-ed, softly.  
  
"That WOULD be very helpful," I said. Herb nodded.  
  
"All I ask in return is to be listed as a co-creator when forming the new school."  
  
"Err... what?"  
  
"Those techniques you spoke of, the ones from another universe? For all intents and purposes, they're brand new here. You can claim them as your own and use them to start a school of Martial Arts that would be extremely powerful, and as versatile as this 'Anything Goes' you keep mentioning."  
  
"Ohh..." I muttered, not having thought about that. To be honest, I'd thought I was giving Herb the techniques to do with as he saw fit.  
  
"Since your current skill seems very similar in design to Ukyo's, I'd assume she trained you to your current level, though you seem to have a little Kung Fu and Tae-Kwon-Do training as well as something I can't readily identify. A hybrid, I suppose... In any case, Ukyo would also be a co-creator, and using her school as a basis for building up to the techniques you 'invented,' the three of us could develop a school of Martial Arts that would rival any other."  
  
Ukyo blinked, as surprised at being dragged into this as I was, then she smiled.  
  
"All I have to do is impress my father's master, and I would be free to help..." Ukyo said, softly. I nodded at her, then turned to Herb, "you've got yourself a deal."  
  
--===--  
  
Sunday afternoon found the three of us sitting together in an upscale restaurant in downtown Tokyo.  
  
"So, Herb, did you enjoy your stay?" Ukyo asked after we'd placed our orders.  
  
"It was... different, to say the least." He answered, after a moment's pause. Then he smiled, "I wouldn't be lying, however, if I were to say I'm not entirely opposed to doing it again sometime."  
  
"Glad we got to show you how to have fun," I said, grinning around my drink.  
  
"Among other things, I suppose. You two, of course, are welcome to the Citadel if ever you're in the area."  
  
"That's quite a distance from here..." Ukyo said, remember where Herb had explained he hailed from."  
  
"Well," Herb said, the beginnings of a smile on his lips, "I was thinking about your honeymoon." He grinned as Ukyo and I both started choking on our drinks, before continuing as if nothing was wrong, "Of course, I realize we've not got as much to offer as a town bordered on one side by a hellspawn-infested war zone, but I'm sure we could think of something..."  
  
Ukyo and I glared at him as he stared out the window, and a moment later the food arrived.  
  
When we'd paid for our food and stepped outside, when-  
  
"There you two are."  
  
"Lord Herb!"  
  
"My Lord!"  
  
Turning around, I saw Herb's companions, Lime and Mint, doing their best to grovel while on their feet. Herb waved them over and began talking quietly, before receiving something from them. Turning around, he came back towards Ukyo and me, his retainers flanking him. Ukyo was staring at Herb curiously, and I was fairly certain my face expressed just as much interest as well.  
  
"As Prince of the Musk Dynasty and by the power granted to my by birthright, I, Prince Herb, hereby offer to you, warriors of exceptional status, honorary membership into the Dynasty of the Musk, and my undying loyalty to those I would call my friends."  
  
Herb quickly removed a small dagger and gently pierced his palm, before taking two small rings that Lime had handed him and clenching his bloody fist around them. There was a flash of light, and when Herb opened his hand, the rings sat on unbroken flesh. Taking the two rings, he handed one to each of us, who took them with a stunned expression on our faces.  
  
Looking down at the ring, I realized that the band was inlaid with tiny symbols I had no hope of reading, and flush against it lay one blood-red gem which seemed to glow from within. I glanced at Ukyo, who was examining it as closely as I was, and then looked to Herb.  
  
"Ahh..." I started, unsure of what to say.  
  
"Pointer finger, right hand. And no thanks is required, you two have earned those."  
  
"Lord Herb!" Mint whispered, staring at the ring I slid onto my finger in obvious awe.  
  
"So... not to be rude, but what are they?" Ukyo said, twisting hers into place before holding her hand up and admiring it.  
  
"They're old treasures of the Musk, typically worn by those closest to the Royal Family."  
  
"Magical?" I asked, knowing that most treasures from that area tended to have more than looks going for them.  
  
Herb nodded, holding up his hand to show his, which I'd never noticed until now.  
  
"Unless someone is wearing one themselves, knows what they are, or exceptionally powerful, they're invisible, and unless you consciously think of them, you will normally not notice it's there. Also, the gem is charged with draconic blood, amplifying almost anything that involves or requires Ki."  
  
"Like a capacitor?" I asked, to which Herb nodded.  
  
"I will contact you periodically as I work with the techniques you have given me, and get started on getting you citizenship after I leave here."  
  
"You have our phone number?" Ukyo asked.  
  
Herb laughed, "No, I'll use the rings. They work somewhat like beepers, in that I can contact you with them, though yours can't do anything other than receive messages from me."  
  
Ukyo opened her mouth to object, but Herb waved his hand in a placating manner, "I would have given you the ability if I could, but the only way to use them is to have the blood of Dragons in your veins."  
  
"Oh." I said intelligently. Herb nodded, before glancing at the sun and sighing.  
  
"Now, my friends, I must be off. Take care of yourselves, remember what I taught you, and I'll be back to work on our school in three month's time."  
  
"See you then!" I said, shaking Herb's hand and releasing a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when my bones didn't grind together.  
  
Stepping before Ukyo, Herb held his hand out as well, but Ukyo ignored it, wrapping him in a friendly hug. Lime and Mint tensed, but when it was apparent she wasn't attacking Herb, then relaxed, though stepping slightly closer to their charge.  
  
"Be safe, Herb-chan." Ukyo said, grinning. Herb, as red as I'd ever seen him, nodded, before stammering out a "you too" and walking over to Lime and Mint. Turning around, he bent over in a formal bow, before turning and walking up the street, in the opposite direction from the Ucchan's.  
  
===========   
  
Author's notes:  
  
Wow... who'd have thought I'd actually type this much in one chapter, eh? Here's the deal.. 'And Yet Another Self-Insert Fic' is, surprisingly, the basis for NASIF, though I published NASIF first... The original NASIF had just Ukyo appearing in the real world.. however, that Idea was put on hold for over a year, then one night, I decided to write something, and decided, instead of one, why not a few, and so Ukyo, was shelved in favor of Nabiki, Mara, and Makoto.  
  
When NASIF got going, I considered doing an SI fic that took place inside Ukyo's restaurant , and from my avatar's point of view, I watched the going-ons of Nerima, helping Ukyo "get her man." This was supposed to be that fic, until I realized that, while original, restricting myself to the restaurant was boring as hell, and I had to get out some.. slowly, this alternate Ranmaverse began to take shape, and now I've got a me in a universe where only a few things are 'right,' the rest of the world not caring less how far it's diverting from cannon universe... and it's kind of fun.  
  
Anyway... I could go on and on about this story, pretending it was a blog entry, as opposed to the AN, but I won't.. Hope you all enjoyed it.  
  
... and yes, I'm still working on NASIF. In fact, part 4 chapter three is almost done. YAY!  
  
Thanks to Nathan Huss and Parker Schadegg for pre-reading. 


	2. Chapter 2

"It's in a week," Ukyo said as she emerged from the back room. She quickly hung the phone up before moving over to the bar to help break down the place for the afternoon. Since Herb had stopped serving two weeks ago, we saw an expected drop in sales, and tonight we'd decided to close early, the loss in sales outweighed by the overall lack of sales.  
  
"What is?" I finally asked, mopping the floor.  
  
"The match with my father's master," Ukyo said, sitting down in the booth by the door. I dumped the bucket out back and hung the mop up quickly, before returning to the dining room and opening the door.  
  
"Where are you headed?" She asked, following me.  
  
"It's late afternoon... we have all evening before bed, I thought we could go for a walk in the park or something."  
  
"The park?"  
  
"Well, I suppose we could go to the beach-"  
  
"After the last time we tried going there? I doubt the beach will ever hold that special place in my heart like it used to," Ukyo said, dryly.  
  
"Feh. It's not like that didn't have a happy ending," I replied, locking the door behind us.  
  
"Yeah, right. You don't get attacked by a mob every morning-"  
  
"WHAT?" I interrupted.  
  
"Oh, did I forget to tell you?" she said, giving me a measured look. Wincing at the fairly obvious reminder that I'd not told her everything, she continued, "It's nothing too bad, really. After I trounced Akane, Nabiki offered a reward for anyone who could subdue me."  
  
"Oh? How much?" I asked. Ukyo shot me a dirty look, then sighed, "You wouldn't want it. It's a date-"  
  
"With Akane." She and I concluded at the same time.  
  
"You knew?!"  
  
"No. But I should have guessed. I..." I paused as Ukyo tensed up, "What's wrong?"  
  
Ukyo shook her head, staring at something behind me, and I turned, wondering what could make her face go pale like it had.  
  
Standing at the corner, looking somewhat lost, Genma Saotome stood, looking around for a moment before heading our way. Looking past him, I spotted Ranma, a smirk on his face, trailing along as if he didn't have a care in the world.  
  
"... Is that?" Ukyo asked, softly.  
  
"Yeah... how'd you..."  
  
"I didn't, I recognized his father," Ukyo said, anger starting to creep into her voice. Glancing over my shoulder at her, I realized she'd gone from shocked to pissed, and her posture had changed from casual to combat- ready in mere moments.  
  
"Excuse me," Genma said, before I could start trying to calm her down, "would either of you know the way to the Tendo Dojo?"  
  
"WHAT DO YOU TH-" I quickly covered Ukyo's mouth with my hand, ignoring the heat of her gaze as it shifted from Ranma to me.  
  
"Eh-heh... my friend here's a little high-strung. It's over," I gestured towards the west, "that way, near the edge of town, beside the abandoned building."  
  
"Are you sure? I seem to remember it-"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure, they recently did some sort of forest revitalization project, so that side of town has shrunk. With their plans to knock down a couple more buildings for a pool, though, the police have blocked off quite of few of the roads, though..."  
  
"Police aren't a problem for us; we're martial artists."  
  
"So I see, well then, best to stick to the rooftops if you're good enough to jump that high, or simply go around, and come in from the forest."  
  
"Through the forest, you say? I'll try that... no point attracting too much attention. Thanks for your help. Come on, Ranma!" Genma took off towards the West, and Ranma gave a cocky little wave before taking off after his old man. Ukyo, however, had stopped struggling, and her stare had changed from outrage to near-mirth. As the two disappeared around a corner, she started laughing, and I joined her after a moment of thought.  
  
--===--  
  
"Sorry about that, but I didn't think a fight was appropriate right as those two arrive in town..." I offered, weakly, once we'd locked the doors. After our laughing spell had ended, Ukyo had opened her mouth to admonish me, but I'd quickly moved off, Ukyo in pursuit as we quickly ducked back inside the restaurant.  
  
"Sorry? As pissed as I was, your idea was better than mine," Ukyo said, sitting down.  
  
"Oh? You mean, you're not mad at me?"  
  
"HELL YES I'M MAD!" She shouted, before weaving her fingers together and dropping her chin into the impromptu cradle before staring at me through slitted eyelids, "still... I suppose I can forgive you this time."  
  
I sighed in mock relief, and Ukyo rolled her eyes at me as I sat down across from her.  
  
"So, now what?" I asked, after a moment of silence.  
  
"How should I know? Apparently killing them isn't something you'll condone- "  
  
"Condone? Not likely. Maiming, maybe... but more than that? Well..."  
  
"Well what?" Ukyo asked, frowning, "Sure, he didn't kill anyone close to me, or physically hurt me, but do you have any idea what it's like to be betrayed by someone you thought you loved?"  
  
"I... kind of," I said quietly, thinking of my checkered past.  
  
Ukyo blinked, then sighed, "Well, even if you do, I'm almost certain it wasn't when you were six. Think about that time of your life Kyle. Trust was almost universal, and you, me... nobody has defenses against betrayal at that age."  
  
"Sorry... I didn't mean to make light of your pain," I said, understanding her meaning.  
  
"Make light of it? No..." Ukyo collapsed onto the table, her arms wrapping around to cushion her head much like I'd done in school when a lesson lost all its interest. Her voice, softer and somewhat muffled, continued, "I'd say you misunderstood, just like everyone else did."  
  
"Well help me understand," I said, propping my head up with my forearm in such a way that I was looking down at the right side of her face. She cracked her eye open and rotated it to stare up at me.  
  
"I can't do that. Nobody can. You either know... or you don't," she stated, before closing her eye again.  
  
Sitting back with a loud sigh, I shoved my hands in my pockets, unsure of what to say to that. Coming up with nothing, I waited patiently for a few minutes, while Ukyo remained motionless.  
  
Finally, "at least you try..." I heard Ukyo whisper.  
  
Sighing, I looked at her, before standing up and making my way out the back door, intent on practicing what Herb had instructed, before he left. Sitting down comfortably, I did my best to settle my mind and concentrate on myself, and the ball of energy I could now sense resting inside me, waiting to be tapped and used.  
  
Access to Ki wouldn't require the concentration and meditation once I was used to using it, Herb had said, but at the moment, untrained and nigh ignorant about its use, this was the best way to start the initial journey towards Ki-mastery. At least I knew that with Herb, who's innate ability to use Ki gave him expertise no other master could ever hope to attain, the relatively little time spent learning with the Prince was worth years of training the 'normal' way.  
  
Feeling a weak tendril of the power slowly reaching outward, I strained, unsure of how I was doing it, but working hard to keep it up. This was, I assumed, a step in the right direction, because so far, I'd managed to make the globule pulse, but had yet to "expand the outermost layer," as Herb had explained, trying to help us gain conscious control of our battle aura.  
  
Frowning, I tried harder, but suddenly Ukyo flashed through my mind, the tendril falling back to merge with the ball as if it'd never existed. Clinching my fists in my lap, keeping a proverbial eye on my Ki so I wouldn't have to meditate my way back to this condition, I considered my frustration at being utterly unable to help, or, as she'd said, even understand her problem.  
  
To be totally honest, despite all the times I insisted I wanted to help her, I wasn't sure what I was going to do, especially now that Ranma was in town. Ukyo had been, and still was a great friend... maybe more now, considering I had yet to move back into my room since Herb had left, and yet... Now, as opposed to the seemingly normal girl I'd known for almost a year, I caught a glimpse of the girl I thought I'd brought out of her shell... in essence, the six-year old girl who'd sworn vengeance on Ranma, all those years ago.  
  
All the work I hadn't realized I'd done, helping her subtly grow into the admirable, witty chef I knew was unraveling in a matter of hours, and I was helpless to do anything but sit back and watch! It was damn depressing, and I-  
  
"Kyle! You're doing it!"  
  
"Ack!" I exclaimed intelligently, leaping back... or I tried to, anyways. My legs had fallen asleep folded as they were, and while I'd managed to launch myself back, they collapsed when I tried to land properly, resulting with me on my back, and in slight pain.  
  
"How'd you do it?" Ukyo asked, standing over me.  
  
"Do what?" I asked, sitting up slowly and wiping the dirt off my shoulders and arms.  
  
"Your aura! It sprang up around you for a moment, just like Herb's!"  
  
"It did?"  
  
"Yes!" she said, smiling at me.  
  
"But... I didn't..." I stammered, thinking about everything I'd done. Then I cringed, "Was it bluish-white like Herb's was, or was it a greenish black?"  
  
"Greenish black, actually, though it looked like there was a bit of blue- white shining through a little... Why?"  
  
"That was emotional Ki, Depression Ki. You remember what Herb said about that, don't you?"  
  
Ukyo nodded, and I sighed. After bringing up the Shi Shi Hokodan and Moko Takabisha, Herb had told me to ask about them at our training. When I did, Herb had shown us a tiny, emotionless Ki bomb, then a depression fueled bomb, and a confidence-fueled one, as an example.  
  
While the mini-Moko Takabisha was slightly weaker than the mini-Shi Shi Hokodan, both managed to make a good foot-wide crater. The unfiltered, "pure"-Ki bomb, however, had still managed to blow a three-foot crater in the street, which Herb had wisely decided to aim at when he fired that one off.  
  
When the dust had cleared, he looked at us with a thin smile, "it's not that using emotions is bad, NOT using them is just so much better."  
  
"So," Ukyo said, bringing me back to the present, "You're saying that you used depression to get your Aura to pop up on cue... can you do it again, and hold it there, then drop the depression?"  
  
I blinked. "Umm... maybe?" I said, sitting back down. Focusing inward again, I tried to pay closer attention to what was going on, before I tried thinking depressing things. Finally, after a couple minutes of increasingly depressing thoughts, I felt/saw the ball of Ki expand, the growing spheroid mottled with dark splotches.  
  
Within the growing layer, despite its seemingly luminescent opacity, I could see another globule of energy, roughly the same size as the original. Amazingly, hundreds of tendrils connected the inner ball to the outer sphere, like-  
  
Suddenly the growing layer collapsed, my concentration split too many ways to keep my depression-fueled battle aura from growing visible.  
  
"Almost had it," I muttered, wondering briefly if Ukyo was still watching. Resuming my depressing train of thoughts, and adding some other gloomy considerations to it, I watched with detached awe as the layer began expanding once again, it's surface regaining it's mottled, sickly appearance.  
  
Finally, it had expanded as far as I could feel it go, and began thinking about the good things in life, all the while trying to hold the aura up. After a couple seconds, I felt it start to collapse, and sighed, doubts crossing my mind. As they did, however, the collapse stopped, and for a moment, it started to swell again, before my elation forced it down to almost nothing again.  
  
"Ugh," I said, opening my eyes and shifting slightly. Ukyo was crouched across from me, apparently meditating as I had, and I stared at the serene, peaceful look on her face for a moment, before resigning myself to trying again.  
  
If I have to build my aura up, find a way to hold it up, then drop the depression, holding it up by sheer will, then I'd need to use whatever force (will?) had been weakly tugging at that tendril before...  
  
I paused, then. If Depression was warring with elation, then maybe I should try confidence... the better it gets, the better it would get, right?  
  
Settling back into a comfortable crouch, I began thinking about all the things I'd done right, and how well I'd handled most big problems so far. Looking inward, I felt a stirring within the globule of Ki, something I'd not noticed before, and then it started to expand, slowly, bluish spots appearing across it as it's growth started to accelerate.  
  
I was doing it, I realized, grinning slightly. The confidence and pride fueled the expansion, and I faintly registered a slight breeze blowing around me.  
  
Reaching out with the weak force I'd been using to tug ineffectively at my Ki earlier, I did my best to establish a hold that would prevent the sphere from collapsing back into its original ball. Then I tried to strip my mind of confidence. That's when I realized the expanding sphere had grown so much I felt like I had to look hard to see its edges.  
  
Within, I saw the ball of energy writhing visibly, like an agitated energy- jellyfish, and understood that my elation had continued feeding the aura as I'd taken the time to erect the mental supports I wanted to hang my aura on.  
  
As joy gave into fear, I heard a tinny, distant voice, and realized Ukyo was shouting at me, the blood rushing in my ears and howling wind blocking her almost entirely out. I could feel my aura shrinking, but I was panicked, unsure how, once I got it down to a manageable level, I could keep it there, without succumbing to the pride of gaining control of an out of control battle aura wouldn't start this again. Then the splotches turned from blue to a dingy yellow, and the sphere started growing again.  
  
My only hope, I realized suddenly, would be to fire off a blast and drain the emotion quickly, before something worse happened. Hoping I had the mental capacity for it, I started despairing, hoping I could shift the fuel to depression long enough to try to fire off a Shi Shi Hokodan.  
  
The sphere, pausing in its growth briefly as my determination overrode my fear, began growing again as I thought about how I'd failed to do something as simple as keep a hold of my emotions. The dirty yellow faded towards black, and I suddenly felt myself shout, "SHI SHI HOKODAN, moments before the aura collapsed into nothing, and my feet left the ground.  
  
I'd been sitting with my hands in my lap, and didn't have time to scream as the explosion, at point blank range, launched me and a surprised Ukyo towards the wall. Feeling dazed, I cracked my eyes open just in time to see Ukyo sail over the wall before my vision was blocked by white concrete. Then everything went black.  
  
--===--  
  
There was a clatter beside me, waking me from a disturbingly uneasy sleep. Cracking my eyes, I turned my head, which made me groan as my neck protested the movement, painfully.  
  
"You awake, sugar?" Ukyo asked, somewhere above me. A blur above me moved somewhat, and suddenly I felt something light touch my face, brushing across it once, twice, before it disappeared, leaving the faint scent of...  
  
"Watermelons?" I asked, or, tried to ask, really. What came out was more like "Wttrmbls."  
  
"Sorry, I didn't think about retying the ribbon," Ukyo said, apologetically. The blur finally cane focused, to become a nervously grinning Ukyo quickly tying her hair up. Taking a deep breath, I tried to speak again.  
  
"It's okay... what happened?" That sounded better, though not by much. While it was understandable, this time, my voice sounded rough, and weak, relatively unlike what it usually sounded like. Ukyo handed me a cup, then smiled down at me.  
  
"I think you did it... or you did something." Ukyo said, sitting down beside the bed. Blinking, I realized we were in her room (we still called it that, as I didn't do anything in there but sleep) and quirked a brow at her, before trying to remember what she was talking about.  
  
I groaned, this time from mental pain, and I turned my gaze downward, towards the floor, as I softly mumbled, "I lost control... I tried.. I... the depression kept dying, so I tried confidence... and that kept building, until I lost control."  
  
"Ohh... but you said something at the end... right before the explosion. Shouted it, actually."  
  
"Shi Shi Hokodan," I whispered, grimly. Ukyo nodded, "Yeah, the Depression blast you told me about... How'd you-"  
  
"I managed to work my way from confidence to fear to depression before I screwed up and didn't bother aiming when I fired that blast..."  
  
"Kyle, I... you didn't really 'fire' that off, so much as just spontaneously explode..."  
  
"I... Ohh... see? I didn't even do that right," I mumbled, feeling myself slip into depression, despite my rather negative experience with that emotion a while ago.  
  
"Well... no offense, but I'm glad I didn't try that... I was considering it myself when you started glowing blue."  
  
"Nice to know someone learned from my mistakes," I groaned, sitting up. Glancing at the clock, I blanched, "It's one in the morning! You have to get to bed, you have school tomorrow!"  
  
"Actually, I had school yesterday, too... you've been asleep for over a day."  
  
"I..." I stared at her. A whole day? No wonder I felt sore, yet rested. Still, "What about school?"  
  
"What about it? I'll see HIM soon enough. You weren't in the best of shape you know... I like to think my time was well spent."  
  
"Well?" I muttered, and then sighed, "Thanks, Ukyo. I... I appreciate it." She smiled, and I grinned, "even if I can't condone it..." she slapped my playfully on the arm, then stood up, before stepping towards the dresser. She paused, then glanced at me over her shoulder.  
  
"Turn around for a moment?" She asked, grabbing the hem of her shirt. Blinking, I stared at her, and she started to slowly lift the shirt, exposing her navel.  
  
"Ah!" I shouted, rolling over, and feeling bruises and aches I'd sustained, but not-yet felt protest agonizingly as my neck was moved far too quickly.  
  
There was the swish of moving clothes, and suddenly the lights went out, and the bed shifted as she joined me under the covers.  
  
"Get some sleep, and those pains'll go away faster," she mumbled, sounding like she'd been up for days. Suddenly realizing the clothes she'd been wearing were the same as the ones she'd had on when I'd accidentally exploded, I cringed in guilt, understanding she probably HAD been up for days.  
  
"Thanks again, Ukyo-chan," I whispered to her. She shifted behind me, and suddenly I heard her voice whisper back, "'Ucchan' is alright... I... I need to get over the past." I heard the hesitation and vulnerability in her voice, and turned around to look at her in the dim moonlight shining in through the window.  
  
"I... are you sure?" I asked.  
  
She didn't say anything, simply nodding before she scooted a little closer to me.  
  
"I'm glad you're okay..."  
  
"I'm glad you were here to keep me okay," I responded, grinning. She smiled back at me, then yawned, stretching as she did so. I rolled out of the way of her arm, onto my back, and a moment later I felt her curl up against my side.  
  
"Umm..." I muttered, quietly. Ukyo gave a short, breathy chuckle, but didn't say anything else, and I let it go, before closing my eyes and quickly joining her in slumber.  
  
--===--  
  
The next afternoon, while Ukyo was at school, the phone rang. Considering briefly if I could ignore it, I sighed, set down the magazine I'd been looking at, and picked it up.  
  
"Hello, Ucchan's Okonomiyaki."  
  
"Yes... is there a 'Kyle Boitet' there?" the person on the other line asked.  
  
"Ahh, speaking."  
  
"Oh? Good. Mister Boitet, I've been instructed by... a mutual friend, to assist you in receiving citizenship here in Japan. If possible, I'd like to set up a meeting, as well as get a few facts from you so I can get the paperwork started."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Shoot."  
  
"First, I'll need you to verify a couple things for me... could you please state and spell your full name, as it is written on your birth certificate?"  
  
"Err..." I stammered, unsure just what he was verifying this against, and wondering why Herb had never mentioned this to me.  
  
"Don't worry, Mr. Boitet... your friend has filled me in on your peculiar situation, and I'm sure anything you say will match the records I have here concerning you."  
  
"Ohh... well then..."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, I'd created a life for myself that the person on the phone had dutifully jotted down, before promising to arrive a little later in the afternoon.  
  
"Err... Thank you..." I said when we were finished.  
  
"Oh, no need to thank me, Mr. Boitet. I'm just doing my job."  
  
"Right... Bye-bye, then." I said, hanging up the phone. As I brought the phone to the hook, I heard a muffled "sayonara" before the phone hit its cradle.  
  
"Well, that was informative," a voice said by the door. Spinning, I spotted Nabiki, casually leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"... Aren't you supposed to be in school?" I asked, sitting down in my usual chair. Nabiki smirked as she took a seat across from me.  
  
"With the faculty as firmly embedded in my pocket as I have them, school isn't the requirement people like to pretend it is. At least, not to me."  
  
"Cute. If you're expecting a reprimand, you're going to find yourself wanting; I did something similar, myself."  
  
"Oh? Somehow that surprises me less than it might have..."  
  
"I'm touched. Something I can do for you?"  
  
"Maybe..." She glanced around the restaurant briefly, before retuning her gaze to me, "as per our agreement, I've held off my friends from seeking their... 'protection payments,' but I don't have control of them..."  
  
"You like trailing off and letting others mentally finish your sentences, don't you?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Yeah, I can do that, too. Only I don't like the way it makes me sound flighty. Doesn't suit you, either, unless... Do you prefer looking like an airhead?" She scowled at me, and I grinned, "Thought not. Still, you've yet to tell me what you want."  
  
"Want? I came to warn you that, despite our agreement, the Yakuza will be here soon to establish... 'business' relations with you and Miss Kuonji."  
  
"How thoughtful of you."  
  
"Most people tend to offer a favor in return for a favor rendered," Nabiki said, frowning at me.  
  
"I'm sure they do. But I get the feeling extending such an offer would be unwise, considering our last meeting. So unless you'd like to ask a favor, I'll chalk this up as you keeping up your end of our bargain. Call it a 'friendly tip-off.'"  
  
"How astute. Are you certain you'd not like to work with me?"  
  
"As much as a life of swindling the masses appeals to my darker side, I'd prefer not to form a working relationship that would inevitably bring me into a certain 'protection-offering' organization."  
  
"..." Nabiki opened her mouth, and then closed it, frowning. Glancing at the door, she leveled her gaze at me, "alright, let's cut the crap."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"You and Kuonji have stepped on a couple toes here in Nerima, and there's a rumor that someone big in Osaka is looking for a couple that match your description."  
  
I frowned at her, then glanced out the window, thinking. Ukyo and I hadn't found out what happened to the three we'd run through the Police station, but if they were actively seeking us out, I could imagine how irked they'd be. Here, however, aside from the two in the hotel, the couple in the streets, and that street gang... and Akane- we'd...  
  
"Guess I have been giving myself a name, huh?" I asked, grinning at her. Nabiki frowned, but nodded.  
  
"So, why are you telling me all this? I mean, really. This is almost a complete 180 from what I remember."  
  
"Honestly?"  
  
"No," I said, sarcastically, "Lie to me."  
  
"I've been ordered by the President of the USA to form a-"  
  
"The truth, then," I interrupted.  
  
Nabiki smirked, "The Yakuza is a good way to ensure cooperation, but..."  
  
"...But?"  
  
"But you're the first person I know that they're seriously intent on killing... I'm not comfortable with that."  
  
"What?" I asked, nearly shouting. Before she could respond, I continued, "You were about to unleash your gorilla sister, a gang of street toughs, and two Yakuza henchmen on us with nary a thought, but you don't like the idea that we could get shot?"  
  
Nabiki scowled and nodded stiffly, once.  
  
"Oh, god. I don't believe this. 'Ice Queen' with a heart... or maybe a side of heart."  
  
"Hey! Don't go making assumptions based on rumors."  
  
"So your presence here is purely moral?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"How much money are you making off Ukyo's morning fights?"  
  
Nabiki's eyes didn't widen, but her breath faltered for a moment, and I nodded, "Thought so. You're just as bad as I figured you were."  
  
Nabiki stood, and crossed her arms, staring down at me, "I have my priorities straight."  
  
"What? Live to spend?"  
  
Nabiki's scowl deepened, "even if that WAS my outlook on life, at least I'd know I've taken care of the 'live' part."  
  
"Nice... Here's how it goes, Tendo: you keep your end of the bargain, and I'll worry about me. Got it?"  
  
"There is a slight problem with our bargain," Nabiki said, darkly.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"You are no longer able to enforce it."  
  
I frowned, "Is that a threat?"  
  
"No, Kyle, it's a fact. I now have at my disposal one of the best martial artists in-"  
  
"Ranma Saotome."  
  
"I'm glad you remember him.. he and his father were rather upset by that stunt you two pulled when they first arrived in town..."  
  
I chuckled, "no different than the entrance Ukyo and I got, entering this wonderful suburb."  
  
"Well, with Ranma firmly pocketed, and your 'prince' currently out of the country, I can only see one outcome to any.. 'hostile' negotiations..."  
  
"Willing to put your money where your mouth is?" I growled.  
  
Nabiki smirked, "kinky. I doubt my fiancée would approve, however."  
  
I snorted, "your fiancée, huh? This might actually be interesting..."  
  
"To me, perhaps... you and your little chef will probably think otherwise, however."  
  
I shrugged, "indeed we might; but then again, we might not."  
  
"Now who's sounding flighty?" Nabiki muttered.  
  
I smiled, "be that as it may," I said in English, grinning as her gaze came unhinged as she worked that out. While she did, I continued in Japanese, "I'd not be so quick to put all your eggs in one basket."  
  
"Cliché. Or should I say, 'touché?'" Nabiki drawled, the hint of a grin at the corners of her mouth.  
  
"No matter what, no one can ever accuse you of not possessing a keen wit, Nabiki," I said, standing to open the door for her.  
  
"You're pretty quick on your feet yourself, Mr. Boitet. It's a shame the Yakuza wants you dead, Akane wants you broken, Ranma wants you mangled, and I want you humiliated."  
  
"At least I know people care," I smirked at her, "Have a horrible day." I placed my hand on the flat of her back and shoved, not enough to send her to the ground, but she stumbled and windmilled her arms before regaining her balance in the middle of the street. She glared at me once more, then straightened her shirt before strolling away, as if nothing had happened.  
  
After checking the table for bugs or anything else Nabiki was often accused of doing, I started preparing the place to open. Ukyo walked in grinning a while later, and I quickly told her about my phone call. And my visitor.  
  
"That sneaky... Grrr... What a pain in the ass."  
  
"Tell me about it. How was school?"  
  
"It sucked. All the girls went nuts over Ranma, who acted like he was some sort of god. He didn't even recognize me."  
  
"Didn't you try to talk to him?"  
  
"Not really. I doubt I could have without hitting him. Besides, his eyes were... wrong."  
  
"Wrong?"  
  
"Well, kind of," Ukyo shifted from foot to foot nervously.  
  
"How so," I asked, motioning her to the grill.  
  
"Just... cold. Kind of like Nabiki's were, when she thought she had us."  
  
"You sure they weren't just vacant?"  
  
Ukyo snorted at that, before taking over preparing the grill. The afternoon went by quickly after that, business as usual, and the end of the day approached steadily.  
  
After we were closed and cleaned up, We sat across from each other, Ukyo continuing our conversation from that afternoon.  
  
"He's... nothing like what you described."  
  
I sat back with a sigh, shrugging, "There's a switch. Imagine if I was actually right about something!"  
  
"Oh, shut up... that's not my point. You've been right about some things, so don't start bitching about that 'Alternate Universe' stuff again."  
  
"Why not? Maybe the 'Thunder will make a brief stopover here..."  
  
"The.. huh?"  
  
"Nothing, just. never mind. So, he's different, you say?"  
  
"Yeah, he's confident, but he's got this sort of... arrogance, or something. He's not as nice and innocent and shy as your.. err.. that 'other' Ranma was supposed to be."  
  
"Hmm.. sounds like a Ranma this Nabiki could get into... no wonder they're engaged."  
  
"Oh? They don't seem to be all that close.. but I haven't really been watching."  
  
"I don't blame you... how are the morning fights?" I asked, standing up. Ukyo followed me out back, where we started stretching.  
  
"Boring. Nobody's anywhere near my level, and even if Ranma was, he's not interested in Akane, so he just sits there and watches."  
  
"Okay... well.. I'm of the impression that Ranma's lack of interest is going to come to an end soon... after this afternoon's conversation with Nabiki, I'm seeing us headed towards a fight in the near future... not to mention you have to battle your father's teacher in a couple days for independence."  
  
"Oh! That reminds me! I was trying to find a way to build up that speed- punching thing we can do, and I think I might have something."  
  
"Not pissing off a nest of hornets, I hope?"  
  
"Horne- why the HELL would I want to do that?"  
  
"Err... accuracy training."  
  
"We're already pretty accurate. No, I was thinking about adding power to the punches."  
  
"Oh? Hmm.. Yeah, I can see that. Each individual punch is weaker than a regular punch, it's just the combina-"  
  
"Kyle, I know how it works."  
  
"Sorry, just thinking out loud."  
  
"It's alright. Here, since we can already do it, what if we start doing it with weights in our hand, to build up the strength in each individual hit?"  
  
I thought about that for a moment. While the Amiguriken was devastating if enough hits landed, it would be nice to punch once at Amiguriken speed and give it as much power as a standard punch. Of course, of we could give them the power of a haymaker or something, that'd be nice, too...  
  
"Sounds reasonable. What do you suggest?"  
  
"Well, I think my Battle Spatula would work relatively well."  
  
"Yeah, plus the sharp edge would be devastating if you poked someone with it at those speeds..." Ukyo nodded, obviously having already thought about that.  
  
I grinned, then looked around, before shrugging, "I suppose I'll do that as well... Two attacks for the price of one."  
  
Ukyo nodded, then unslung her spatula, and holding it out before her with one hand. After watching her slowly lunge and retract the weapon, I turned towards the pit my earlier explosion had created. Frowning at the crater, I made my way into it, sitting down comfortable, and deciding to give it another try, hoping I wouldn't do anything as horribly wrong as before.  
  
Feeling the ball of energy I knew was my Ki, I began mentally pulling at it, only succeeding in pulling tendrils of it away, before letting them fall back into the ball harmlessly. How to grab hold of the entire thing and pull it out? Without, I amended as I felt myself begin to slip into depression, using emotions.  
  
For a moment I sat there, concentrating on nothing but the way the ball of energy seemed to pulse with my heartbeat. Thinking back to all the times I'd seen aura's spring up, they usually did under certain circumstances. Anger was the most common, powering up the next, and finally, when Herb had demonstrated calling it up, it had been more of a 'just because' aura.  
  
Could I, I mused, work my way from anger, which appeared the easiest, to doing it on a whim, which I'd rarely seen done? Probably, but Herb had hinted that that was an unnecessarily lengthy path. So there should be a way to do it with just a bit of practice, right?  
  
Concentrating, I began trying different mental exercises, poling at the bell in one way, twisting it another, even imagining blowing air inside it, to blow it up like a balloon. When none of these did anything other than twist it out of shape momentarily, I focused harder, and tried gently pulling the top layer out in multiple places.  
  
The outermost layer did rise, this time, but most of it was bowed inward, dozens of tiny points sticking out, like looking at a circus tent from above. Sighing, I let the prickly-looking ball collapse back into it's smooth spheroid shape, and opened my eyes for a moment to watch Ukyo.  
  
The chef was currently thrusting the spatula slowly, rapidly pulling it back in, and then thrusting slowly again, apparently working on keeping her accuracy and not over extend her self and hurt her arms. Watching for a minute or so, I shook my head when I realized I should be working as well, and not staring at my friend.  
  
Closing my eyes, I again looked inside at the ball of Ki, then started as I realized that, while I looked at it, I was staring, in a sense, at myself, as if I were outside myself. Could I look at the ball from within? Frowning, I concentrated a bit more, trying to shift my focus from the outside-looking-in, to the inside, looking out. When my perception shifted, I almost cried out as I saw thousands of points of light moving around rapidly, all of them weaving around and through each other in an intricate dance I had no hope of describing to anyone who hadn't seen it for themselves.  
  
"What-the?" I mumbled, shifting my attention around and watching as slowly streams and waves began to appear in the chaos, an almost rhythmic motion resolving itself to the beat of my heart, which I realized was pounding in my ears. Finally tearing my focus from the incredibly intricate dance, I decided to pull back somewhat, and see if I could find the outer-layer I was intent on expanding.  
  
As the dots shrank into a bright blob similar to the larger one my attention was currently within, I tore my gaze from it, and once again found myself startled at what I perceived. It was almost like I was in the middle of an ocean, invisible waves gently rocking me in place, though I couldn't 'feel' anything around me other than a gentle flowing warmth.  
  
Turning my gaze outward once again, I realized I was still inside, but at a much larger point, and I still had to go a bit larger. Focusing again on pulling back my perspective, the ocean of warmth compressed around me, and I suddenly felt my perception blocked by something. All around was a thick layer of light, and I gasped as I finally understood what I was looking at. The outer-layer.  
  
Wondering how to proceed, a million ideas flashing through my head, I tried pushing it, similar to the pulling I'd done from the outside. Instead of forcing a tendril to extend from the ball like I'd done before, the entire area around where I'd pushed rose, like a bubble on the surface of soapy water. When I stopped pushing, it sank back down gently, instead of popping like I'd assumed it would.  
  
Turning my attention inward for a moment, I concentrated, then pushed as many palaces as I could at once, feeling a grin form as the outer layer began to expand as it had before, this time without using emotions. Still, it wasn't perfect, and I could sense some areas were further than others. Before I expanded out much, I collapsed it again, wondering how to focus on every part at once, as opposed to multiple points.  
  
Prodding at the inner surface of the layer again, I wondered what would happen if I expanded my awareness slowly inside the layer, and just let it hang there, instead of my focus. Slowly, I felt my awareness grow, and suddenly Ukyo's startled yelp reached my ears, and I opened my eyes, to see her staring at me.  
  
You.. you're doing it!"  
  
"I.. Augh!" I glanced down at the ground, where loose dirt was radiating away from me in waves, a gentle wind apparently pushing them away from me. A dim white-ish light glittered off the smoother surfaces, and I felt myself grin as I realized what I had to do to get this to happen.  
  
"I... I did it." I said, in awe. Ukyo nodded, a happy smile on her face, and I held out my hand, the slightly visible (but unmistakable) battle aura currently surrounding it, like a second skin. Closing my eyes again, I shrunk my awareness down, finally feeling myself back in the ocean I'd felt myself within before. Now, to get out of this without blowing my aura out again. Deciding to reverse what I'd done, I tried to shift my perception outside the ball if Ki, and suddenly I was there, the ball once again floating before me. Quickly pulling out of that mental state, I opened my eyes, and grinned at the stunned Ukyo.  
  
"What'd you DO?"  
  
"I..." I paused, trying to figure out how to best explain what just happened. Shrugging, I decided to try my best, "I shifted my focus from outside the ball of Ki to the inside, and then expanded my awareness until I was back out of the little trance we go into. The Ki grew around me, and that's how it came out. Then when I shifted my focus back inside the ball, it shrank, and I sort of shifted my focus to outside the ball again, before coming back out of the trance again."  
  
Ukyo blinked.  
  
"I did it!" I said, jumping to my feet, before wobbling unsteadily. My legs had fallen asleep again. I begin to walk, wincing as the pins and needles replaced the weakening numbness.  
  
"So... huh..." Ukyo mumbled, staring off into space. I made my way over to her, and gave her a hug, before slipping inside. I emerged a moment later with a couple glasses of water, one of which Ukyo happily accepted.  
  
"Well, after this, you want to trade places? My arms are too sore to hold the spatula anymore, and I'd like to try that, now that you've discovered the right way to do it."  
  
I nodded, taking a sip before stretching my legs again, "Sounds like a plan, though we should probably practice the aura thing a couple more times once you get it... It took me a while to figure out how to do it, and undo it, and Herb could do it in an instant."  
  
"He's been doing it for years, though."  
  
"True, but I bet he got faster with practice. Be nice to be able to summon it without having to shut yourself off from the world for a minute or two."  
  
Ukyo snorted, then climbed down into the crater, smirking at me before collapsing into a meditative pose.  
  
Scooping up the spatula that was resting up against the fence, our break apparently over, I began doing the lunges Ukyo had taught to me, the arm motions the most similar to those in a standard punch. After getting the feel of the spatula as it sliced and twisted through the air, I slowly began to speed the lunges up, wincing as the weight of the spatula fought my muscles and tried to fully extend my arm, or pull it back behind me.  
  
After a couple minutes, my arm was killing me, testament to the number of times inertia and momentum had beaten me. Still, forearmed was forewarned, and after a moments rest to let aching joints cool down a bit, I began copying the motions Ukyo had been doing before, immediately feeling the usefulness of this exercise as I only had to fight physics in one direction.  
  
After fifteen minutes or so, I reversed the procedure, confident my arm knew how to halt the spatulas weight in the most efficient manner. The initial lung was harder, as there was very little room for error, and I was careful, killing the force of the lunge well before my arm was fully extended. Finally, I felt like I had a pretty good idea of what to expect, and I set the spatula down for a moment to give my arm a brief rest.  
  
Of course, I mused silently, I'd have to do this with my left arm, so I don't end up dependant on my right, but that was relatively easy, I knew, and while I'd never call myself ambidextrous, I was confident I'd do fine there. Turning towards the seated Ukyo, I watched her for a moment, wondering how she was doing.  
  
Sweat beaded her forehead, and her mouth was drawn into a thin line, but the determined look on her face made it obvious she was working hard. Time would tell if she was doing the right things. Still...  
  
With a start, I realized I'd been staring at Ukyo's concentrating figure for a few minutes, and I tore my gaze from her to stare up at the twinkling stares. What the hell was wrong with me? She's... well, not that much younger than me, all things considered, but still! Despite her protests to the contrary, and my assurances that I didn't care, I still felt uneasy with the thought of being with her in any sort of relationship...  
  
Or maybe I wasn't. Looking towards the west, I wondered if I was actually afraid of loosing her. Was that it? I jumped onto the fence and began a simple Kata I'd throw together for times where I was fairly certain I'd be losing myself in thought.  
  
What would I lose? 'That depends,' I thought to myself. If our sudden relationship ended, we'd lose some, but if something were to happen to Ukyo... I shuddered, freezing atop the fence for a moment, before I resumed my Kata, a frown now adorning my face.  
  
If something happened to her, I'd be rather devastated, wouldn't I? 'Even if it weren't your fault?' a voice in the back of my head asked, softly. I nodded once, wondering why I even bothered asking myself that. It was fairly obvious she worried about me, wasn't it? So it went without saying that I loved her back.  
  
I nearly fell off the fence as I thought that. "Whoa," I mumbled, regaining my balance, and retuning my focus to the world around me. Did I love Ukyo? It was a big step, admitting to yourself that 'like' had become 'love.' And, of course, admitting that to a person was also a big step.  
  
Turning towards the girl in question, I DID fall off the fence as I realized she was glowing a soft white, much like the glow I'd been giving off earlier.  
  
"You did It!" I said, climbing to my feet and trying to wipe the dirt off my face.  
  
--===--  
  
Sitting in front of the computer I'd finally managed to procure, I slowly made my way through an internet hundreds of times smaller than I was used to. Without any of the newer languages for web pages, I was stuck browsing sites I could have made with my rather limited understanding of HTML. And of course, there was the other thing that seemed unusually abundant on almost all mid-ninety's web sites.  
  
"Is that supposed to be music?"  
  
"It tries, Ukyo," I muttered, turning down the speakers. MIDI music.  
  
"It fails, Kyle," Ukyo responded, turning to look at the pile of paperwork nearby. "So your finished digitizing all this?" she asked, after a moment.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Great. So... now what?"  
  
"I was just browsing... looking for something interesting before I logged off."  
  
"You're all ready to go, then?"  
  
I nodded, shutting the system down before standing and grinning at her, "ready when you are."  
  
She smirked, before turning to the door, her uniform looking brand-new. Today was the day. Hopefully, Ukyo would gain her.. well, actually, I still wasn't sure what she was going to earn, other than something that would allow her to learn a lot more.  
  
"What exactly are you going to be fighting for?"  
  
Ukyo paused in the doorway, then grinned at me, "I didn't really explain everything, did I?"  
  
I paused, taken aback by the way her smile wasn't as friendly as usual. Finally, I shook my head.  
  
"Well," she said, handing me a bag that was a lot heavier than it looked, "Basically, this is a test to become a master of my school and grants me the ability to form a separate branch."  
  
"Sort of like the Saotome and Tendo Schools of Anything Goes?" I asked, as we locked the doors and headed for the train station.  
  
"Somewhat," Ukyo replied, frowning at the mention of Ranma's school, "but this will be on paper, as opposed to two students ambushing their master... what'd you say his name was again?"  
  
"I didn't," I replied, unwilling to look a gift horse in the mouth.  
  
Ukyo shrugged and continued, "well, like I said, it'll be on paper that I've learned all that there is to learn from my teachers, and further learning will come from insight or external sources."  
  
"How.. wordy," I mused, earning a quick glare before she turned down another street.  
  
"Anyway, I've got to prove my skill at the Art in general, my skill at my particular School's style... and my teaching ability."  
  
"So you're going to have to teach someone how to do something?" I asked, wondering how long this trip was going to take.  
  
"No, that's what you're here for. You're not as experienced as someone who's been doing it for years, but you have the skill, and the comprehension... and I doubt you'll have a problem with speed."  
  
I froze, "wait a minute.. you mean I have to fight your father's teacher?" I asked, suddenly liking this idea much less.  
  
Ukyo rolled her eyes, before making her way up to the ticket booth and purchasing two tickets. After a moment, I joined her again, feeling somewhat cheated.  
  
"You could have at least suggested I wear something appropriate," I mumbled, staring down at my clothes. Black pants and a black cotton shirt over a long-sleeved gray button-up shirt... not confining, but certainly not something you fight a master martial artist in.  
  
"If you'd shown up wearing something you were obviously uncomfortable in, they might underestimate you."  
  
I groaned, "Pity.. I might've had a chance that way."  
  
Ukyo punched my arm, but only lightly, "Hush. You've learned a lot from me. Don't doubt your skill."  
  
"I suppose.. anything else I should know, before I go into this?" I asked as the train pulled to a halt. The entire trip had been quiet and thought- provoking, though the few times I glanced at Ukyo, she seemed to be concentrating. Psyching herself up, maybe?  
  
"Sure, don't kill anyone, and if you have to use a special move, make sure you don't do any permanent damage."  
  
"Oh.. well, aside from the obvious, I meant," I said, rolling my eyes. While we'd not been able to get more than a couple high-speed lunges with the battle spatula, with three mini-spatulas between our fingers, the Amiguriken became something much more dangerous, as our training dummies had found out. Fortunately, the training had increased the power of each individual punch, so long as it connected. Unfortunately, if it didn't, arresting the momentum threw our rhythm off somewhat.  
  
Ukyo looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook her head, "nope." Glancing at the address of the building she'd stopped in front of, she nodded, "this is it."  
  
Looking at the building, I was impressed with the size of the structure, and the way it seemed to be made entirely out of wood.  
  
"It's been a long time since I was here," Ukyo said quietly, before entering through the gate. What happened next was probably something I should have expected, but sadly had not prepared for; Ceremony.  
  
After what felt like hours of long-winded speeches and important-yet-boring carry-overs from ages past, Ukyo was drawn into another room, and I was told to sit and rest comfortably as she faced the first of her two challenges.  
  
"So... This 'three-challenge' system, is it based on a best-two-out-of- three system, or is it all-or-nothing?" I asked the elderly man sitting across from me. He'd been present during the speeches, as well, but hadn't said much, and my attention had wandered by then to the point that anything said to or by him was utterly missed.  
  
"You're Kuonji's pupil?"  
  
"Yessir."  
  
"What's your name, boy?"  
  
"I'm most definitely not a boy," I said, standing. Looking down at him, I felt a little stupid for acting so arrogant, but I wasn't a mere kid, and I didn't particularly feel like being treated as one.  
  
The old man chuckled, then waved at me to sit back down, "I can see that, now. I apologize, your posture failed somewhat in conveying your stature."  
  
"Ahh," I said, nonplussed. Finally, I shrugged, "It's okay. I'm Kyle Boitet."  
  
"Mr. Boitet... definitely not from around here, then."  
  
I frowned, "You couldn't tell just by looking at me?" I asked, then continued before he could respond, "look, I know I'm a foreigner, and the Art is something special to you, but I enjoy it just as much as the next person, and it doesn't have to be Japanese blood flowing through my veins to make an effective practitioner of Martial Arts."  
  
"I would never assume as much. I once trained an American like yourself in the Art... though she was not nearly as tall as you are."  
  
"Err.. Oh," I said, eloquently. Didn't I feel stupid?  
  
"Relax, Mr. Boitet. I've been around long enough to overcome the trappings of my society... and see the way different people get stereotyped against their nature."  
  
"Well.. that's.. Thanks," I said, unsure just what I was supposed to say.  
  
"At least you have the common decency to thank me."  
  
"Err... thanks?" I asked, even more confused, now.  
  
"Now you're repeating yourself."  
  
"..." I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it abruptly when I realized there wasn't much of a point in saying anything.  
  
After a few more minutes of silence, I glanced around the small room and wondered why such a large building was utterly devoid of books, magazines, or a television set. Then again, this was a training hall, so maybe the waiting rooms in such here in Japan didn't cater to impatient parents who were more interested in world politics than their bodies.  
  
Staring down at the small pond in the center of the room, I watched the fish swim a couple laps, before turning my attention towards the room Ukyo and the man I assumed was her father's teacher had disappeared into. Occasional thuds or shouts could be heard coming from within, but for the most part, it was oddly quiet. That, or the walls were exceptionally soundproofed.  
  
"So.. how long does this kind of thing usually take?" I asked, turning back to the man.  
  
"That depends on the skill of the combatants. However, in this case, I don't think the wait should be much longer."  
  
"Keen," I muttered in English, turning my attention back to the fish. A moment later Ukyo rounded a corner, looking battered, but beaming.  
  
"You did it?" I asked, standing up to give her my seat. She collapsed into it, nodding for a moment before wiping the sweat from her brow.  
  
"It's your turn, now, Kyle. Be careful, It's not going to be as easy as we thought."  
  
"Err.. Alrighty," I said, glancing at the door she'd left. Taking off my watch, over shirt, and dumping out my pockets, I handed the large collection of things to Ukyo, then headed back the way she'd come.  
  
"Mr. Boitet, your fight lies this way," the elderly man said, having made his way to another door. Blinking, I glanced at Ukyo, who was using my shirt to wipe the sweat from her face, then shrugged, making my way into the room he'd revealed.  
  
Standing in the doorway, I blinked as I recognized it.  
  
"This... this looks like the dojo from the Matrix!" I said.  
  
"The what?"  
  
"Err.. movie reference," I muttered, waving it off. Still, looking at the tatami mats, the wooden support beams, and the yellowish light filtering in through the higher windows, I briefly closed my eyes and imagined the fight between Neo and Morpheus taking place in this room.  
  
"Well now, Mr. Boitet, it seems that it's now your turn. You asked before whether this was an all-or-nothing test. It is."  
  
I sighed, having hoped otherwise, but preparing for this.  
  
"It's all on me, then," I said, stretching the kinks out I'd gotten from sitting. Glancing up at him, I opened my mouth to ask who my opponent would be, then frowned, "You're my opponent, aren't you?"  
  
"As the Grandmaster of this School, it is my right to pick my fights," he said, grinning. Suddenly, he didn't look quite so old, and I wondered just what, exactly, I was in for.  
  
"So, I suppose you're ready to begin, despite protocol," he asked when I dropped into my standard fighting stance.  
  
"Well, I've never been much for pomp and circumstance when action was the inevitable outcome," I muttered, though I dropped the stance.  
  
"A pity, It's a nice song if played correctly," he said, grinning. Dropping back into a stance of his own, he waited for me to get over that, before waving me forward.  
  
"Here goes," I muttered to myself, before charging him.  
  
At the last minute I dropped, intent on sweeping his legs out from beneath him, but he'd crouched as well, so I tried to kick him in the head, and wondered if that was legal. Instead of connecting, the old man had sprung away, flipping over my extended leg and coming down near a wall, where he pulled a large battle spatula from a rack.  
  
"If you require a weapon, feel free to take one," he said, making his way back towards the center of the dojo. I glanced at the wall of weapons partially hidden in their dark recess, then shrugged, and turned back to the old man.  
  
"Not just yet," I said, charging again. Instead of anything tricky, I tried an extremely powerful (and extremely obvious) street fighting punch, and the old man did what I expected, moving his spatula to block it with the flat side. When the punch connected, I pivoted, lessening the power of the impact, and dropped into a crouch again, before using the spin to sweep his legs out from under him again. While the spatula did a great job of blocking most attacks, it also blocked your vision, and the old man went down, though he hit the ground rolling, which took a lot of the point out of the sweep.  
  
"You seem to enjoy sweeps," he said, his eyes twinkling as he looked at me over the spatula.  
  
"They work," I said, smirking. Charging again, I feigned a punch with my left, then snapped my leg out, only to have the kick blocked by the spatula. Deciding the large weapon had to go, I jumped back and frowned, wondering how to effectively go about doing that.  
  
Ukyo's speed was a little ways over mine, but I had, to my immense satisfaction, an edge over her in accuracy, and knew that I could use it effectively here, if I got the right opportunity. Remembering all the ways to block with the large battle spatula Ukyo'd drilled into me, I realized with a smirk one of the few weaknesses such a defensive posture presented, and lunged, knowing how to carry out my plan.  
  
Quickly putting the old man on the defensive with a series of high kicks and punches, I suddenly started up the Amiguriken, aiming for the exposed fingers wrapped around the handle. While the exposed area was flat and could take a bit of punishment, the flurry of heavy punches, their unexpected speed, and the way I repeatedly hit the same two inner fingers with my own knuckles shocked the old man into letting go, and I snap kicked the loose spatula up, where it stuck into the ceiling of the Dojo.  
  
"Did you have to get it stuck there?" The Grandmaster of Ukyo's school asked, glancing up at the spatula for a moment, before looking down at his hand and wincing.  
  
"Quite a move you've got there," he said, shaking it for a moment, "looks like I'll have to get serious myself, now."  
  
I winced at that, stepping over to the wall of weapons and collecting a few of the smaller throwing spatulas I preferred.  
  
"I'm happy to see your familiar with the school's weapons," he said, watching me. Glancing over my shoulder as I tucked all but two into my belt, I shrugged, "It's not that I'm unfamiliar, I just didn't feel right using them," I responded, truthfully.  
  
Approaching the old man again, I crouched, this time my stance much more defensive in nature, and I waved him at me, the two spatulas held backwards in each of my hands like fighting knives.  
  
"an interesting hold," he mumbled, before charging. Blocking the first few swings were relatively easy, but suddenly he started kicking, and I frowned at the force behind each kick, surprised at how far into each one I had to lean or risk losing my balance. Smirking, I crouched a little lower and began blocking with the arm closer to my wrist, where the sharpened spatulas were waiting for their first chance to catch an unwary arm or leg.  
  
The grandmaster kicked, and I smiled slightly when I felt the spatula bite into flesh, a moment before he hopped back, blood flowing from a shallow cut on the side of his leg near the ankle.  
  
"And an even more interesting use of those spatulas.. I've not seen them used like that in years," he said, grinning. I shrugged, "Ukyo taught that to me." Actually, she'd used it on me, and I'd learned to watch out for it since, but it was the same thing, practically.  
  
"Interesting... I think we'll have one more go at it, before I've seen enough to decide," The man said, still smiling.  
  
"No holding back, eh?" I asked, wondering if I had much else to rely on. A moment later, we collided in midair, my punch dodged, and his kick blocked. For the next few minutes we moved randomly throughout the room, his experience helping him when my Amiguriken speed would have otherwise overwhelmed, and my ability to put the hand-held spatulas in most openings keeping him from exploiting most of the gaps I had in my defenses.  
  
Finally, there was a pause, and I swung, my remaining two spatulas held in place between my fingers, while at the same time the old man struck, a powerful kick I had no chance of dodging, but tried to anyway.  
  
Instead of dodging the hits, I ended up slicing two parallel cuts in his leg, and his kick caught me in the chest, knocking me on my ass, and bruising the ribs below.  
  
Wincing at the sudden lack of breath, I looked up as a shadow settled over me, and saw the old man standing over me, his hand extended.  
  
"Looks like I've still got a bit of training to do," I said, taking it and standing up.  
  
"On the contrary, I've got some new scars to brag to my grandchildren about," he replied, still smiling.  
  
"Yeah.. I'm sorry about that, I'm usually not so..." I paused, unsure of what, exactly, best described fighting with the bladed weapons.  
  
"Lethal?" the old man asked, summing it up quite effectively. I nodded, glancing at the bloodied weapons, then his equally bloody leg.  
  
"I'm really sorry, I wasn't thinking about things, and-" I paused when he placed his hand on my shoulder to silence me.  
  
"You went all out, like we agreed. That you didn't hold back shows me that you fight to win, and you took me seriously. A Teacher could ask for no more or no less from a pupil."  
  
"I.. Err... Okay?"  
  
The Grandmaster smiled again, then tore off most of the leg of his gi, quickly tying it around the deeper cut in his thigh. Making his way over to the younger man who had fought Ukyo, he spoke quietly for a moment, then nodded, before heading back my way.  
  
I wiped the sweat that was threatening to drip into my eyes away, then blinked as Ukyo appeared beside me staring straight ahead.  
  
"Kuonji-san..." The Grandmaster started, then paused, frowning for a second before continuing, "Ukyo, I remember you at your first lesson, before your family business moved away. The Determination I saw in you then is just as strong in you now, and it shows in your student, and in you. That you managed to impress my apprentice, and your student nearly held his own against me is proof enough that you've completed two of the three requirements."  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ukyo's posture slip just enough to indicate her relief at, and I frowned, knowing we weren't out of the woods yet. Or so I thought.  
  
"As you know, this is enough to grant your Master's status. However, -" He started, before I interrupted him.  
  
"I thought you said she had to do all thr-" I was cut off as Ukyo quickly and effectively shut me up with a powerful slap to the back of the head. The Grandmaster chuckled before continuing, "However, I've been told you wish to be able to branch off and form your own school of Martial Arts. To do this, you will have to pass the final test... or, should I make this interesting?"  
  
"...Sir?" Ukyo asked, obviously surprised.  
  
"I'd normally ask for an Okonomiyaki, as it is a cornerstone of the school's foundation. However, with your American student here, I think maybe a slight modification to the test would spice things up quite nicely."  
  
The old man's apprentice gasped, and Ukyo wobbled, apparently taken aback by the change. Not knowing how big a change it was, I merely stood there, hoping he didn't want something as difficult as a homemade pizza.  
  
"So, what do you want?" I asked, when the pause grew exceptionally lengthy. Ukyo reached out to slap me, but the Grandmaster's voice froze her hand mid- strike.  
  
"Whatever you like."  
  
"... anything?" Ukyo asked, incredulously. The old man nodded.  
  
"Oh, well.. that's not too bad. I make an awesome cup ramen," I said, a moment before the spatula in the ceiling fell on my head. Groaning and climbing slowly to my feet, managed to catch the old man's only condition.  
  
"It has to be an American meal, however. American or European."  
  
"..." I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Ukyo looked at me for a moment, then back at the Grandmaster, who was smiling.  
  
"Well you two, hurry up! You have until tomorrow night to prepare a meal fit for a king!"  
  
"..." Ukyo and I said, together this time. The old man suddenly hobbled out the door, and I looked at Ukyo for a moment before shrugging.  
  
"I can make a pretty decent Pork Tenderloin," I said, slowly. She nodded, "Think a salad would go well with that?"  
  
"Caesar or Garden?"  
  
--===--  
  
The next evening, The tables was set, and Grandmaster Fuyutsuki (I'd finally learned his name, thankfully while he wasn't around to hear my brief shout of surprise) sat down, eyeing the dishes warily, though the perpetual smile didn't fall from his face.  
  
"And what have we here?"  
  
Stepping forward, I began listing off the dinner, in order; "The appetizer tonight is going to be shrimp in cocktail sauce, followed by chunky beef stew with veggi-" Ukyo's elbow interrupted me, and she continues for me, "- vegetables. After which there will be a Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad, followed by Davis Island Pork Tenderloin with a side of steamed asparagus."  
  
Picking up there, I completed the list, "Dessert is the classic chocolate cake, or, in this case, a chocolate cupcake."  
  
"Hmm," the Grandmaster said, glancing at the door behind which we'd worked on the meal almost non-stop. The appetizer had been the easiest, while Ukyo had taken care of the salad and soup. I'd worked on the main course and the dinner rolls which currently sat on the table beside a stick of soft butter. Together, the two of us had poured over a half-dozen recipes for chocolate cake until we found one that sounded right (and with readily available ingredients).  
  
I quickly ducked through the door and grabbed the appetizer dish, careful not to disturb it's picturesque appearance, and set it before the older man, who stared at it for a moment then grinned.  
  
"And to drink?" he asked, pointing towards the glass of red wine.  
  
"An '89 Merlot," I said, hoping that was impressive sounding. It wasn't the cheapest, but it wasn't the most expensive, either. I just hoped the guy behind the counter had been right in his recommendation.  
  
Nodding and taking a sip, his grin grew a little, and he set the glass aside and began to dig into the appetizer. When he neared completion, Ukyo disappeared into the kitchen, emerging a minute later with the soup. As she moved to set it down, I pulled the empty appetizer dish away at the last minute, and his just-emptied dish was replaced with a full one.  
  
"Nicely done," he said, taking his soup spoon and trying the steaming liquid.  
  
"Hmm, this is canned, isn't it?" He asked, before spooning up a second mouthful.  
  
Ukyo and I glanced at each other, then I shrugged, "It's heavily modified to help hide that. I couldn't find any fresh beef stock."  
  
"Well... you did an adequate job of it, don't beat yourselves up too bad. If you were staying in the area, I'd tell you a couple out-of-the-way places that have a decent stock of stock," he said, looking at the soup for a moment before taking a couple more bites.  
  
When the soup was pushed away, Ukyo scooped it up and disappeared with the dish as I placed the salad before him. I, personally, despised salads of any type, but it was a part of a five-course meal, and therefore, it was my duty to serve it, even if I would never eat it.  
  
"Not a salad person, eh?" he asked, sampling the salad dressing before digging in.  
  
"I'm just not much for rabbit food, I guess," I replied, softly. Ukyo snorted softly at that, and I shrugged at her as the Grandmaster finished his salad.  
  
"Excellent. The chicken was a nice addition," he said as the salad plate was whisked away.  
  
In the kitchen, I checked to ensure the Pork wasn't undercooked, then pulled it out from the oven, slicing it as evenly as I could. Placing the slices on the presentation plate as best I could, I glanced at Ukyo, who was setting up the plate of steamed asparagus. When she and I had finished setting it up so it looked really nice and edible, We both carried the plates out, setting them before the Grandmaster, who had apparently helped himself to a roll while we were away.  
  
Glancing at the dishes, then the cooks, Grandmaster Fuyutsuki placed a bit of both onto his plate.  
  
"Interesting," he muttered as he snagged one of the tenderloin slices with his fork and looked at it.  
  
"'Davis Island,' you said?" He asked, looking at Ukyo. She nodded, then pointed at me, "It was his idea," she said, grinning.  
  
"Well, so far everything's been edible," he said, before taking a bite. He blinked, then began to chew, finally swallowing and taking a sip of his wine.  
  
"Err..." I said, unsure whether or not that was a good thing.  
  
"Now THAT, dear boy, is what cooking food is all about," he said, smiling widely. Looking over at Ukyo, he smirked, "I assume you haven't tried this yet?"  
  
"No, I trusted Kyle's suggestion, despite the odd name," she said. The Old man grabbed a plate from one of the unused spaces and quickly tossed a slice on it, then held it out to Ukyo.  
  
"I'll pretend I didn't see it," he said, when she took it from him hesitantly. Ukyo nodded and took a bite, her eyes widening as she did so.  
  
"Good isn't it?" I asked, smirking. Doubt my cooking.  
  
"Umph," she said, before blushing and quickly chewing the bite she was working on.  
  
The Grandmaster ate quietly from them on, breaking the silence once to mention that the asparagus was perfectly cooked, but might have benefited from some garlic butter, before he finally set his silverware down to signal to us that he was finished.  
  
"I'd love to eat more, but I'm afraid I'd have no room left for dessert. And I think I'll leave the rest for Ukyo and you to eat... I saw the way you were staring at it when you set it down."  
  
"Ahh.. thanks," I said, blushing slightly myself.  
  
As I proceeded to wash the dishes, Ukyo took the cake out, and I wondered whether or not the Grandmaster would enjoy it as much as he had the main course. After finishing up the few dishes we'd dirtied preparing the meal, I washed my hands and stepped outside, just in time to watch the old man finish off the cake.  
  
"A splendid meal. The only thing not excellent was the soup, and even that was better than anything I could buy at a shop."  
  
"So.. does that mean Ukyo passed?" I asked. Ukyo elbowed me, but it wasn't hard, and she leaned forward slightly as he closed his eyes to consider it.  
  
Finally, "Honestly, I doubt there are many people on earth capable of creating such a splendid meal in under a day like you two have. Ukyo Kuonji, you are free to start your own branch of our school, and to expand upon it's principles as you see fit."  
  
"Congrats!" I said, patting her on the back.  
  
"Kyle Boitet," Fuyutsuki said, snapping the smile from my face. The look in his eye, however, put most of my fears to rest, and as he continued, my smile returned, "You are apparently skilled in multiple forms of the Art, and your experience with this school is not quite as lengthy as it would first appear. Despite this.. and your obvious lack of protocol," he said, glancing at Ukyo for a moment, "your skill and determination are apparent enough to me that I'm willing to grant you mastership and release you from the school to assist Ukyo as you so obviously intended to do."  
  
".. It's just legal, now," I said, grinning. The Grandmaster rolled his eyes, but grinned as he did.  
  
"Yes, it's legal now." Turning to look at the clock on the wall, he sighed, "And now, my friends, I must depart. And you two, as well, I believe. The last train to Tokyo leaves in fifteen minutes."  
  
"Ack!" I stated ever-so eloquently as I realized he was right. Ukyo, likewise, appeared shocked, though whether it was our imminent departure time, or her promotion, I couldn't quite tell. Quickly gathering our things, we thanked the Grandmaster of the School of Okonomiyaki Martial Arts and made our way back to the train station.  
  
"Well.. that..." I said, as the train pulled away from the station. We'd barely made it in time, and only then because we'd found tickets home in our coat pockets, allowing us to skip the lengthy line at the ticket booth to get home.  
  
"I forgot how friendly he was," Ukyo said, looking almost surprised.  
  
"Yeah, he was pretty friendly.. I wasn't expecting someone so..." I trailed off.  
  
"So..?" Ukyo asked, when I failed to continue.  
  
"I don't know. I just assumed he'd be all traditional and stuff."  
  
"Well, his wife was an American, I think."  
  
"Oh?" I asked, leaning forward.  
  
"I think so... My dad told me the last time we came by here. He wasn't supposed to be the Grandmaster because of it, but when she died, the previous grandmaster granted him the title. Then he died, and Grandmaster Fuyutsuki decided that bloodlines weren't as important as spirit, and began training anyone willing to learn."  
  
"... Your dad told you all this when you were a kid, and you remember it now?" I asked, incredulously.  
  
"No, dummy, my dad told me this on the phone the other day, when I asked if your presence would be a problem."  
  
"Oh. Well, he's an okay guy in my book," I said, honestly.  
  
"Yeah. We'll have to keep in touch. I feel kind of bad that I never stopped by when I was in the area." Ukyo said, staring out the window at the reddened sky. The sun had just set, and the atmosphere was that bright red it assumed as the day slowly faded into the night.  
  
"Well, Congratulations, Ukyo," I said, softly, after a couple minutes of silence.  
  
"Thank you... I couldn't have done it without you, though. And Congratulations to you, too, Master Kyle."  
  
Now you're just being kinky," I said, smirking. Ukyo punched my arm softly, then looked at the empty seat beside me, then out the window.  
  
"Mind if I sit over there?" she asked finally.  
  
"Not really, The view is better," I said, staring out the window as well. The Train had turned, and now the purple sunset was behind the train, at an angle Ukyo, who was facing forward, would have had trouble seeing.  
  
"Thanks," she said as I moved over and gave her the seat next to the window. "You're right," she said a moment later, looking at the final traces of light disappear from the evening sky.  
  
A moment later, she fell asleep on my arm.  
  
--===--  
  
The phone was ringing. Glancing at my clock, I blinked when I realized just how late it was, then sat up, wondering why I wasn't already awake and running the store below.  
  
Dashing downstairs and snatching the phone, I wondered if Ukyo had gone to school or not.  
  
"Ucchan's Okonomiyaki."  
  
"Kyle! Long time no speak!" the voice on the other end exclaimed. It took me a minute to place it, but suddenly it dawned on me.  
  
"Herb?"  
  
"Indeed. I was calling to find out how Ukyo's test went. Your letter suggested you'd be back today or tomorrow, and I thought I'd call and ask."  
  
"Oh.. well, that was nice of you. We passed the test and are free to proceed as planned... how goes the studying?"  
  
"A good question. Have you been able to manifest a battle aura yet?"  
  
"We have, though it takes a while..." I said, slowly.  
  
"That's good, Give it time, and you'll be able to do it in moments."  
  
"I hope so.. I managed to blow myself up with a Shi Shi Hokodan, but the Aura is.. was emotionless. Ukyo's too."  
  
"Oh.. that far?" He said, sounding surprised, "Well, I've gone over everything you told me, and my trainers and I are just completing training for a couple of the techniques. Once you two are able to manifest your battle aura's quickly, start on the soul of ice technique, and the emotionless Ki blasts. From there, you'll be able to build up to almost anything we talked about."  
  
"What about hot Ki?" I asked.  
  
"If you have to, you can work on it, though It's naturally heated... Or do you mean, like, extremely heated Ki?"  
  
"Umm... that one, I suppose," I replied, not having really thought about it.  
  
"If you'd like. It might help if I can find a way to use it. I'll see what I can come up with. Is Ukyo there?"  
  
"No, she's in school... want me to have her call.. wait, when'd you get a phone?"  
  
"Ahh.. We never had a need for one in the past, but now.. well.. it's nice not having to sent out messages via pigeon."  
  
"Technology has it's uses," I replied, smirking to myself.  
  
"So it would seem. Now if only those damned Amazons would stop digging out and cutting the cables up for rope. This is the first decent call I've made yet."  
  
"Hmm... Ranma arrived," I muttered, quietly.  
  
"Oh? You'll have to keep me updated on that," he replied. Then, "Oh! Have you figured out a name for the school, yet?"  
  
"No, we just received permission to start it. Why?"  
  
"I've a suggestion, then?"  
  
"Go for it."  
  
" Gekirin Tatsu-ryuu."  
  
"Hmm.. 'Imperial Wrath Dragon School?'" I muttered, "I like the sound of it. Vaguely sinister, powerful sounding, and not quite indicative of the powers wielded by users."  
  
"... well, actually, I was thinking more about the Dragon's blood flowing through my veins, and the Imperial upbringing I've had... but if you want to look at it that way..."  
  
"Herb.. your honesty can be frightening sometimes," I told the prince.  
  
"Touché. I'll leave you and Ukyo to your training, while I see what else I can get out of what you described."  
  
"Alright. Take care, your highness," I said, unsure exactly how one ends a phone call with royalty.  
  
"Kyle, feel free to refer to me as Herb.. at least, in private. It's what friends do, is it not?"  
  
"Sure thing, Herb," I drawled in accented English.  
  
The prince sighed, then spoke, though I could tell he was smiling, "Goodbye, Kyle."  
  
I hung up the phone, and turned to look at the empty restaurant, then at the street visible through the window. Then I turned and started opening up.  
  
--===--  
  
"I'm back!" Ukyo announced as she stepped inside.  
  
"John Connor's not here," I replied, as I flipped an Okonomiyaki. Ukyo stared at me for a moment, then shrugged and made her way upstairs, returning a couple minutes later ready to take over the grill.  
  
"So, Ranma finally realized who I was today," She said as I handed her the most recent order.  
  
"Ahh... just as dense as I remember, apparently," I said, grabbing the drink order.  
  
"He and Nabiki are apparently affianced, like she told you. The two of them have stepped up their extortion and blackmailing from what people are saying."  
  
"Oh? Akane and Ranma enforcing Nabiki's Law?" I asked, a moment later, when I had a minute.  
  
"They tolerate each other, but it's apparent that Ranma took Akane's spot by the way he follows Nabiki around. That, and the slight limp she was walking with."  
  
I stared at her, "you mean Ranma actually hit Akane?" I asked, still surprised, despite all the other indicators that this wasn't canon Ranma.  
  
"Well, someone did," Ukyo said, wiping the grill clean for the next order.  
  
"Have they come after you yet?" I asked, glancing around and wondering how busy we'd get for dinner.  
  
"Not yet... I think they enjoy the morning fights too much to risk loosing such a great source of income."  
  
I sat down across from her at the bar and frowned, "so people bet against you, then," I said, more a comment than a question.  
  
"Well, Akane keeps telling everyone that she's better at Martial Arts than I am, and she doesn't think she could handle so big a crowd, and since everyone loves her..."  
  
"They love the strong arm of their extortioner?"  
  
"... is that a word, Kyle?" Ukyo asked, quirking a brow in my direction.  
  
"I dunno. Sounds like one," I replied, sheepishly.  
  
Ukyo shook her head, dismissing it, "whatever. Point is, I'm making them money, and that makes Nabiki happy. And if Nabiki's happy, Ranma and Akane are happy."  
  
"Hmm.. I wonder how messed up Kasumi is?" I mused.  
  
"Kasumi... Kasumi... the third sister?" Ukyo asked, frowning.  
  
I nodded, "yeah. Of course, considering how off everyone here seems to be, I'd not be surprised if she's just as amoral and evil as can be."  
  
Ukyo shrugged, not commenting. I was about to continue our musings when I spotted a bandanna through the window that was dreadfully familiar.  
  
"Be right back," I said, darting out the door.  
  
Walking down the street, attired exactly as I would have expected, strode Ryouga Hibiki, backpack and all.  
  
"Ryouga!" I called out, running towards him.  
  
The figure stopped then turned, looking at me curiously.  
  
"Ryouga Hibiki?" I asked, suddenly wondering if I should have approached him. Considering the rest of the Ranma cast, This Ryouga might be a homicidal maniac.  
  
"Do I know you?" He asked. Seemed sane enough.  
  
"Not that I know of," I said, hesitantly, "I know of you, though. Or, really, of your relation to Ranma Saoto-"  
  
"He's no relative of mine!"  
  
"I meant more like your quest for vengeance," I corrected, somewhat glad that he was at least somewhat normal.  
  
"Are you... you're not his friend, are you? Ryouga asked, scowling.  
  
I frowned, "That, Ryouga, was as close to an insult as I care to let accusations go."  
  
"That.. wha?" he asked, visibly stumped.  
  
I sighed in exasperation, then waved him over, "Come inside, have an Okonomiyaki, and I'll tell you my problem with Saotome, then you can tell me yours."  
  
Back inside, Ukyo gave Ryouga a questioning look, and I smirked at her before sitting across from Ryouga in a corner booth.  
  
"So, you're looking for Ranma," I said, to which Ryouga merely nodded.  
  
"Well, my beef with him is.. err... " Actually, what was my beef with him? Glancing at Ukyo, who wasn't too busy, I called out, "Ukyo? What's my problem with Ranma again?"  
  
"His existence in general? The fact that he continues to walk around unpunished? Hell, My problems are your problems, and he's my problem, so there you go. Anymore stupid questions?" she called back, not once looking up from the grill.  
  
Turning back to look at Ryouga, who appeared to be on the verge of smiling, I waved my hand in the Chef's direction, and shrugged, "Apparent, I suppose."  
  
"So you both dislike the thief as well," he said, visibly relaxing a little more.  
  
I nodded, then frowned, "and your reason for vengeance-seeking?"  
  
"The thief stole my meals!"  
  
"You mean the bread?" I asked, frowning. This story was... pathetic.  
  
"And the meat, and the drink. Every day my mom made me a meal, and every day Saotome would snatch it and eat it before I could stop him!" Ryouga Slammed his fist on the table and stood up, shaping said fist at the ceiling, "For the insult of the meal, Ranma Saotome, you will pay!"  
  
A moment later a small dull spatula bounced off Ryouga's head, courtesy of an irked Ukyo.  
  
"Keep it down, Jackass."  
  
Ryouga, blushing, sat back down, then looked down at his clenched fists at the table. I was a little surprised at the outright thievery in Ryouga's story, but once again, the variations of things were becoming less surprising the more I heard about them.  
  
"So, he stole your meals... didn't you try fighting back?" I asked, when he'd visibly calmed down somewhat.  
  
"I couldn't! I didn't know how to fight, then, and my mother didn't exactly condone it," He said, scowling.  
  
"So.. you can't fight now?" I asked, wondering if the nearby backpack was as heavy as the cannon one.  
  
"of course I can, now! How else am I supposed to get revenge? On him and his lousy father."  
  
"Genma?" I asked, wondering what he'd done to earn Ryouga's anger.  
  
"Both of them deserve to die for what they did," the fanged boy across from me growled, his fists clenching once again.  
  
"What'd they do?" Ukyo asked, sliding into the seat beside me. I jumped slightly at her sudden appearance, but made room for her, feeling somewhat foolish for letting her surprise me so much in our restaurant.  
  
"My mother came to school when I told her that Ranma was stealing my lunches, and she tried to confront him. He ran and she chased after him, only he managed to lead her into a hallway the janitor had just finished mopping..."  
  
I winced, wondering how much worse this could get.  
  
"-Mom broke an arm and her leg, and Ranma snuck away before he could take the blame. Then, after mother had been treated at the hospital, I was headed to the Doctor's office to pay for the treatment, and Genma appeared. He said he was dreadfully sorry about the 'accident,' then offered to take the money to the doctor, and said he would also talk to the staff and make sure mother was treated well."  
  
"He didn't," Ukyo said, while I felt whatever hope I had for Ranma sinking into a bottomless abyss.  
  
Ryouga nodded, staring out the window for a minute before he continued, "the Doctor was a family friend, so he didn't kick us out, but the work I had to do to make up for the stolen payments was harsh, and in the end, Mother didn't receive as good a treatment as she deserved."  
  
"Is she alright?" I asked, frowning.  
  
Ryouga glanced at me, then nodded, "She's healed, but the doctors sent her home before they really needed to, and she spend a few months in a cast, trying to get things done around the house. I tried to help, but still! Those casts weren't the more expensive kinds you can work in. Ever since then, mother's stride hasn't been the same, and she has something else, now... Carp-something."  
  
"Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?" I asked, frowning. Ryouga nodded his head once to that, then went back to staring out the window.  
  
"That's... that's awful!" Ukyo said, matching what I was thinking.  
  
"Hmm.." Ryouga murmured, before speaking again, "Since then I've been practicing Martial Arts, just waiting for the day I'd catch up to Saotome and Get revenge for everything he's put me and my family through."  
  
"I don't blame you," Ukyo said, glancing at the guest who'd just walked into the door.  
  
"I've got it," I said, slipping past her and starting on the ladies order.  
  
While it was cooking, I contemplated Ryouga's story, and decided that this was definitely not the Ranma I had read about so often in the past. Glancing up at the clock, I wondered how long a trip to the Dojo would take, including the posturing, fighting, and follow-up bragging. It wasn't like me to start a fight for no reason, I preferred reacting to acting, but this... If Ryouga's story was legit, and I had little reason not to believe it with Ukyo's testimonies against the pigtailed youth, then Ranma was in need of a good ass kicking.  
  
When the food was on the table, I made my way back over to Ryouga and Ukyo, who were apparently talking about joining forces.  
  
"So this school of ours is hopefully going to be powerful enough to take out Ranma's own highly-adaptive school itself."  
  
"And you want me to join?" Ryouga asked, sounding surprised. I smirked and sat back down beside Ukyo.  
  
"Believe it or not, this school is suited for you... did Ukyo ask how far along you were in your training?"  
  
"Yeah, right before she offered.." Ryouga glanced at Ukyo, then me, then quirked a brow, "are you two married?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Maybe he's not the right kind of person for our school," Ukyo mumbled.  
  
"No, Ryouga, we're friends." I said, when I finally got my mind back on track.  
  
"Oh. Okay. So what do I have to do to join your school?" he asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Umm..." I said, while Ukyo frowned in thought. We hadn't really figured out qualifications for joining, yet. And without Herb to assist in deciding, it wasn't truly fair to induct Ryouga without consent of the three founders of the Gekirin Tatsu-ryuu. Which reminded me.  
  
"Herb called," I said, turning to look at Ukyo.  
  
"Oh? How is he... umm.. his royal highness?" she asked, stumbling over what to call him.  
  
"He's fine. Said call him 'Herb' when alone, congrats to our success yesterday, and that we should work on cold Ki when we get Ki blasts and Aura's up to an acceptable level... and Hot Ki, too, if we care to."  
  
Ryouga stared at us with surprise for a moment, then spoke, "you two can do Ki attacks?"  
  
Ukyo shrugged, "Not too well, yet. We're still learning. But we've got an expert helping us design the training for the school."  
  
"A Ki expert?" Ryouga asked, apparently awed by this. Of course, even here in the Ranma Universe, using Ki was rare. So his surprise and awe was somewhat justifiable.  
  
"Prince Herb of the Musk is, well," I paused, wondering how to put it, before shrugging, and telling him the unadulterated truth, "he's part dragon. Using Ki just comes naturally to him."  
  
Ryouga frowned, "I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not stupid. Dragon prince?"  
  
I shrugged, "Hard to believe, but true. You'll see, next time he comes this way."  
  
Ukyo turned to look at me, "he's coming back this way?"  
  
I shook my head, "not that I know of. I just meant that, you know, whenever he does."  
  
Ukyo 'oh'-ed, and I turned back to Ryouga.  
  
"Well, look, your story has lit a vindictive vigilante fire under me that you and Ukyo here have probably been feeling for years. Why don't we all three give the Tendo's a visit.  
  
Ukyo turned to look at me fast enough to slap me with her ponytail. "Sorry.. do you really mean that, though?" She asked, sounding surprised and excited.  
  
"Yeah... With what Ryouga's said here, and everything you've gone through, It's not like we really need much more reason to kick some ass. Besides, it'll be a good way for us to judge Ryouga's skill in the art, right?"  
  
"True," Ukyo said, glancing over at the battle spatula hanging behind the grill, ready for use at a moment's notice.  
  
"So where's the Dojo?" Ryouga asked, looking out the window.  
  
I frowned, "It'd be better to stick with us, Ryouga. No sense loosing you along the way."  
  
Ryouga glared at me, "and what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
I blinked, "Err.. I just... I heard you had a bad sense of direction," I said hesitantly.  
  
Ryouga frowned, "who told you that?"  
  
"Someone who probably didn't know what they were talking about.. you don't have a bad sense of direction?"  
  
"No worse than anyone else's," he replied, still frowning. Writing it off as another inconsistency, but remembering to keep an eye on him just in case, I slid out of the booth, Ukyo doing the same, and making her way over to the spatula on the wall, which she removed and slung in one fluid motion.  
  
I still had my mini-spatulas tucked into my belt, and after a moments hesitation, I disappeared upstairs, returning a moment later with my shoulder holster on. If Ranma and Genma were as dishonorable as they were purported to be, a little underhanded weaponry might come in handy. If Ukyo understood what I'd grabbed, she didn't say anything, merely nodding to me as Ryouga stood by with his umbrella.  
  
"An umbrella?" I asked, suddenly realizing just what it might mean.  
  
"My mother said it was my father's weapon of choice... why?" he responded.  
  
"Just.. curious. Ever heard of a place called Jusenkyo?" I asked, nonchalantly.  
  
"No.. is that Chinese?"  
  
".... Never mind, then."  
  
The three of us stepped outside, licking the door behind us, and turned south, where Ukyo said the Dojo was located.  
  
"You know where it is?" I asked her quietly. Ryouga was a few meters behind us, so I decided to take care of the final problem with our days plan.  
  
"Sort of. Once we're in the area, we can ask," she replied confidently. Shrugging, I let her lead, falling back to walk beside Ryouga, who was having no trouble whatsoever following us.  
  
"So, Hibiki, you haven't been chasing after Ranma for all these years in search of revenge?"  
  
"Why would I do something like that? I can't get revenge until I know I can beat him."  
  
"True... So you're sure you can beat him now?" I asked, glancing at an elderly woman sweeping the porch in front of a large house.  
  
"Do you always ask these kinds of questions on the way to a fight?" Ryouga asked, glancing at me.  
  
"No, I was just curious, kind of. Why?"  
  
"Well," he said, taking a corner Ukyo'd disappeared through a moment earlier, "They're not exactly..."  
  
"Confidence instilling?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sorry. You should do fine. Ukyo's a good judge of character. If she hasn't opposed your presence, chances are, she feels you'll work out well watching her back."  
  
"And your opinion?" Ryouga asked, frowning at me.  
  
"I'll hold off on forming one until the shit hits the fan," I said in English.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said I'd wait until after the fight to form an opinion. I think you'll work out just fine, though."  
  
"Oh.. thanks," Ryouga said. I nodded, then made my way up to Ukyo, who was talking to a kid who seemed hesitant to talk to her. By the time I reached her, the kid had run off, and Ukyo was frowning.  
  
"What's up?" I asked, glancing at the door the kid had disappeared through.  
  
"Well, the Dojo's just up ahead.. but I get the distinct impression it's not the most loved addition to the neighborhood."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah. That kid seemed scared of me when I told him that's where I was going. What do you think is going on there?"  
  
"In this Universe?" I asked rhetorically. Ukyo just rolled her eyes and started walking.  
  
"Umm..." Ryouga said, following along. When he didn't continue, I smirked to myself, glad to have avoided that conversation for a little while longer.  
  
Ukyo finally stopped before a large wooden doorway, beside which a sign sat.  
  
"Tendo Dojo. Please use side entrance to challenge dojo," Ryouga read.  
  
"Well, here we are," I said, reaching up to push the door open.  
  
"What are you doing?" Ukyo asked, making me pause.  
  
"I'm... opening the door?" I said, unsure why she'd ask that.  
  
"It says use the side entrance. We are here to challenge the dojo, aren't we?"  
  
I blinked, "But... I..."  
  
"Don't tell me 'everyone else does,' Kyle, or I'll smack you upside the head for confusing me with her again."  
  
"Err, I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that we were here for Ranma, not the Dojo... aren't we?"  
  
"If Ranma's the best fighter here, then we'll get to fight him anyway. And This won't give Nabiki any reason to bill us."  
  
"Am I missing something?" Ryouga asked, staring at the two of us like we'd just grown second heads.  
  
"Nah, just a slight bit of-," I paused, wondering what to write it off as. Finally, "-confusion. Lets go to the side entrance, shall we?"  
  
The three of us made our way to the smaller side entrance and stepped through, a well-placed bell signaling our arrival.  
  
"Who the hell?" I heard someone say from an upstairs window.  
  
"I'll take care of 'em," someone else yelled from inside. A moment later Ranma Saotome stepped outside, glancing at us for a moment before smirking.  
  
"The moneymaker... and friends." He said, glancing at Ukyo, before turning to Ryouga and I.  
  
"Actually," he said, frowning at me for a moment, "your that gaijin who sent my old man and I into that hellspawn infested war zone, aren't you?" Turning to Ryouga before I could respond, he continues, "And you... I don't remember your name, but I know we've met somewhere."  
  
"You should remember my name, you honorless bastard! You crippled my mother after stealing my lunches for months!" Ryouga shouted, brandishing his umbrella.  
  
"What the hell is all this nois-" Akane froze when she spotted us, then grinned. "Back for more, eh?" she asked, cracking her knuckles.  
  
"Umm, we've never been here before," Ukyo pointed out, causing Akane's grin to dissolve into a scowl.  
  
"Shut your hole! It's time for us to pick up where we left off."  
  
From the doorway, a new figure appeared, and it took me a moment to recognize her as Kasumi Tendo, the eldest of the three daughters. Unlike Akane or Nabiki, Kasumi looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, her hair was a mess, and instead of the nice-ish dresses I was used to her wearing, she wore a rather dirty thing that wasn't so much a dress as a collection of rags that were dress-shaped. Before I could say anything to her, however, there was a shout from inside.  
  
"KASUMI! Get out of the damn doorway, and finish cooking our dinner!"  
  
The figure jumped and disappeared inside, and I glared at Akane, "that was your sister?"  
  
"Pathetic, isn't she? I don't know how it happened, but she turned out to be a complete loser," Akane said, crossing her arms and closing her eyes as she spoke.  
  
"Stupid girl can't even fight," Ranma added, sneering as he glanced over his shoulder at the house.  
  
Ukyo's hand on my shoulder stopped me as I was reaching into my shirt, and the look in her eye let me know that they'd get what was coming to them soon enough. Ryouga however...  
  
"You heartless bastard!" the boy shouted, lunging. Ukyo and I caught him just before he got out of range, and drug him towards the dojo, Akane and Ranma staring at us for a moment before following.  
  
"So who's going to be our victim today?" Ranma asked, cracking his own knuckles.  
  
"All three of us," I said, pulling two spatulas and holding them much like I had when fighting Grandmaster Fuyutsuki.  
  
"Oh?" A new voice asked from the doorway. I turned and felt my frown deepen when I saw Nabiki leaning against the doorway. "Not exactly fair odds, is it?"  
  
"You didn't seem to care last time we got together for a tête-à-tête," Ukyo growled, her Battle spatula held out before her, ready for action.  
  
"That was business. This is personal," she said, stepping aside to let Genma Saotome through the door.  
  
"What seems to be the problem here?" he asked, before frowning in my direction. "aren't you-"  
  
"The problem," I said loudly, cutting him off, " is that you're up and walking, and so is Ranma. So we've come to solve that."  
  
"Kyle?" Ukyo said, glancing at me.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You get Akane. I think Ryouga is going after Mr. Saotome. And Ranma's mine."  
  
"This ought to be fun," Akane said, taking a menacing step towards me.  
  
"Any last terms before we start?" Nabiki asked from the doorway?  
  
"As if you'd adhere to them?" Ukyo snarled.  
  
Nabiki shrugged, then grinned, holding her hand up. "Very well then. Anything goes."  
  
Then her hand fell, "BEGIN!"  
  
-------------------------  
  
AN: Good place for a cliffhanger-ish ending, eh? I thought so, too... aaand ff net gobbled up my italicized text. Niiiice.... ¬¬  
  
Thanks to Nate for pre-reading, thoughts, and contributions.. most notably the name of the school, and to all my other pre-readers who helped me remember that endless dialogue gets confusing after a while.  
  
Most of this chapter was done in a few days... however, that most part was done two days ago and today, and that was the second and third.. err.. thirds. So I haven't been sitting on a complete chapter, so much as sitting on the beginning of a chapter that I couldn't figure out how to go to the next part with.  
  
It's hopefully apparent to those of you who know Evangelion that I've taken Sub Commander Fuyutsuki and made him Grandmaster of Ukyo's School. Then I turned around and crapped all over tradition with my own special ideas of pomp and circumstance... as I so bluntly made obvious in that section of the chapter. I know that in real life, something like this would NEVER happen, but hey, this is in a world where a good section of a city is infested by creatures from hell that occasionally escape and terrorize law- abiding citizens.  
  
The Tendos and Saotomes have received heavy revamping, and in case your wondering, Yes, this Ranma is an ass. Feel free to hate him. I'm doing my best to make him hate-able. Here's to hoping I succeed... so the only one left is Kasumi, really.  
  
Originally, she was going to be utterly reprehensible, much like her sisters. But then I remembered how I killed her in MPA, and, well.. It just didn't work. I couldn't write it. So I redid the character again, and came out with this one. Whee!  
  
... Finally, I've a quick question. Once upon a time I pre-read a story similar in nature to Ranma ½, only it was original, and the main character died, and found himself in his female cousin's body, and became the heir to a school of.. Akido? Something.. It's been almost a year since I last read it, and try as I might, I've yet to find the fic again. I know it was hosted on Fictionpress at one point, but aside from that, I've utterly lost contact with the author... any help with this would be greatly appreciated. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Prepare to die!" Ryouga shouted, lunging.

"It's over for you!" Ukyo growled, leaping.

"You know, you'd look a lot prettier with a bag over your head," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Ryouga and Ukyo both hit the floor staring, while Ranma and Genma slowly edged away from a rather irate Akane.

"What did you say?" Akane asked, her face growing redder by the second.

"Well, what I said then doesn't work now anymore. Maybe you'd be better suited in a hooded robe. That way you can hide your face and your abnormally large thighs," I corrected, polishing my nails on my shirt and not bothering to look directly at the steamed martial artist.

"You. Will. Die."

I sighed, "don't we all? But, it's a part of life, so there's no use worrying about it. Though with looks like yours, I suppose counting the days 'till your misery ends is something to help keep you going."

Akane lunged then, apparently unable to hold back any longer, and I stepped aside, spinning to watch her dart past me.

"You're quick, though," I muttered, before dodging the next lunge. Apparently this Akane still tended to lose all skill when utterly enraged. The next time she stormed past me in a blind charge I gave her a hard kick in the ass to help her on her way.

Stumbling, Akane straightened up after having run into one of the dojo's support beams. Where she'd hit her head, a slight cut was tricking blood down her face, and, combined with the bloodshot look in her eye, gave her a rather scary look.

"Ahh..." I said, realizing I might have gone a little far. Distantly in the background, I heard Ryouga and Ukyo fighting Genma and Ranma, though I quickly tuned it out as Akane took a couple stuttering gasps, before coming at me with a little more precision.

"Decided to fight right?" I asked, dodging or blocking everything I could. Unfortunately, with only so much maneuvering room, what with two other fights going on around us, she eventually caught me off guard, and buried her fist in my stomach with enough force to momentarily lift me off the ground.

Before I could so much as gasp, a powerful kick caught me in the side, and sent me flying into the wall, which was a lot sturdier than it looked.

"What happened? Did I break you?" Akane asked, slowly advancing on me. Wincing at the pain in my side, and doing my best to ignore my temporary shortness of breath, I dug the two mini-spatulas out of my pockets and held them parallel to my arm, as I had when fighting the old man a few days ago.

"Cute toys," Akane said, before she launched her foot at me. When she pulled it back with a shout, a short cut slowly oozing blood now visible, she frowned at the spatulas, but didn't say more.

When she got back into a fighting stance, I stepped forward and started a rather speedy combination of kicks and punches that forced her on the defensive. When I had enough room to maneuver, I stopped and spun hard, letting loose a kick with as much power as I could physically put into it. Akane blocked, but with the momentum and weight behind it, she still went flying, managing to land on Ranma, who was in the process of being swatted by Ukyo.

"Damn it, you stupid moron, get off me!" Ranma cried, pushing Akane off of him. Akane, meanwhile, was cradling her arm, which didn't look broken, but was almost certainly hurt, if not fractured. I felt a twinge of regret for that, but pushed it down where it wouldn't interfere.

Then something odd happened. Akane held her good hand over the wounded area, and after a moment, there was a flash of light, before she stretched her arm out as if it were healed. Looking at it, I couldn't see the redness that should have existed, and realized she actually had healed herself.

"How does a heartless little girl like you get healing powers?" I asked, the other two fights pausing momentarily.

"The same way your pretty-boy friend can throw explosives," Akane responded, smirking.

"You mean, you can use your Ki to heal?" Ukyo asked, incredulously.

"And your friend can use it to hurt. Something we're still working on," Ranma said, taking the time to heal one of his own wounds. Akane was currently working on the cut on her head.

Ryouga, Ukyo and I withdrew to a corner, Ranma, Akane and Genma doing the same, and I frowned, this new information rather annoying.

"This is what your school is up against?" Ryouga asked, glancing over his shoulder to glare at the other party.

"Well, pretty much. Still, this is... unexpected," I said, to which Ukyo nodded. Frowning for a moment, she turned to look at the others for a minute as well, then back at Ryouga.

"How well did you do against Genma?" she asked him.

"Not as well as I liked, but I got a few good hits in," he said, before wincing, "of course, so did he..."

Ukyo nodded, then glanced over her shoulder again, before turning to me, "We need to take these guys out, and I hate to say it, but we're all pretty evenly matched with our opponents."

I nodded, tenderly rubbing the sore spot under my arm where Akane had kicked me, then smirked, "I think I might have an idea."

When the six of us met back up, nothing more was said for a moment, before we all jumped back at each other once more at it.

After a moment of dodging, however, I turned, got my bearings, and caught Akane's next sloppy punch and threw her at Ranma. As before, the two collided, both yelling at the other to stay out of their way.

Meanwhile, Ukyo and I stood side by side for a moment, facing them, then turned back to back and let loose the Amiguriken. While we were both right handed, I was using my left hand, since I was still a little more accurate than she was. Not that it mattered too much, Ranma and Akane visibly wilting under the assault, both trying to block, and only succeeding in leaving new openings for Ukyo and I to hammer.

There was a shout from the other side of the room, and a moment later, Ryouga leapt over us, landing behind the stunned and battered duo, and swiftly smacking them upside the head with his umbrella. Ranma and Akane, unable to contend with all the attacks at once, failed to block the rather obvious attack, and crumpled, out cold.

Ukyo and I stopped as the two fell, stepping apart and turning to look at Genma, who was staring at us with unrestrained hatred.

"Well, fat boy, looks like it's our turn," I said, pulling out my two spatulas.

"Maybe, gaijin, but know this: Akane and Ranma only know basic healing techniques. I do have an attack."

I felt Ukyo and Ryouga pause, and I did the same, wondering if he'd have something new, or we'd be facing the perfectly dangerous vacuum blades canon Genma had created.

When he snapped his arm at Ukyo a second later, I dove, taking Ukyo by surprise, a moment before the floor behind her shattered.

Ryouga leapt at Genma, who had paused to see what his attack had done, and after climbing to my feet and absently helping Ukyo to hers, we joined the fanged boy in attacking the elder Saotome. We started off hesitant, doing our best to keep an eye out for the arm-snap that meant another vacuum blade, but after a minute or so, we realized we weren't giving him enough time to execute it, and began fighting more so.

Unfortunately, Ryouga's strength, my height advantage, and Ukyo's speed weren't entirely successful at overcoming Genma Saotome's repertoire of sneaky moves, underhanded tricks, and random bouts of stupidity. Fortunately, none of us fell for the "Look! A ten–yen piece!"

Finally, Ukyo and I were back to back again, and both of us were sneering down at the pudgy elder.

"Genma Saotome-" I started.

"-Has had enough. Step back, if you don't mind."

I turned around and stared. There in the doorway, pointing a pistol at Ukyo, was Soun Tendo, his brown gi replaced with a rather expensive-looking business suit.

"You know, gun control laws just don't seem to apply around here," I said, stepping back from Genma.

"So you're the two that have been giving my men and my family so much trouble," Soun said, ignoring my comment.

Nabiki slipped in beside Soun and made her way over to the unconscious Ranma and Akane, before waking them with smelling salts.

I crossed my arms, "I thought the Tendo and Saotome schools were supposed to be honorable," I said, shifting just enough to draw Soun's attention.

"Honorable isn't productive, and non-productivity is rarely profitable," he responded, sneering.

"Well," I said, slipping my hand from within my shirt and pointing my own pistol at Akane and Nabiki, "at least your business-minded enough to hopefully understand negotiations."

"Kyle!" Ryouga said, shocked.

"I'm always willing to negotiate," Soun said, his weapon still pointed at Ukyo. Glancing at Nabiki who was frozen leaning over Akane, both of whom were staring down the barrel of my pistol, I wondered what else to expect in the coming days.

"Before that, however, NABIKI!" Soun said, suddenly.

"Yes, daddy?" Nabiki said, her smug and lofty voice subdued and weak-sounding.

"Why does this.. this foreign child have one of MY weapons?"

"I... I don't know, Daddy. Honestly!"

"Umm.." Ukyo said, earning glances from all parties present. "Kyle took that from a thug after we arrived in town, in the hotel. It was before we all had met."

Soun glanced at Nabiki, still frowning, "Hotels are your responsibility, Nabiki... what do you have to say for your incompetence!"

"I'm sorry daddy! It won't happen again." Nabiki said, suddenly ignoring my weapon entirely.

"See that it doesn't. As for punishment..." Soun trailed off thoughtfully for a minute, then sighed, "It is rather obvious, isn't it?" he asked her.

"Umm..." I asked, a moment before Soun turned and shot Nabiki.

"Fuck!" I shouted, before turning and shooting Soun, who was turning his weapon back towards Ukyo, Ryouga and I. Soun dropped, and Ranma, utterly forgotten, jumped at me and kicked the automatic from my hand, before Ryouga tackled him from behind. Ukyo dove after my sliding weapon, while Akane lunged at Soun, and the weapon in his hand, while Genma crawled towards the door.

I leapt at Soun, hoping I'd get there before Akane could get the pistol around, and wondered briefly how Ryouga would hold up against Ranma.

Normally I wasn't one for cheap shots, but at the moment, it was either be cheap or be dead, so I landed on Akane, driving my knee into her kidney, before grabbing her arms from behind and bodily hauling her away from Soun's body and weapon. After my painful landing, Akane didn't put up much of a fight as I booted her towards Nabiki and shouted "Put pressure on it!" before leaning over to scoop up Soun's weapon.

A moment later, I was struck by a flying body, and when I managed to figure out who it was, I blinked, "Ukyo?" I asked, gently pushing her off of me. She scowled at me for a moment, then, recognizing me, turned to glare over her shoulder, just in time for me to see Genma in the doorway, holding my weapon.

"You didn't really think I was leaving, did you?" he asked, while everyone froze. Ukyo looked down at me, the weapon currently hidden between us, and then over at Ranma and Ryouga, who were both watching Genma. Ryouga, however, didn't look nearly as pleased as Ranma.

"You pathetic show of emotion leads me to wonder just how you've been such a challenge to my friends and family."

"Pathet- He just shot his own daughter!" I shouted, pushing Ukyo off of me and remembering to apologize later. Unfortunately, her surprised groping snatched my gun arm, spoiling my aim, and by the time she realized she needed to let go, the weapon was pointed at the roof. Genma glanced at it, then smirked, his aim shifting to center on my chest.

"He didn't shoot to kill, he hit her arm. If you were paying more attention, you would have seen that." Genma glanced down at Soun for a minute, then sighed, "you're just lucky Soun wears body armor. Your aim is dangerous."

"Lucky? If I'd known that, I would have aimed for his head," I spat, standing.

"Bastard," Akane hissed, while doing her best to tie something over Nabiki's wound.

"Well.. now what?" I muttered, earning a grin from Genma.

"You can start by dropping your weapon," he said, an order with which I compiled, albeit very unhappily.

Ryouga straightened up and pulled a bandana from his head, "is it hot in here?" he asked, spinning it around as if to cool himself down.. The way he glared at Genma's weapon for a moment, however, led me to believe he was all but fanning himself off.

"Akane, get your sister inside. Have the girl work on that arm. Ranma, get that gun," Genma said. Akane drug her sister out the door with only a hate-filled glare directed at me before she disappeared, and Ranma slowly made his way over towards the gun on the floor.

Ryouga pulled another bandanna from his forehead and spun it in the other hand, "It's really hot in here, isn't it?" he asked, glancing at Ukyo and I, before turning to glare at Genma and Ranma.

"How many of those have you got, boy?" Genma asked, frowning.

"Enough... Want one?" Ryouga suddenly said, throwing the spinning bandanna in Genma's direction. Surprised by this, Genma didn't move, and the bandanna-shuriken, a trick of Ryouga's I recognized, took off the front half of the automatic in Genma's hand, the pieces falling to the floor with a loud clatter.

The other bandanna suddenly took off towards Ranma, who managed to dodge in time. The cloth embedded itself in the floor between Ranma and the discarded pistol before going limp. Ukyo lunged at the gun, snatching it up while Genma stared stupidly at the grip in his hand and Ranma dodged a sudden barrage of the flying deadly cloths.

When Ryouga finally stopped, Ukyo held the weapon, Genma had his hands up, and Ranma was glaring at Ryouga from the corner he'd been backed into. Picking myself up off the floor (the only sensible place to be, it seemed) I dusted my hands off, then stepped over to Ukyo, Ryouga joining me, a bandanna spinning and ready.

"So, now what do you plan to do?" Genma asked, scowling at us. Once Ryouga had given him room, Ranma had leapt across the room, to stand beside his father.

"Well," I stalled, looking around at the blood, bullet holes, bandanna slashes, and other signs of fighting, "I suppose we ought to get going before the place falls down."

"And you think we're going to let you just waltz out of here after what you did!?" Ranma shouted.

"Hey! After everything _you two_ have pulled, you should be thankful we're being so generous!" Ryouga retorted, then turned to me, "Umm.. Why _are_ we being so generous?"

"Well, as much as everyone here needs a good ass kicking," I stated honestly, " I can't really find any benefit, other than a moment of gratification."

"That's good enough for me," Ryouga said, thoughtfully.

"Me too," Ukyo added, before lowering the weapon towards Genma's family heirlooms.

"But.. look at them!" I said, pointing to Genma, who was looking a lot more pale than before, then at Ranma, who was doing his best to heal his recent injuries.

"Look, maybe we can work something out," Genma said slowly, raising his arm. Ukyo fired, and a bullet tore a small smoking hole in the crotch of his pants before burying itself in the wooden floor.

"Jesus!" I shouted, my fear at the implication of a close range vacuum blade turning to fear and disgust at what Ukyo had just done.

"Oh, man..." Ryouga mumbled, reaching for his own crotch in sympathy before wrapping his arms around his middle instead. The spinning bandanna took off and became embedded in the far wall, utterly forgotten.

"Relax," Ukyo muttered, a moment before the front of Genma's pants turned yellow, the stain quickly spreading, "I aimed low."

"I thought you hated guns," I mumbled, while Ryouga shuddered.

Genma, pants soaked with urine, chose this moment to pass out.

"Under any other set of circumstances, I'd berate him.. but for this? I can't blame him," I said, wondering how to get the gun away from Ukyo. Ranma, the only opponent still standing, glanced at his fallen father, the unconscious Mr. Tendo, and then over at us, before silently stepping to the side.

"Glad you understand," Ukyo said, heading towards the door.

"You know they'll be out for revenge, don't you?" he asked as we made our way towards the side gate.

"What about you?" I asked, turning to look at him.

He smirked, "I can't call myself the best if you have a reason for saying you beat me."

"So this is all just a game to you?" Ukyo said, waving the weapon in his direction, which unfortunately left it pointing in my direction a couple times. When we got back to the restaurant, Ukyo and I were going to have a little talk about gun safety.

"As much as I appreciate your concern for my fiancée, I doubt what you did to her father, or her future father-in-law, is going to go over too well," Ranma said, nudging his fallen father with his toe to emphasize his point.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Ryouga asked, taking looking like he was about to walk over to the pigtailed youth and start another round of fighting.

"It means, Ryouga, that we'll all be fighting again soon enough," Ukyo said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Glancing at me, before handing over the pistol, she continued, somewhat less enthusiastically, "we've got a _lot_ of training to do."

"I look forward to it," Ranma said, not hearing Ukyo's second, quieter statement. The three of us made our way down the street towards the Ucchan's, utterly silent as we followed the canal away from the Tendo Dojo.

"So..." Ryouga said, as the familiar building came into sight, "did all that _really _just happen?"

I paused to look at him for a moment, then sighed, "that's a good question."

Ukyo, unlocking the door, turned to Ryouga a minute later, "Hey, Ryouga... what was that thing you were doing with those bandannas?"

"Throwing them? It's something I picked up on Hokkaido," he said, before stepping inside.

"Hokkaido?" I asked, following him in, "What were you doing there? I thought you didn't get lost."

Ryouga frowned, " I _don't _get lost. I was training there. What's with you and me getting lost?" He asked, frowning.

"Ahh.. like I said, I was just.. misinformed," I said, feeling somewhat sheepish for having made the same mistake twice.

"I suppose," he mumbled, then frowned again, turning back towards me, "and what was with that gun?"

"What? You mean you'd rather be tied up in a dark room with thugs punching you for answers to questions both of you know you don't know anything about?"

"Well, no... but I thought you were a martial artist!"

"I am! Didn't you see me kicking and punching and-" I was cut off as Ukyo's battle spatula lost all of its downward momentum by landing on my head.

"What Kyle means to say is that, yes, he is a martial artist, but with our past meetings with Nabiki and friends, we both decided a firearm might come in handy.

Climbing to my feet and wincing at the way my ears were ringing, I glanced at her, "you mean you approved?"

"No, I just didn't disapprove... which turned out to be advantageous, in the end."

"I was beginning to worry there, for a little bit," I said, grinning.

"You were worried! What the hell did you two get me involved in! I thought we were going to fight Ranma and Genma, not the Nerima Yakuza!" Ryouga shouted, near-hysterical.

"He's got a point," I said, looking at Ukyo.

"He's got a _problem_," Ukyo corrected, nodding.

"Well what are you going to do about it!" Ryouga said, not amused.

Ukyo and I glanced over at him, his backpack still leaning against the booth we'd talked at earlier, then towards the back door.

"Speed?" she asked, a moment later.

"Strength," I suggested, knowing that, if Ryouga's physique here was anything like before, he'd be well suited to power moves.

"You two don't really think I plan on sticking around after what just happened, do you?" Ryouga asked. We both turned to look at him.

"Well actually," Ukyo said, in a way that indicated she had, in fact, thought just that.

"Look, you two are pretty good, maybe as good as me, maybe better, but you're involved in something... what the hell is that?!" Ryouga said, his voice rising to a shout as he got to the sudden question.

Following his gaze, I saw a figure run by outside, followed a moment later by a shambling creature from the pits of Hell. Pulling out my new handgun and checking to make sure it still had some ammunition, I made my way towards the door, Ukyo right behind me, spatula at the ready.

"Rogue hellspawn. They get out from time to time," I replied, opening the door and taking aim in one fluid motion. It would have looked really nice, had Ukyo not shoved me out of the way so that she could get out the door as well.

My aim spoiled and my balance shot, I stumbled, making enough noise to attract the attention of another two hellspawn that were following the first one and its intended victim.

Ukyo wasted no time in jumping into the thick of things, while I quickly climbed back to my feet. Taking careful aim, I fired, catching the first one in the back, felling it with one shot, much like that officer had said guns would. Of course, since this particular hellspawn was still trying to capture the human it had been chasing, it wasn't really doing much dodging or evading.

Spinning around to assist Ukyo, I was caught off guard by abnormal number of the things in the area; seven or eight, at least. Not big numbers, but still.... "A barricade must have fallen," I shouted, taking aim and pulling the trigger, sending another hellspawn back to whatever pit it came from. Sadly, the next pull of the trigger did nothing; my magazine was spent.

"Now what's going on!?" Ryouga asked, dodging a swipe from one of the figures that had targeted him.

"Just fight, damn it!" Ukyo shouted in reply, swinging her spatula at an off-balanced creature, at succeeding in decapitating it. My analysis of Ukyo's fight, however, was cut short as a pair of the fiends came running at me. Backpedaling as I dropped the pistol and drew out my ever-present mini-spatulas, I dodged a pair of claws that would look more at home on a lion, before responding with a slash that would have severely disfigured a normal human being.

Unimpressed by the slash, the hellspawn again tried to slash me open from neck to navel, which I sidestepped at the last moment, driving the corner of my spatula into its side, this time. Before it could react, I yanked, and opened a rather nasty gash below its ribs that revealed an utterly empty abdominal cavity.

Well, not totally empty. The stench that wafted out of the black opening could have been a weapon itself, and I leapt back gagging, the odor horrible enough to make me physically ill.

A spinning bandanna whizzed past my head, burying itself in the neck of another hellspawn, which collapsed, but began crawling in Ukyo's direction, its head dangling by a thin piece of pseudo-flesh. Frowning, I threw one of the little spatulas, severing that, and ending that one hellspawn's existence.

Turning back to the one I'd managed to open, I frowned, then turned to Ryouga. "Looks like you've got to take their heads off," I called out to him.

"No shit," I heard him mumble, apparently too engaged to get more than that out. There was a rather odd swishing-slicing noise, and I turned to see another creature fall to Ukyo's spatula, this one split lengthwise, from head to crotch. The lack of blood was somewhat disconcerting, but better than if we were splashed by it, and I threw another spatula at a creature that was sneaking up behind Ukyo, a moment before jumping back as a new creature landed where I'd been standing, apparently jumping from a nearby roof.

"This is getting ridiculous," I mumbled, before shouting, "Ukyo!" When she turned to look at me, I threw her my second-to-last mini-spatula, then jumped in her direction.

"Like before, but with a twist," I said, when she jumped to meet me. We got back to back, but this time both used our dominant hands to launch a flurry of Amiguriken-speed punches, made utterly lethal by the sharp little cooking utensils in our hands. Unlike before, however, we slowly spun, moving towards any hellspawn in the immediate area and cutting them down.

After a good couple minutes, the barrage stopped, and Ukyo and I separated, my arm burning something fierce. Glancing over my shoulder at Ukyo, I saw that the flurry had taken quite a bit out of her as well.

From nearby, there was a shout, and I turned to see Ryouga finish the last moving hellspawn with a spinning bandanna still held in his hand, sort of like **nunchaku**.

"You two are pretty good at that," Ryouga said, approaching gingerly as he stepped over the limp hellspawn bodies that were visibly disintegrating.

"Thanks," I said, after a moment. Straightening up, I turned to look at Ukyo, who was regaining her breath as well. "We ought to work on that, some. See what we can come up with."

She merely nodded in reply, before turning to look at the figure the hellspawn had been chasing earlier. Walking over to the huddled form, Ukyo knelt down and put her hand on the person's shoulder, before telling her it was safe, now.

The last person I expected to see looking up at Ukyo was Kasumi Tendo.

"... Kasumi?" I said, while Ukyo gasped and took a step back. Up close she looked just as bad as she had from the doorway. Greasy, tangled hair, dirt and grime smeared across her face like war paint, and up close, her clothes where more stained than dirty, a myriad of well-worn patches visible only upon close inspection.

"Oh! I found you," She said, climbing to her feet. Glancing around Ukyo at the fallen hellspawn, she sighed, then turned back to look at us.

"I'm sorry I got you involved in that. I don't know where they came from, but thank you for rescuing me."

"If we'd known it was you-" Ukyo started, before I elbowed her lightly.

"Were you looking for us?" I asked, frowning.

"Yes, I..." She trailed off, blushing, and turned to look at her feet, obviously embarrassed.

"You...?" I prompted, after a moment of silence.

She suddenly looked up at me, determination in her eyes. "I wanted to thank your for trying to protect Nabiki. Even though your methods were a little... harsh," she abruptly stated.

"You came all this way to tell us that?" Ryouga asked.

"Yes. That, and to offer my services. I've already healed everyone back home as much as I could, so I thought I'd come see if I could help you all."

"How..." Ukyo started, obviously taken aback by this nice Tendo.

"-thoughtful," Ryouga finished after a moment's hesitation.

"Oh, it's nothing, really," Kasumi said, before glancing around.

When she did this again a moment later, I frowned, "something wrong?"

"No.. well.. maybe. Could we maybe go inside? If any of my father's workers saw us, I'm not sure how he'd take it," the eldest Tendo said, softly.

"No problem," Ukyo said, heading back towards the restaurant. When the four of us were safely seated back by the bar, away from the window, Kasumi began to relax, then looked at the three of us.

"You all did very well against my sister and the Saotomes."

"Well, it was a mix of luck and skill, really," I said, modestly.

"You know, not to be rude or anything, but when was the last time you had a bath?" Ukyo asked, suddenly. As curious as I might have been, that was a little blunt. Before I could correct her, however, Kasumi responded, stunning me into silence.

"I'm not allowed to take baths," Kasumi responded, looking at an ugly bruise on Ryouga's arm.

Unnoticed by her, Ukyo and I both shifted away from her, and Ryouga paled slightly, obviously wanting to do the same.

"Any particular reason why not?" I asked, slowly.

"I'm... well.. " she paused, wilting slightly as she apparently thought about what she was about to say, before whispering, "not worthy."

I blinked, "not worthy?" I asked.

"I'm not worth the hot water I'd dirty," Kasumi said, no longer whispering, but still speaking softly.

"So how do you.." Ukyo said, trailing off.

"Stay clean?" she finished, to which Ukyo nodded. She smiled softly, then, " I wash my clothes in the rain and take my time."

"Creative," Ryouga said, nodding.

"Thank you," Kasumi said, now working on a cut along the not-so-lost boy's calf.

"So, when you're done here, where do you intend to go?" Ukyo asked, pulling back her sleeve to expose her own bruised arms.

"Well, after I healed everyone, I was told to leave and not return until it was time to serve dinner," Kasumi said, thoughtfully.

"Err... would that be a reward or a punishment?" I asked as Kasumi healed Ukyo's bloodied knuckles.

"Oh, a reward. I'm usually not kicked out unless it's raining," she replied happily, moving to work on Ukyo's other arm.

"A reward," I deadpanned, earning a nod from the dirty girl. Ukyo, staring at her healed arm in wonder, spoke again, sounding somewhat distracted.

"What do you plan on doing after you leave here?"

"I was going to go to the park. It's been a while since I was there," Kasumi responded, smiling to herself as she did. Nobody spoke as Kasumi continued working on Ukyo, each of us apparently considering what we'd basically discovered about Kasumi Tendo.

Ukyo looked somewhat apologetic, probably for her outburst earlier, and whatever suspicion she'd housed before hearing Kasumi's few answers.

Ryouga looked sickened, His fists clenching and unclenching as he stared out the window towards the Tendo Dojo.

I stared at the dirtied daughter of Soun Tendo with a mixture of pity and rage. Unlike almost everything else, here was a slice of unadulterated Ranma; Kasumi Tendo, no less, and she was treated like a slave! By her own family!

There was a rumble from outside, and I glanced through the windows at the darkening sky, a summer shower apparently on the way. Turning back to Kasumi, who was looking at my forearms with almost motherly concern, I extended my arm to her, which she took before placing her hand over one of my bruises. As the thunder rattled the building, she smiled softly for a moment, before concentrating on healing my wounds.

It didn't hurt, nor did it feel particularly good. It was more like someone touched the skin without applying any pressure, and a moment later, you realized the dull ache of bruised flesh was gone. The sting of a couple minor open cuts also disappeared in a similar fashion, as Kasumi gently moved from wound to wound and healed each one.

When she was done, she stood up and bowed.

"I apologize for taking so long," she stated, her torso parallel to the floor.

"Umm..." Ukyo responded for all of us.

After a moment, Ryouga cleared his throat, " I... ahh.. don't think you have to do that," he said glancing at Ukyo then me as he said so.

"Err, yeah. Have a seat. Are you hungry?" I asked, then blinked. Ukyo, however, made her way over to the grill and started it up, preparing to cook something for the Ki medic.

"Oh.. I couldn't. I really must be going.. I've inconvenienced you enough as it is," she said, distressed.

"Kasumi," I said, loud enough to surprise myself. Ukyo and Ryouga both turned to stare at me, and I sighed, "have a seat."

When she started to sit down on the floor, I winced and pointed, "here, at the booth."

"But.. I'll get it dirty!" She objected.

"And I'll have to wipe it off, just like I do when anyone sits in a booth for dinner. It's cold on the floor, and, while I admit the floor is probably clean enough to eat off of, I'd feel pretty bad if you ate down there. I'm sure Ukyo and Ryouga feel the same way."

"But.. I'm not... I'm not even supposed to eat food unless it's left over!" she said, looking somewhat panicked. Ryouga visibly winced at that, and there was a clatter as Ukyo dropped a spatula. I blinked at that. Ukyo _never_ dropped a spatula while cooking.

Surprisingly, it was Ryouga who spoke next. Stepping over to her, he reached down for her arm, and smiled, "Kasumi, we'd be honored if you would join us for this meal."

"I.." she said, weakly, before nodding silently and taking Ryouga's hand. By the time she made her way over to the booth, she had a trail of tears cutting clean paths down her dirtied face. She was wringing the hem of her 'dress' in her hands nervously as she sat down at an unoccupied booth, and looked up in surprise when Ryouga sat beside her, and a moment later I took a seat across from her.

"What do you want on it?" Ukyo called over her shoulder.

"The usual for me," I replied, turning to Ryouga.

"Pork sausage and onions," he told her, before the two of us turned to Kasumi.

She stared back at us, apparently confused.

"What do you want on your okonomiyaki?" I asked.

"I.. I'm not.. why are you asking me?" she asked, confused.

I'd have rolled my eyes if the situation were anything but this one. Instead I explained, "It's your meal, Kasumi. And like the name implies, it's however you like it. So tell Ukyo what you want on top, and she'll make it for you."

"I don't know..." she said, still hesitant.

"What," Ryouga started, then frowned, "what kind of leftovers do you enjoy the most?" he asked, having to force the word 'leftovers' out. When he'd finished, he looked like something had left a bad taste in his mouth, and honestly, I couldn't blame him.

"I like everything my family lets me eat. But my favorite is beef... Though they rarely leave any for me to eat," Kasumi stated, matter-of-factly.

"Beef and extra beef, then?" I asked, looking at Ryouga.

Shrugging back at me, "green bell peppers?" he offered, which I agreed would taste good with the beef. We turned to Kasumi, who looked surprised, and I asked, "that sound okay to you?"

"I.. I guess so.. but I have no money! I can't pay!" she exclaimed suddenly.

"It's on me," I said, wondering if I could find a way to get Nabiki, Akane, or Ranma to pay for it. Ryouga, apparently psychic, muttered "through the nose," to which I nodded.

"But.. I... I guess so.." she finally acquiesced, sinking into the booth a little more and going back to wringing her dress. I quickly told Ukyo what the final verdict was, and she went to work finishing up the meal. Glancing at the two across from me, I slid from the booth, and grabbed four glasses, filling one with coke for myself, and another with water for Ukyo.

"What do you two want to drink?" I asked, holding up two empty glasses.

"Ice water for me," Ryouga replied. Kasumi looked stricken again and Ryouga turned, talking quietly to her for a moment, before turning back to me, "ice water for Kasumi, as well."

Wondering briefly if Kasumi was forced to drink from the faucet.. or worse, a toilet, at home, I filled the cups, quickly thinking about something else as I realized how likely the two possibilities were.

Setting the two waters down in front of them, I made way for Ukyo, who was approaching with four steaming plates and a smirk on her face. Outside, the rain started pouring, and I watched Kasumi's face get stricken-looking once again.

"The rain! I have to get out there before I miss it!" she said, before looking at Ryouga, and trying to decide the best way to get past him. Instead, he turned to her, then hesitantly glanced at us.

"Actually, Kasumi, I was thinking about that.. I doubt Kyle and Ukyo would mind if you used their shower... That way you'll have soap and I'm sure Ukyo has some shampoo you could use," he said, watching us. Ryouga was probably out-of-line offering someone the use of a shower that wasn't his to begin with... but, as stated, this was Kasumi, and a horribly mistreated Kasumi who deserved much more than just a shower and free hot meal. So instead of telling him to go jump in a lake, I responded with, "Ukyo has Shampoo, but Mousse is nowhere to be found. And I've got Cologne, though I don't really like it."

Ryouga stared at me for a moment, obviously not understanding, while Ukyo snickered into her drink, drawing a confused stare from both people on the far side of the table.

"What?" Ryouga finally asked, before taking a bite of his meal. The rest of us began digging in, Kasumi tentatively at first, and then with quite a lot of zeal.

"Don't worry about it. I'll explain later," I replied, after a bite.

"That was wonderful!" Kasumi said, after she'd finished her meal.

"I've hea.-" I paused for a moment, then began again, "I figured you'd probably be a pretty good cook yourself, Kasumi."

She smiled softly at that, before looking down at her plate, "I... Thank you for this meal," she said, formally. Ukyo, pointing at her nearly clean plate, asked, "want another?"

Kasumi jerked her head up to look at the chef, surprise clearly written on her face.

"You... you'd cook more?" she inquired when Ukyo asked what was wrong.

"Sure. You seem pretty hungry, and I'm fairly certain that if four okonomiyaki won't bankrupt us, five wont, either," Ukyo responded. Then she glanced at Kasumi's plate before amending, "or six, if you're really hungry."

Kasumi 'eep'-ed, then looked out the window, where the rain, no longer falling in sheets like it had a moment ago, was barely falling, sunlight choosing that moment to break through the cloud cover and strike the city of Tokyo from behind us.

"I..." Kasumi's obvious protest was cut off as a rainbow off in the distance virtually sprang into being, silencing her protests better than any of us could. After a moment in which all four of us stared at the peaceful skyline of Tokyo from a darkened restaurant interior, Ukyo slipped out of the booth to start another okonomiyaki for Kasumi.

Glancing over at her for a moment, I stacked the plates on the table, then stood up, "I'll go see that the bathroom is stocked for you after I get these washed," I said, reaching for the plates. Kasumi's hand holding the stack down surprised me.

"Wait," she said, looking fearful again.

I sighed," look, it's already done raining.. what would your family say if you _didn't _come home somewhat cleaner than when you left?"

Kasumi paused, apparently not having thought about it, that much, before shaking her head, "What will they say if I come home smelling of soap and shampoo?"

I paused, wondering just what they would say if Kasumi came home smelling like Shampoo, then shook the my head clear of lesbian thoughts, wondering how to address the issue.

Ryouga, once again, came to the rescue, "That's easy. Just say we threw soap at you while you were out."

"But.. that would be lying!" Kasumi protested. Ryouga and I sighed, and Ukyo called over, "what if we did throw soap at you?"

"What?" Kasumi asked, somewhat surprised. Instead of answering, Ukyo tossed the bottle of antibacterial hand soap we kept by the sink at the surprised girl, the bottle landing in her lap after arcing gracefully across the restaurant.

"Nice throw," I said, before holding my hand out to Kasumi, "can I see that for a second?"

Kasumi, still surprised by the toss, handed the bottle to me, and I gently slid it across the table toward her, where she snatched it before it could fall into her lap again.

"But-" she started. Ryouga held his hand out for the bottle, and Kasumi handed it to him, her mouth opening and closing silently, as he handed it back to her.

"There," Ryouga said, after she'd taken the bottle from him, "you've now had soap travel in your direction from the three of us."

I nodded, "'thrown' works well enough, since it was a rather pointless exercise, and as such, when you go home smelling like... well, clean, telling them we threw soap at you isn't a lie."

"But.. I" Kasumi said, still shocked. Ukyo set another steaming plate in front of the eldest Tendo, ending the ensuing protests, and I grabbed the soap and the plates, only to be stopped again by Kasumi.

"If," she said, suddenly sounding somewhat firm in her resolve, "you intend to pamper someone like me as much as you have, then at least let me wash these dishes."

"But..." I said, suddenly finding myself off balance. Shrugging, I objected, "you're our guest. It's the host's job to pamper and take care of the un-pleasantries."

"As your guest," Kasumi said, pulling the stack of plates towards her, "I respectfully request that you allow me the honor of washing the dishes, then."

Ukyo and I exchanged looks, while Ryouga apparently tried to hold back his laughter.

Finally, I nodded, "very well then."

"Thank you," Kasumi said, smiling and digging into her meal. Dismissing that oddness as best I could, I turned towards the back, dropping the soap off by the sink before heading upstairs to get the bathroom ready. Not that it was filthy, or anything, but I made sure everything was visible and available for her to see and use, and made sure there were some fresh towels for her once she got out.

Emerging downstairs, I found Ukyo clearing the grill, and Kasumi up to her elbows in dishwashing suds, while Ryouga sat at the bar writing a letter of some sort and occasionally glancing up at the two before writing some more.

"Bathroom's ready," I said, as Kasumi pulled the plug on the sink and let the water drain.

"Are you sure..." she asked, looking at the three of us with uncertainty. Ukyo gently took her arm and led her back towards the stairs without saying anything. Once they were gone, I made my way over to the bar and sat down a couple seats over from Ryouga, waiting for Ukyo to return.

After a minute, she did come back down, before giving me a thumbs-up and running out the door. Unsure what, exactly, that was about, I shrugged and cleaned off the booth, before finishing up with the grill. As I finished, Ukyo returned with a bag, darting back upstairs before I could ask anything.

The next time she returned, however, she stopped in the kitchen area, apparently done running around like a rabbit on speed. Glancing for a moment at the now-clean grill, she came over and sat beside me, glancing at Ryouga and his letter for a moment before looking back at the stairs.

"That girl..." she said, softly, trailing off into silence.

"Yeah," I muttered. Ryouga made a noise, but continued to write, before Ukyo turned to him.

"You know, offering her that shower when you don't live here was rather-"

"What!?" Ryouga shouted, cutting her off. Glancing back towards the door leading to the stairs for a second, he turned on us, my proximity to Ukyo including me as a recipient of his rather angry glare.

"You'd rather she go shower in the middle of a Tokyo thunderstorm?"

"No!" Ukyo responded, "I.. it was a good idea. I'm glad you thought of it when you did. I was just saying that you were being presumptuous, even if you were right."

"Well then, consider it payback for dragging me into this little turf war you all have going on."

"..." neither of us had anything to say about that, so, after a moment of silence, I changed the subject, "where'd you run off to so fast, Ukyo?"

Ukyo sighed, "that girls clothes are.. well... not good," she replied.

"Uh-huh.. I saw that.. you go buy her a new dress?" I asked, wondering what had been in the bag.

"No, I didn't have much time to browse, and I wasn't sure what she would have liked," Ukyo said.

"She probably wouldn't have accepted it anyway," Ryouga said, glancing up from his letter.

"What do you mean?" Ukyo responded, looking offended.

"I mean she'd not have been able to wear it home," Ryouga responded, looking at her oddly.

"If she went home with new clothes, her family might get suspicious," I said, nodded. Ryouga's logic made sense. I froze when I considered that. Ryouga? Logic? Apparently this Ryouga was a bit smarter than the old Ryouga.. I'd have to utterly re-evaluate him, or else I'd find myself low-balling, and possibly offending him.

"So what was in the bag?" Ryouga asked, as I contemplated his new and improved intellect.

Ukyo sighed, "If you must know-"

"I must!" I said, earning a dark glare, before she continued.

"-I got her a new set of undergarments."

"Anything fancy?" I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.

"Does it matter?" Ukyo asked.

I shrugged in response, then, deciding not to press my luck, turned to Ryouga, "so what do you think? Willing to join us and find out how much you can really learn?"

Ryouga and Ukyo looked at me, and I shrugged, "just.. you know.. picking up where we left off.."

"You know, I wonder if Kasumi could teach us..." Ukyo said, again glancing towards the back. I thought about that. While we would soon be capable of throwing around Ki blasts ourselves, it would also be nice to heal minor injuries in a couple minutes instead of days. Or major injuries, if Kasumi had managed to fix Nabiki.

"It's not really fair that people so evil could have something so," I said, frowning, "so... good."

"So would that make us the good guys?" Ukyo asked, smirking.

"with evil attacks," I amended, returning the smirk.

"Well," Ryouga said, interrupting our byplay, "I suppose I could stick around for a while... At least until The Saotome's have paid for all they've done." Ryouga then glanced towards the back, and frowned, "and the Tendos," he amended.

The restaurant was silent for a few minutes then, the only sound Ryouga's writing, before he finally stopped and placed the finished letter in an envelope, which then went into his backpack.

"So, where are you staying?" Ukyo asked him as he tied the backpack shut again.

"In the park, actually. When Kasumi gets done, I thought I'd walk with her there, actually," he replied.

"Probably a good idea, in case any more hellspawn are out," Ukyo said, glancing out the window where the sun was doing its best to dry up what had so recently fallen.

"If so, shouldn't we all go out?" I asked with a frown.

Before Ukyo could respond, however, Kasumi, apparently done with her shower, called down to us, "Excuse me... do you know where my... ... some of my clothes are missing..."

Ryouga and I both turned to Ukyo, who sighed and stood up, "Kasumi? It's Ukyo. Can I come up?"

"Of course! Please don't inconvenience yourselves on my behalf!" came her immediate reply. Ukyo sighed deeper this time, and made her way upstairs. There was a faint murmur of voices for a moment before, "I couldn't!" cane down the stairs, most likely Kasumi's reaction to Ukyo's purchase. After a bit more murmuring Ukyo returned, Kasumi following behind her, somewhat blushing.

"Wow," I said, actually looking at the girl. Kasumi had always been pretty, in a generic sort of anime-way. But now? Maybe it was my preference for brunettes, maybe it was the somewhat embarrassed look on her clean face... but she was, now that I truly saw her, quite a stunning young woman.

"Say hello to Cinderella," Ukyo mumbled, grinning. I wasn't sure, but I thought Kasumi had used a tiny bit of makeup, to great effect. Her once-greasy hair hung in well-combed strands that clung together as the water dried, and her red-rimmed eyes seemed to have a touch more life in them than before, as she stared at the three of us.

"Is there something on my face?" she asked after a moment, reaching up in case there was.

"Ahh.. no... we were just.. shocked," I covered, eloquently, before Elbowing Ryouga, who nodded in agreement.

"Oh... I'm sorry.. I know I'm not much to look at, but-"

"What!?" Ryouga said, echoing my own thoughts.

"I.. Everyone says... I'm helpless and hideous and... "she visibly stooped, as she said each insult that had been continually hurled at her, before finally whispering, "...and useless..."

before any of us could say anything, she straightened up, a bit of determination in her eyes, "But I know that I'm not totally useless. I can heal them, and teach them to heal themselves, right?" she said, more to herself than asking us.

"Umm..." Ukyo said, unsure of what to say.

"But that's stupid!" Ryouga said, making everyone jump with his sudden outburst. Before anyone could comment, however, he continued, "nobody's worthless. Or useless. And you're anything but hideous. I.. the nerve..." Ryouga growled, then turned on me, causing me to take a step back. He looked angry enough to attack anyone who made a sudden move.

"Kyle... sensei... I humbly request that you take me on as a student in the Gekirin Tatsu-ryuu."

"Umm.. sure... I think. Err.. Ukyo?" I asked, looking at the equally surprised chef. When I said her name, she started, then nodded quickly, "I've got no problem with it."

"Okay, then... welcome aboard, Ryouga," I said, nervously.

"Umm..." Kasumi said, lost. Ryouga turned to her, and then took her hand, earning a startled 'eep' from the owner of said hand.

"Kasumi, if it's not too much to ask, I'd..." Ryouga frowned, his anger giving way to apparent nervousness as sweat visibly broke out on his forehead suddenly.

"I... umm... would like... I'd... you-"

"Spit it out!" Ukyo commanded, lightly backhanding his shoulder.

"I'dlikeyouwalkwithyoutotheparkifit'snottoomuchtrouble!"

"What?"

Ukyo chuckled, before putting her hand ok Kasumi's shoulder, "what my unusually shy student is trying to say is that he'd like to accompany you to the park, an activity Kyle and I, as his new teachers, stand behind one-hundred percent."

I smirked, putting my hand on Kasumi's other shoulder, "Looks like you've got an admirer," I said, causing Kasumi to blush, and Ryouga to blush harder.

"I... but... what could anyone see in me?" Kasumi asked, looking close to tearing up again.

"Umm.. You're actually very pretty," I said, honestly.

"And very kind," Ukyo added, nodding.

"And you deserve to have a nice afternoon," I continued.

Kasumi turned to Ukyo when I stopped talking, but Ukyo merely smiled at her, before nodding towards Ryouga. Instead of answering, however, she sighed, "I... I'd love to, Ryouga... but I don't think father would approve if one of his workers saw us."

I winced. Hadn't thought of that. Ryouga looked crestfallen for a moment, before straightening up, "very well then. But someday, Kasumi, we'll take that walk," Ryouga said, releasing her hand.

"That's a promise," I said teasingly, before patting him on the back, which earned me a nervous glare.

"... and a date," Ukyo said, smirking as she patted Kasumi on the back. Kasumi, unlike Ryouga, paled slightly, but nodded, the idea apparently terrifying her. Ryouga blushed at Ukyo's remark, and I grinned, stepping back.

Kasumi glanced out the window, then at the prominent clock above the counter, before sighing.

"I should probably head back home. Mr. Saotome and father get upset if dinner is late," she said, softly. Ryouga stiffened, his scowl retuning, but he held it back after a moment, while Ukyo and I nodded sadly.

"Please feel free to stop by whenever you have some free time," Ukyo said, earnestly.

Kasumi frowned, "I wouldn't want to be a bother," she said, softly, staring at the floor, "I know I've inconvenienced you enough already."

"Feh," I replied, surprising her, before I continued, "Kasumi, consider yourself welcome here whenever you stop by. And if you need anything-"

"Anything," Ukyo added, for effect.

"-anything at all, feel free to stop by," I finished, smiling. When Kasumi turned to look at Ryouga, who hadn't spoken, he just shrugged and nodded.

"I... ...thank you." She said, bowing deeply at us.

Be safe, Kasumi," Ryouga said, as she silently made her way to the door. She nodded, not looking back, before slipping out the door and back towards the Tendo residence.

"Wow... that was..." Ukyo started, staring at the door.

"Cliché?" I said, referring to my final offer. Ukyo and Ryouga both nodded, then sighed.

"Still... I hope she keeps that in mind. Someone like her in a place like that..." I said, shuddering.

"I can't believe those people. She can heal wounds like that, and she's treated like a hated pet," Ryouga said, angrily.

"Damn!" Ukyo said, swinging her fist down into her palm as she remembered something, "we forgot to ask her to teach us."

"Well... there's always next time," I offered, glancing back at the door.

Ryouga just sighed, and turned towards us, "Lets get to training. Next time we fight those people, I want to let them feel just the tiniest bit of what Kasumi feels every day."

"Dirty?" I said, jokingly.

Both Ukyo and Ryouga knocked me down. Climbing back to my feet, I waved them off, "Sorry, I just... never mind."

After I'd regained my breath, I made my way out back, and took my usual place in the bottom of the crater we'd yet to fill in, and I began working on bringing out my battle aura, doing my best to push thoughts of Kasumi or anything else that had happened earlier from my mind.

As I sat there meditatively, I smirked to myself slightly as I realized Kasumi had managed to remove any aches and pains from the exertion of working out. I felt as refreshed as if I'd had a weeks rest, and judging from the sounds coming across the yard, Ryouga and Ukyo felt similarly.

Clearing my head of these thoughts, I quickly concentrated on what I wanted, and was rewarded with a rapid repeat of what happened before, resulting in my aura bursting fourth, which halted Ukyo and Ryouga's sparring match.

"Impressive, Kyle," Ukyo said, nodding. I grinned, and decided to try a few things while it was active. Making my way over to the training dummy as Ukyo commandeered the vacated crater, I concentrated, then began attacking, doing my best to hit hard and fast.

After a minute of this, I stopped, feeling only slightly winded, before suddenly launching into the Amiguriken at full force. After a couple seconds of repeated hammering, there was a crack, and suddenly the dummy fell back, the post it was made of snapping off around halfway. I stopped, glanced at my hands, and then chuckled, "oops."

"How..." Ryouga said, staring at the dummy and then at me. I shrugged, then stepped over towards him.

"Come at me," I said, smirking. Ryouga looked at me funny, then complied, though with obvious caution. Almost right away I noticed I was moving slightly faster, but not fast enough to avoid a rather sneaky elbow which was hidden by what looked like the preparations for a kick. When the blow landed, however, I didn't feel it as much as I should have. It still stung, and I was still left feeling short of breath, but not as badly as if I hadn't been glowing.

When I finally managed to get a solid hit in on Ryouga's Defenses, I was rewarded by his grunt of surprise as he slid back a good couple feet after catching my kick with a cross-armed block.

"Geeze," he said, rubbing his arm once I'd stepped out of my aggressive stance. I apologized, a moment before turning as a wave of something hit me, almost, but not quite like a blast of air. Ukyo, sitting in the crater, was glowing softly, as I knew I was, and apparently, when she'd started, a subtle wave of her aura had spread out from her, almost like an alert to those nearby that she'd powered up.

Concentrating on the memory of the sensation, it was more than just a wave, it was almost instantaneous. The wave-like feeling, I realized, was due to the fact that I felt it more intensely on the side of me that was facing her. Actually, thinking about it, I realized I could almost feel where she was, in relation to me. Could I later use that to find her whenever she powers up, and vice versa?

Shrugging it off as Ukyo joined Ryouga and I, we both quickly fell into our typical fighting stances before going at it.

Since Ukyo had trained me, we both knew each other pretty well, and as such, despite the increase in speed and power, we both still managed to block, dodge, or parry each others attacks.

After a few moments, however, I realized I was feeling abnormally winded, and my concentration and focus weren't quite as good as they had been.

"Hmm.." I said, during a pause in the match, "I think I'm running down my Ki," I said.

"Yeah, you started slowing down there, the last little bit," Ukyo said, nodding.

Closing my eyes and concentrating on releasing what little pent up energy I felt remained, there was an instant of almost-disorientation, and suddenly I felt normal.

Or as normal as someone who suddenly felt a sustained twenty minutes of all-out, full-speed sparring at enhanced levels could feel. I fell to the ground, managing to catch myself in a kneel before I kissed the dirt, gasping for air.

"Kyle!" Ukyo said, rushing to my side. Ryouga came over as well, and I waved them off, taking a couple deep breaths before feeling well enough to try talking.

"This... sucks," I wheezed out, earning a blank stare from my audience. Climbing shakily to my feet, I started walking slowly, to keep my blood flowing, and hopefully avoid any painful cramps.

When breathing was no longer a laborious activity, I turned to Ukyo, who was still glowing. "You'd probably be better off dropping that before you run low like I did... It's a nice high, but without a training buffer, the downer really sucks," I said, still feeling rather weak.

Ukyo concentrated, and let go, the glow disappearing moments before she fell to her knees, surprise and pain clearly visible on her suddenly-pale face. I tried to rush over to her, but as unsteady as I was, I only succeeded in falling on my face beside her. After the new pain from the fall began to fade did I roll over to look up at her, who was staring down at me.

"This sucks," she whispered. I nodded, then started laughing. It wasn't really all that funny, and it hurt my ribs, and everything else, but I couldn't help it. A moment later, Ukyo started as well, very quiet chuckles that shook her kneeling body with each breath. Finally, we stopped, and glanced back over at Ryouga, who was watching us from across the yard like we were unsafe to be close to.

Rolling over and shakily climbing to my feet, I made my way over to him, and began explaining how we'd done what we just did, and what he needed to do to achieve the same results himself.

"What? Loose all my strength after a few minutes of slightly increased strength and speed?" he asked, incredulously.

"That's only in the beginning. Herb warned us that something like this would happen," I responded, frowning slightly as I did so. He had warned us, but had left out any details... Had I known it would be this draining... well.. actually, had I known, I might not have tried it. So maybe his lack of detail made sense.

"And after?" He asked, not convinced.

"Hmm.. we'll have to see. But if Herb could physically toss Ukyo and I back just by expanding his battle aura for a moment, and throw balls of Ki without any apparent ill effect, I'm fairly certain you can imagine what the end result is," I said, crossing my arms.

"Well... when you put it that way... still.. I haven't met this Herb person, yet. Just you and Ukyo," Ryouga explained.

"Well we'll have to work on that.. but in the mean time, why don't you start working on this. It's not going to happen instantly, so you ought to start now. You've got a bit of catching up to do before you do what we just did.

"How long did it take you two?" Ryouga asked, frowning.

I opened my mouth to respond, then froze, realizing my answer wouldn't be relevant. "It's.. different for everyone," I said, wondering if Herb could get a ring for Ryouga, or if the bandanna-clad boy really even needed one. Shrugging it off for later, I pointed at the crater, where he stayed, concentrating, for the next hour or so while Ukyo and I regained our strength, went through a few less-intensive katas, and replaced the training dummy I'd broken.

When the three of us finally went inside, Ryouga quickly excused himself, and left, promising to return tomorrow, and Ukyo and I simply locked up before going to bed, too tired to do much else.

The next week or so went by relatively smoothly, Ukyo schooling in the mornings while I worked, Ryouga coming by in the evenings as we closed, and the three of us training extensively before heading off to bed.

It was a hot Saturday afternoon when the monotony ended. Glancing up from the grill, I paused as I realized who was standing in the doorway. Nabiki Tendo had come calling.

-------------------------------------

AN: Argh.. my notes got deleted! Once again, thanks to Parker, Nate, and Heather, who helped with the prereading, and to all my readers, who left a myriad of reviews, which made me happy. Thanks everyone. Hopefully this chapter will hold everyone over while I get lost in Doom 3 for a few days.


	4. Chapter 4

"Can I help you?" I asked the middle Tendo, who currently darkened the doorway. Her arm was slung, apparently healing from the father-inflicted gunshot wound, but other than that, she looked like her typical cocky self.

"Actually, I'm here to let your girlfriend know that Akane's fights are starting back up tomorrow... and Akane's been training with Ranma lately, so be warned," she stated, smirking.

I blinked, "and... you're telling us this because?"

"Well, I heard about how you tried to 'defend' me, and figured I owed you something for your brave-yet-stupid act..."

"And an end to the hostilities didn't cross your mind?" I asked, frowning.

"Of course not! What, with the rumors flying around right now, we have to crush, kill, and destroy you. What would everyone else think if a rebellion against us were to go unpunished?"

"Sounds like a political problem to me."

"So says the American."

"Actually, I think we've gotten it down to American-English speaking Joint-Japanese-Chinese citizen of Hispanic descent."

Nabiki stared at me for a moment, apparently unsure of a response for that, and I shrugged, continuing, "don't try thinking about it too hard. I don't want you to screw up your thoughts of vengeance and what-not."

"Touché."

"We've danced to that tune before, Nabiki. Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Not unless you're willing to offer a bit of intelligence yourself."

"Oh? Is there something I know that you'd like to know?" I inquired.

"Where'd you learn your Ki attacks?"

I rolled my eyes at her, "As if I'd tell you. School Secret, and all that. Anything reasonable you'd like to ask?"

She frowned, and for a moment, didn't say anything, before finally cocking her head to the side and asking quietly, "you aren't going to give this fight up, are you?"

"That sounded like something I'd expect Kasumi to ask... no. I'll give up once you and your thugs back down."

"You know my family too well, Kyle. I'll know why before you're crushed," she said, disappearing around the corner before I could respond to that.

"The nerve of that girl," someone said right behind me. Spinning, I realized Ukyo had somehow managed to sneak up on me, and I sighed, waiting for my heart to slow back down.

"She's... I dunno. The other Nabiki was like that, but it was like a front."

"Hmm.. and you could tell this by the Anime?"

"Well... no. I mean, she could, I suppose, have been just like this, and I'm applying warmth where there is none, but it just doesn't seem very.. right."

"Well, in that case, I'd say this Nabiki is the latter. Cold, no warmth, all that..."

I nodded absently, though in my head, I wasn't sure I agreed with her. Considering how messed up this universe had proven to be so far, a messed up Nabiki was par for course; Akane was certainly at the extreme end. But was Nabiki really?

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I turned to look at the back door, through which Ukyo had most likely come from her training of Ryouga.

"How's he doing?"

"Pretty good. Not much for speed, but he's got both of us outmatched for strength."

"Yeah," I nodded, "that sounds about right. Any luck with him and his Ki?"

"Without one of these rings Herb gave us? A little; better than you could do if you weren't so fortunately equipped. Probably me, too… However slow Ryouga might have been in that other world you described him in, he's a pretty quick study here. Might be better than me without the ring, too, but it's not all that important."

"For now. I think I'm beginning to see what you're talking about, with my Ki when I meditate, I mean," Ryouga called out, as he entered.

"Don't give me a reason to quote Obi-Wan any more than I have to. Though... I wonder if I could make a Ki-lightsaber.." I mumbled, wondering whether or not Herb could figure out how to do it if I mentioned Ryouko's blade from Tenchi Muyo.

"You want to do what now?" Ryouga asked, interrupting my thoughts. When Ukyo looked at me with curiosity as well, I shrugged, and waved it off.

"Err, nothing. Just an odd thought," I explained quickly. Then another thought struck me, "Ryouga... aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"I.. err..." he paused, apparently at a loss for words.

I shrugged, "I know school sucks. Trust me. I do. But you at least need a High School Education if you ever want to do more than flip burgers, wait tables, or sell stuff."

"... Don't you-"

"SILENCE!" I shouted, surprising him into, well... silence. After a moment, I grinned, "That's different. Not only do I do all that, Ukyo and I run a business successfully, while also doing our part for the community by driving off Hellspawn, and ensuring that the local Yakuza doesn't have the time to mess with the defenseless citizens."

"You do?"

"WE do," I said, putting my arm around his shoulder, and guiding him towards the door, "as such, I think it's about time for you to go on your first patrol."

"Patrol?"

"Yep. Check with the barricades along the Hellspawn infested war zone, and protect anyone who might need protecting."

"... wait a minute," he started, frowning.

Before he could finish, however, I nodded, "Yeah, bring me back more 9mm ammunition while you're out there. Okay? Thanks. Bye," And I shut the door.

"And you did that because?" Ukyo asked, finally speaking up. Turning to look at her, I saw the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth, and decided not to take the question all that seriously.

"I figured he needed a little something to do. After all, what's the worst that could happen?"

Ukyo's eyes widened at that, before she rolled them and stomped away, mumbling something about purposefully tempting fate. After disappearing upstairs for a moment, she quickly made her way outside dressed in her "battle outfit," though she flashed me a grin before disappearing out the door.

"And I thought restaurant work was boring..." I exclaimed, earning a smirk from a couple of the patrons seated nearby.

A couple hours later, Ukyo and Ryouga returned, both looking rather beat. The rips, tears, streaks of dirt, and sweat liberally coating their faces went a long way to describing their afternoon.

"Have fun?" I asked, earning a glare from the pair.

"As a matter of fact, the first Yakuza thug we intercepted was fun," Ukyo stated, before Ryouga continued: "the first broken barricade, however, wasn't."

"First?" I asked, surprised. Tempting fate wasn't that bad, usually.

"First. The second was a big pain, and after that, we failed to make an impression on that last Yakuza-guy," Ukyo replied, collapsing into a chair. The place was empty at the moment, despite the nice rush we'd had earlier, and I wondered if closing early would be an agreeable suggestion.

"Oh, Ryouga, did you-" I was cut off as something hit the ground hard outside. Turning towards the door, I saw a wooden crate, the letters "9mm" stenciled across the side, along with a multitude of warnings. Quirking a brow at the disheveled couple, Ukyo nodded at the box, before simply saying "courtesy of the JSDF."

"That... that solves that problem, then." I mumbled, not having expected that.

"Next time you tempt fate, you get to go on patrol by yourself," Ukyo said, as she crawled out of her chair and made her way towards the back.

"So, what'd you think?" I asked Ryouga, who was staring down at the floor between his knees.

"I think those hellspawn are a pain in the ass."

"You and me both. I don't like thinking about it, but we're probably going to have to do something about it sooner or later," I said, resting my head in my hands and sighing.

"You mean, like, going in there and stopping the problem at the source?" Ukyo asked.

"Yeah. I mean, we could ignore it, but it's not something that'll go away with time, I don't think."

Ukyo nodded, "they do tend to interfere with customers appetites when they shamble on by…"

I snorted at that, and glanced at the window, where the setting sun had turned the sky an orange that only the evening sky could hope to achieve.

"This weekend, then?" Ryouga asked, after a moment of silence. I glanced over at the crate of ammunition, the Battle Spatula leaning against the wall near the door, the Combat Umbrella by the backdoor, and the bandolier Ukyo was still wearing, and nodded slowly. "It's a plan."

"So now what?" Ukyo asked, from behind me. Startled, I almost dropped the spatula I'd been holding, but managed to grab it before it hit the ground. "Relax. You're not the one who has to face that deranged girl at school on Monday," Ukyo added, watching me.

"She's about as slow as she is strong. What do you have to worry about?" I asked.

"Aside from her fists? How about the fact that she'll probably heal whatever damage I do to her, where as one good hit from her and I'm down." Ukyo shot back.

I nodded, "Sucks. Want my gun?"

"NO!"

I chuckled, "well then, guess you'll have to blow her away with flour bombs and ki-blasts, then, huh?"

Ukyo nodded, and I put my hand on her shoulder, "Come on. Chipper up. After all we've been through together, I seriously doubt there's anything Akane could do that you won't be able to handle."

She smiled and nodded, before making her way over to the stove.

"Kyle!"

"Hmm?"

"You burned another one," she said, slinging the blackened okonomiyaki across the room at me. I barely got the spatula in my hand up in time, and instead of stopping it flat, it merely deflected the steaming projectile, which proceeded to land in the lap of one of our customers with a plop.

Unfortunately, it also sizzled a little, and by the time the poor guy was done hopping around and yelling, he had a rather painful looking blister on his thigh, and quite a few free meals coming his way. I wasn't quite sure whether he'd come to collect them personally, or send a friend. After he had left, I turned to Ukyo.

"You know-"

"Don't you DARE say it!"

"Say what? 'I told you so?'"

She glared and held up the spatula in her hand menacingly.

"What? I was merely seeking clarification!"

"Clarification my ass."

"You really want to see it clearly?" I asked, moving towards her with my hands out like I was going to pull her pants down. Not that I would, of course, but the threat was enough to get her worked up.

Before I realized what was happening, I was sailing out the door, which had thankfully been held open by an incoming customer. A surprised customer, to be sure, as one of the owners flew out the door. Sadly, I didn't have enough time to say 'hi' as I flew by.

A moment later I touched down, rolling as best I could to avoid a unsightly case of road rash, only to find myself looking up at Ryouga.

"Tease her again, huh?" He asked, offering me a hand up.

Taking the hand, I got back to my feet, and nodded, "Thanks. Yeah, she's a little tense. Hopefully she blew off a little steam with that blow."

"You could always try not getting her steamed in the first place," Ryouga said, as he eyed the doorway I'd so-recently departed.

"What, and miss out on all this fun? Trust me, when it stops stinging, I still get a laugh out of it," I sad, rubbing my shoulder theatrically. Glancing up at the darkening sky, I frowned, "Heading out?"

"Just an evening walk."

"After that patrol? You must be trying to work off steam, as well."

"Actually, I was going to head to the park, but I suppose you'd just tell me it's my duty-" He started, and I continued what he was obviously going to say.

"'-to protect the weak.' Actually, you can go on if you want, I'm going to grab a couple weapons and follow up on you and Ukyo's patrol."

"Oh? Don't want to be left out?"

"No, I just want to see if I can negotiate for more ammo," I said with a chuckle before ducking inside the shop. When I came back out a few moments later, Ryouga was still standing there.

"Not that I enjoy fighting for my life against a horde of demonic hellspawn, but you mind if I tag along?"

"Nope. Lets go... lead the way," I said, pointing at a wall. He just rolled his eyes at me, and took off towards what I assumed was the first barricade of his earlier patrol. It still felt weird trusting Ryouga to get from one place to the next, but so far, there'd been no problems.

"You enjoying what you've learned so far?" I asked conversationally. In the background, I heard the report of a machine gun in the distance, and the ear-splitting shriek of Hellspawn.

Ryouga shrugged, pausing for a moment as another hellspawn shrieked from closer by, before continuing, "It's challenging, to be sure… and certainly not what I learned going from dojo to dojo, but yes, it's been rather interesting."

I nodded at that, looking up at the sky, "interesting, but not entertaining, huh? I'll have to get myself some boulders…" I mused, grinning when I saw him shoot me a confused look out of the corner of my eye.

"How do you intend to take on the Hellspawn" my student asked, changing the subject.

"Well, with the help if the JDF, I suppose. You and Ukyo, too.. maybe we can schedule it around Herb's next visit, so he can help as well."

"Oh? When is he coming back?" Ryouga asked, almost anxiously.

"Why? You that interested in meeting him?" I queried, quirking a brow.

"Well.. yes, actually," he answered.

"I dunno when exactly. Maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe a year," I shrugged.

"Oh."

We walked in silence for a bit, before Ryouga said, softly, "Poor Kasumi."

I winced. An understatement on his part, to be sure. Even now, after everything had been said and done, I still felt bad, and nothing was even my fault. "We'll find a way to fix that, Ryouga," I said, and I meant it.

"When?" he asked, his voice still close to a whisper.

"Soon, Ryouga. We've already shown her something her life's been lacking for god-only-knows how long."

"But she's trapped! By those... those.. _people_," he snapped, with so much venom in his voice, he could have easily replaced 'people' with any number of less-than-kind words and not gotten the same level of hatred across.

"Those _people_, Ryouga, like it or not, are her family. Getting Kasumi Tendo away from her family is going to take time, and work, and patience."

"And luck," someone said, behind us. Ryouga and I spun around, only to spot a teenager around Ukyo's age just standing there.

"Who are you?" Ryouga asked, voicing my own thoughts.

"Nobody. Don't worry, I won't tell Nabiki your plan... you two are Ukyo's friends, right?" she asked, hesitantly.

I nodded.

"I... well.. we, my friends and I, we go to Furinkan High with Akane and Ukyo," she said, as if that explained everything.

"... and?" I prompted after a moment of silence.

"-and we don't agree with the fights, but we're glad someone is standing up to the Tendos."

"Oh... so, you're Ukyo's fans?" Ryouga asked.

The girl frowned, "We're happy to see someone standing up to the Tendos. Some of us have tried, and then Akane got to us."

"Got to you... you mean she attacked you?" Ryouga wondered, wide-eyed.

"Yes. She was good, too, making sure each sprain, fracture, or bruise look like we'd gotten them in some sort of accident."

"Wow. Who knew the freak had that much brain power," I mumbled, earning a snort of laughter from Ryouga, and a smirk from the girl. "So what's your name," I asked, louder.

"Sayuri," she said, and I blinked. The original Sayuri had been Akane's friend, along with Yuka.

"You're friends with Yuka, right?"

"You knew Yuka?" She responded, clearly surprised.

"Not... personally. But I heard about her in passing, once, I think... what do you mean 'knew?'" I asked, frowning. The sad look on her face told it all.

"Oh... I'm sorry, is she...?"

"No! No. Nothing like that... She just... well.." the girl paused, clearly saddened and probably unsure where to begin. I waited, and finally she started: "Yuka was the leader of our little anti-Tendo group. She was a lot more vocal than the rest of us about it, because she used to be friends with Akane until her boyfriend got on Nabiki's bad side."

"And Nabiki sent in Akane-" I stated, to which she nodded.

"Despite knowing he was Yuka's boyfriend, she hurt him, bad. Apparently the doctors assumed he fell from an open window, but we all knew... anyway, Yuka started our little group and for a while, we felt safe, you know? Safety in numbers, and all that."

"But..." Ryouga prompted.

"But somehow Nabiki found out about us. We came to school one morning, and Yuka and her boyfriend were missing. We suspected... well.. we went to Yuka's after school, hoping she was just out sick, you know? The flu or something.." I saw a tear tricking down her face, and winced, knowing she didn't like telling this story.

"You don't have to-" I started, but she cut me off.

"-No... no I want... I _need_ to. Especially to you two. You need to know... Yuka's mom answered the door in tears... she told us Yuka'd been in an accident, and was in the hospital. She'd been hit by a car while crossing the street, and the only witnesses said she ran out into the road without looking for traffic."

"But... you said she's-" Ryouga shouted.

"She's NOT dead. She's in a coma. The car... was never found. The driver got away. But the witness, the person who told the police what she'd seen..."

"It was Akane?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

Sayuri just nodded, before wiping her tears away, "I wasn't there.. but I just KNOW she pushed Yuka. Pushed her friend into oncoming traffic..."

Ryouga moved first, putting his arm around the distraught girl as she started quietly crying.

"And yet another excuse to raze the Tendo residence.," I mumbled, before moving towards them. After a minute of silent sobs, Sayuri straightened up, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes, before bowing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't.."

I cut her off, "Don't worry. We're not exactly happy with what you told us, but we're definitely not upset with you.'

"I know, but still," she tried. I shook my head.

"Trust me. Ryouga!"

"What?" he asked, frowning at me.

"Take Sayuri back to the store," I told him, before moving over to him and lowering my voice so only he could hear, "tell Ukyo Sayuri's story, tell her I said Dinner's on me... if she doesn't make the offer first herself, and offer the store as a meeting place for her group."

"... you expect me to remember all that?" Ryouga said, after a moment of thought.

"'Repeat story, free dinner, meetings at store,' easier?" I said, smacking him upside the head lightly.

"Ouch! Yes. Damnit. I was.. Never mind." he straightened up and moved back over to Sayuri, who was staring at us curiously.

"I'll go on to the few barricades, then head back. See you two later," I said, waving. They nodded, and I took off, jogging towards the next barricade.

------

By the end of the month, Ukyo and I were able to manifest our battle auras with relative ease, and Ryouga wasn't too far behind. Ukyo had yet to use the advantage against Akane and the crowd of boys at school, but I doubted she'd be able to keep the advantage a secret for long. It was apparent, however, that the continued assaults were helping her train up some. While I could still outdo her accuracy, her speed continued to stay slightly ahead of me, no matter how hard I practiced in my free time.

Sayuri, emboldened by our talk, had encouraged her small group of anti-Tendo friends to convene at our place, and we quickly learned that the rest of the group consisted of Hiroshi, a boy named Ishida, and another girl named May.

Ukyo was absently scrubbing the grill clean one Sunday afternoon when the door opened. We weren't exactly closed, but it was a pretty dead hour of the day, so we were naturally lightly populated.

"So this is the place, huh?" the new arrival asked. Recognizing the voice, I frowned for a moment before putting on a false smile and turning to look at him.

"Ranma Saotome, how nice of you to drop by. Welcome to our humble shop," I said. Ukyo turned her glare towards me for a moment, and I shrugged, as Ranma surveyed the place.

"Where's your little helper?" He asked after a moment.

"Ryouga?" I clarified, to which he nodded.

"He's out training. Why? You looking for a date?"

Ranma glared at me, and my smile shifted from fake to genuine.

"Cute, Kyle," A new voice intoned from the doorway. My smirk fizzled and died as I turned to look at Nabiki, who stood once again in the doorway.

"One day, Nabiki, I'm going to have to use that "never darken my doorway' line with you so you actually move more than three inches inside." As her eyes narrowed and she moved inside, I added, "Is there something I can do for you, Nabiki?"

"Well, yes, actually, there is. You remember our previous conversation, right?"

"You've come to collect?" Ukyo blurted out, obviously surprised at Nabiki's arrogance. Not that I blamed her, I was rather surprised, myself.

"Of course. I couldn't just send any goon with a gun in here. I'd be down another weapon, and then I'd have another batch of paperwork to fill out… And I hate needless paperwork."

"So instead you brought Ranma?"

Nabiki turned to me, "Yes. Worth his weight in platinum, when it comes to enforcing rules..."

I smirked, "I bet the collateral damage is much less than when you use your shaved gorilla."

Nabiki scowled, "Akane has her uses too.. and considering Ranma's presence, don't you think you should be a little nicer?"

"Last time, His father and Akane were at his side, and we ended up at a stalemate. A rather dangerous, teetering stalemate, to be sure, but there was no clear winner. And we all walked away. I don't see much chance of him having improved enough to handle the three of us."

"That's where you're wrong, sonny," someone said from behind me. Spinning, I felt the blood draining from my face as my eyes met those of Cologne, Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku Amazons."

"Elder Cologne," I muttered, flatly.

"My reputation precedes me!" She cackled, apparently not at all upset by my knowledge of her title or name.

"Something like that," I mumbled, before cocking an eyebrow at her, "tell me something, will you? Why are you called Amazons if you live in Asia? Are you an offshoot, or geographically confused, or temporally-displaced, or-"

Before I could continue listing off random, imaginative reasons for the name, she held her hand up to silence me, and when that failed, proceeded to smack me in the head with her walking stick faster than I could see. Not that I couldn't have blocked it, given some warning, I just... wasn't warned.

"We, the Amazons of the Valley, have existed for thousands of years. Where and why we are who we are is something I doubt you really care to hear, and I really don't feel like telling you."

"Because I'm a guy?" I asked with a smirk.

"No. Because you're annoying." She deadpanned.

I frowned.

"Cheer up, boy. I've been teaching Ranma here for the past few weeks, and I'm here to watch him put his newfound skills to the test against someone I was told could hold their own against him."

I blinked. "Me?"

"Actually, Elder, the last time there was a fight, Both Ukyo and Kyle there had to attack together to knock out Akane and Ranma," Nabiki interjected, earning her a glare from Ranma.

"I've learned since then. I can handle them myself," he spat, making Nabiki smirk.

"If that's the case, Son-in-Law, we'll just have to see what these two can do. With your new skills, I think Nabiki should do an adequate job in Akane's place," Cologne said, as if it made sense. It did, actually, in a weird Ranma-esque sort of way, but Nabiki and Ranma both seemed to feel otherwise.

"Me? Get help from her? She may be good in the-" He was cut off by a rather painful looking elbow jab in the ribs, before hastily continuing "... few fights she's gotten involved in, But these two are a little much for her.. I can handle myself."

"He's right. I'm more of a thinker than a fighter," Nabiki said, holding her hands up in protest.

"It wasn't an option, miss Tendo. If you intend to challenge Shampoo's claim to Ranma, Then you will fight at his side, or I'll call off our little truce and drag your fiancée back to China with Shampoo."

Nabiki scowled at the withered old lady, but nodded her assent, before stepping forward.

Before anything else could happen, I cleared my throat, "do you have any specific place and time you'd like to do this? We do happen to be inside a place of business, you know."

Cologne leveled her gaze at me for a moment before turning towards the door, "There's an empty lot nearby. And there's no time like the present."

Ukyo opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Cologne cut her off, "as far as I can tell, you two aren't exactly busy, so a little sparring match shouldn't hurt your finances too much."

"Only in Nerima can your fights include moves that shatter concrete and yet they're referred to as 'little sparring matches,'" I muttered. I heard Ukyo try to hold in a laugh, and Nabiki just frowned at me

"It's not like you're paying Daddy his protection fees," Nabiki sniped. I flicked her of quickly, while Cologne's back was turned, and she scowled, but didn't say anything.

"I guess we have little choice then,' I said with a sigh, before grabbing a pair of the smaller spatulas from the rack behind the counter. Ukyo, already equipped with her battle-spatula, took a moment to shut off the grill, while Ranma, Nabiki and Cologne watched. After a moment to make sure everything was in order, she nodded, "Lets get this over with."

We made our way through Nerima (avoiding the barricades, blockades, and war zones) until we came upon an abandoned lot that looked like it hadn't been touched since.. well.. the hellspawn had first appeared. It was obvious work in Nerima was low on most sensible people's priority list. Fortunately, this also meant most property value was at an all time low. Ukyo and I were beginning to eyeball some of the smaller abandoned houses, due to their proximity to the hellspawn, and the rampant crime taking place under the JSDF's noses.

Shaking my head clear of those thoughts, I leaned in towards Ukyo and quickly whispered to her, "Don't forget what I told you about those Amazonian moves.. don't let Ranma sucker you in no matter what he says. Keep your cool."

Ukyo nodded to me, and I glanced up at Cologne, who apparently was giving Ranma and Nabiki some last minute instructions of their own. When they had finished, we both moved a respective distance apart and bowed, though I could tell nobody did it to honor their opponents.

"This is not to be a fight to the death," Cologne called from the sidelines. Ranma shot her a glare, but after a momentary staring match, he turned away with a barely-repressed shudder.

"Begin!" She called, and I leapt forward.

To the casual observer, we would have been a rather noisy group of blurs, but the only observer was Cologne, who looked on in interest as we did our best to land each blow while avoiding theirs. Ukyo, to my surprise, opened with a wave of mini-spatulas that forced both Ranma and Nabiki back, while I leapt over the pair, in hopes of getting access to their relatively unguarded backsides. Turning my landing-crouch into a sweep, I caught Nabiki with enough force to spill her on her back, but Ranma nimbly leapt away towards Ukyo.

Nabiki jumped back to her feet, and glared at me, before reaching behind her, and pulling out a tonfa, the weapon upon which the PR-24 was based.

"Cool," I said, in slight admiration. While most police forces back in my time and place had wielded the Asp Expanding Batons, there was something about a side-handle baton that just looked more unsettling.

"I'm so glad you approve," she muttered, before striking out with it. I dodged back, but winced as she overextended and landed a hit on my lower arm.

"Taking risks so early?" I asked conversationally while I feinted with a backhand, then dropped into another sweep. I smirked as she hit the ground again, and paused, waiting for her to get back up once again.

Behind me, I heard Ukyo and Ranma going at it, and I grinned as I heard the thwack of a fist meeting the unyielding surface of her battle spatula.

"You think this is funny?" Nabiki asked, falling back into a deceptively relaxed-looking stance. I shrugged before charging, rearing back with my right hand in what looked like an extremely powerful punch, and I watched the corners of Nabiki's mouth twitch as she got ready to react to whatever real attack I'd throw. I'd caught Ryouga like this once before, and I hoped Nabiki would fall for it as well. She did not disappoint me.

Instead of breaking off the obvious attack, I continued, opening my hand at the last second and pushing back and up on Nabiki's chest, just below the neck. Any lower and it would have hit her sternum, any higher and I could have crushed her larynx… as it was, though, She went tumbling back as all my momentum was transferred to her upper body.

Watching her do her best to roll with the blow, I wondered if she was able to use her Ki to heal like Ranma and Akane had. When she finally got back to her feet, her hair somewhat disheveled and a slight cut on her check, she scowled at me, and tightened her grip on her baton.

"That was cheap. Under any other circumstances, I'd have enjoyed watching it," she said, before charging. I fell back with a smirk, but lost the grin immediately as she started landing glancing blows all over with the baton. Every time I blocked a punch, the damn thing would spin around and catch an arm or a leg with a dull thud, until I leapt clear with a growl.

"That's cute," I mumbled, rubbing my arm where she'd managed to catch me three times with her baton. My respect for her skills rose a notch as she held it defensively before her.

"I'm glad you think so, just don't let Ranma find out, he can get rather jealous," she said, before moving in again. Before she could close the distance, however, Ranma and Ukyo passed between us, and I had to duck as a "stray" fist passed through the space my head had been a moment ago. Deciding to retaliate in kind, I moved in and began a quick series of punches, forcing the smirking Ranma to suddenly dodge two assailants. Even better, Ukyo managed to catch on quickly, guiding him so that he stayed between Nabiki and I so she couldn't start back up her assault.

After a half minute of this, Ranma grunted as I landed a solid blow to his stomach, and he leapt clear of us, his sadistic smirk replaced with a frown. I couldn't help but grin when he absently rubbed his stomach where I'd landed my blow, and Ukyo, I could tell, was enjoying the change in attitude, as well.

"Enough playing around, I want to see you actually try, or all deals are off," Cologne called out, earner her another glare from Ranma.

"Well, looks like I'll have to try," He muttered as his gaze fell on me. "Nabiki!" He yelled over his shoulder, not taking his eyes off of me.

"Yeah," the Tendo daughter responded with a glare.

"Take care of my old pal Ukyo, here. I want to see what this guy can do."

I scowled, "I have a name, Saotome. Granted, you're probably too stupid to remember it…" I trailed off as his gaze turned back into an annoyed glare. Before I could say anything else, he came at me.

Unlike Nabiki, who'd been somewhat cautious, a little slow, and somewhat predictable, I found myself quickly on the defensive, doing my best to avoid the most powerful blows, while blocking or rolling with the ones that came to quickly to openly dodge. Unfortunately, I knew that dodging was a poor way to fight, as eventually he'd land something, so I began to think of a way to turn the situation around.

His next incoming punch, I collapse beneath it, my legs folding under my like I'd lost all motor control below the waist. Sitting down in the middle of a fight is a relatively bad Idea, but also so unexpected that I saw his eyes widen in surprise as his fist passed over my head. Catching his arm, I pulled down and back on it, sending him off balance, before driving my other fist into his stomach at full Amiguriken speed.

He Grunted at that, wobbling as I quickly shuffled out from under him, and then I moved in, beginning a high-speed punching attack that quickly broke through his defenses. He was faster than before, to be sure, but so was I. And I was also packing a lot more power in each punch, something he'd not experienced before. After a moment or two of this, I upped the speed to my current max, hoping to utterly overwhelm him.

His defenses crumbled, and I moved in for a quick K.O. when suddenly he tensed, and a Wave of Ki came out of him, raw and unfocused, knocking me back and sending me rolling.

Scrambling to my feet, Ranma came at me, his eyes full of anger, but before he could start up, there was a loud Clang, and he hit the ground, Ukyo standing behind him and staring at the dent in her spatula.

"…Thanks," I said, looking from him to her, and back again.

"Sonny, you and I have a lot to discuss," Cologne said from behind me, all mirth in her voice gone.

Rolling my eyes while my back was to her, I glanced around, "Where's Nabiki?"

Ukyo pointed to a pile of rubble off to the side of the lot, "Back there. I had hoped to even out the lump she made with Ranma, but it looks like I swung too hard. Oops."

I'm sure even Cologne could hear the lack of sincerity in her admission. I merely shrugged, not really all that surprised. I turned to Cologne and took a breath, then paused, unsure how to begin.

"Well… " I started, before pausing again. Damn, this was going to be tough. Glancing at Ukyo, who was watching us with her Spatula held at the ready, I sighed, and then shrugged. "What would you like to know?"

------

Yeah, imagine that, This has been sitting on my hard drive for almost a year, and I finally realized I didn't really need to add any more, the ending is fine as-is. But before you all hunt me down and attack me, it wasn't really totally like this... In all actuality, my odd ability to lose files forced me to write two chapter fours. After finding the "lost" one, and viewing both, I combined the two, fixed up some nigh-duplicate conversations, and... well... sorry it took so darn long.


	5. Chapter 5

"So, once more," I said conversationally as Cologne, Ukyo and I filed into our little shop, "what would you like to know?"

"Your rings, first; where did you get them?"

"Well, it's a funny story, that..." I started.

Nabiki- who had ducked in before I could shut the door- interrupted me; "What rings?"

Ukyo and I had been tempted to leave the two fighters, but Cologne, out of a pre-made arrangement (or so she had said) had woken Nabiki from her impromptu nap, before we had departed for our place at my request.

"The rings glowing with magic on their index fingers," Cologne said, glaring at the girl. "Why are you not tending to your fiancé?"

"I left him in the rubble. Hopefully he'll realize the cost of failure and strive to do better next time," Nabiki said icily. "Now, what rings?"

I waved my ring-adorned hand at her slowly, and for a moment, she stared at it intently, before her eyes widened in surprise, "impressive trick," she said, with obvious disdain.

"Don't be so sure to dismiss them," Cologne said, as she stared at the ring on Ukyo's hand for a moment more.

"We got them from a crackerjack box." I supplied; then winced as Cologne's staff impacted with my head again. I'd have to start anticipating that.

"I seriously doubt that. Care to try again?" Cologne asked.

"Why? What do we get out of this exchange?" Ukyo challenged, still somewhat worked up from the battle we'd just finished.

"How about your lives?" Cologne said, seriously.

"What!?" Ukyo and I yelled simultaneously.

"You two are both wearing items tainted by magic native to my homelands, and used suspiciously Amazonian techniques in your battle today... so it's not so big a leap to assume you're wearing stolen Amazon property, and using stolen Amazon techniques... both offenses punishable by death."

I scowled, "Well, when you put it like that..." Ukyo glanced at me, then at Nabiki, before shrugging. I nodded back, then turned to Cologne, "the rings were a gift from Lord Herb of the Musk Dynasty."

Cologne laughed at that, "child, the day the Musk Dynasty gives gifts to random Martial Artists is the day I'll renounce myself as an Amazon!"

I smirked at that, "Oh really?"

"Sonny, the three warring factions of Jusendo are exceedingly secular. Of the three, only we Amazons are willing to converse with outsiders such as you, and even then, we rarely do. I'm not so old as to be senile, so you're going to have to try much harder than that to come up with an excuse for your having those rings."

I shrugged, "It's true, old lady. I-" I sidestepped the swing of her staff as I continued, pointing to Nabiki, "think you should ask your associate here who helped Ukyo and I defeat her and Akane back before Ranma arrived."

Cologne turned to look at Nabiki with a frown, "Is this true, did they have help?"

Nabiki shrugged, "Some guy with pinkish hair who threw fireballs. Kyle here said he was a prince, but I didn't think too much of it."

Cologne wobbled on her staff for a moment, and I smirked, "Not only that, but Herb is the third leader of our new school of Martial Arts... Hey, Ukyo, didn't Herb say he met with Cologne here about a little problem he was having?"

Ukyo caught on, and smiled at Cologne, before responding, "oh, you mean the one that you helped him solve at no real cost?"

"Aside from his friendship, you mean?" I interjected, to which she nodded sagely.

"You... you have formed an alliance with the Musk Dynasty?" Cologne asked, obviously upset by this development.

"Sure. Herb was a pretty cool guy, once he got over the whole royalty thing." I supplied. Ukyo nodded, smirking as she watched the old lady brought down a peg or two.

"Child, if what you say is true... may I see your ring? I promise on my word as Amazon to return it to you, but your claim must be verified."

"What word as an Amazon? you renounced your Amazonian status a minute ago... or are you going senile after all?"

"That is not what I meant!" She said, suddenly glaring at me. A rumble of thunder in the distance punctuated her glare, and I wondered how she pulled that off.

"Tell that to the tape recorder we set up to trap Nabiki, here," Ukyo said, pointing at the middle Tendo before crossing her arms.

"But, I-" Cologne said, beginning to sweat.

I slipped the ring from my finger, "Cologne, Amazon or not, you may look at the ring, but only on your word that, for as long as you hold it, you're subservient to me and Ukyo alone."

Cologne reared back from where she had been reaching forward, as if the ring I was now holding out had turned into a live cobra, ready to strike. "Me? Subservient to a male?"

"For all of five seconds or however long it takes for you to examine it," I said, frowning.

She glared at me for a moment, before scowling and nodding once, "fine, give me that," she said, swiping the ring and hunching over to look at my. After a moment, she shakily held it out, looking away in apparent disgust. "It is as you say. Herb has personally sealed those rings with his blood. This changes things, Miss Tendo." Another rumble, this time closer, and I frowned as I realized it hadn't been quite like the thunder I was used to hearing. Had another barricade fallen?

"How so? They have a couple magic rings and a few tricks you didn't ex-"

"They're protected by a hostile nation that could threaten the borders of my homeland at any time!" Cologne hissed. Before she could continue however, the wall exploded.

"Great-Grandmother, how could you!?" a female voice shouted from within the dust cloud.

"My wall!" Ukyo shouted, to which I had to agree.

"Xian Pu?" Cologne asked, obviously as surprised as the rest of us.

"You is no longer Amazon! How is Shampoo to catch husband now?"

"What!?" Cologne asked, apparently shocked.

"Nabiki have recording device in shop. Hear whole conversation. Great Grandmother no longer Amazon!" The lavender-haired figure shouted, pointing at Cologne with a mixture of despair and disgust.

Cologne spun and pinned Nabiki in place with a glare that Ukyo and I both added to.

"Hey, it was precautionary. I told Shampoo to watch in case anything happened and we needed assistance," Nabiki offered, backing up while holding her hands up in a placating manner.

"Nabiki not get help from Shampoo; Shampoo only help husband if in trouble. Shampoo not even see fight since Great-Grandmother move fight away from cameras!" Shampoo said, petulantly.

I sighed, "Nabiki, Nabiki... You really know how to stir up a shitstorm, don't you?" I said, stepping forward.

"Stay back, Kyle. I've got bodyguards watching us whenever we're within 50 feet of each other!" She said, apparently thinking I had something more physical in mind.

"Yes, I'm sure your snipers can see just fine through the dust cloud your guest has managed to kick up. Give me your wallet," I said, holding my hand out.

"What? Again!?" She said, obviously upset.

"Yes... you seem to owe me for a wall," I replied wryly.

"Shampoo did that!"

Ukyo snorted. "Not without being warned by your spying equipment. Face it Tendo, this is entirely your fault."

I shot Ukyo a smile, as Nabiki grudgingly handed over her wallet (which I dutifully emptied) while Cologne and Shampoo spoke heatedly in Chinese. Finally, after Nabiki had tucked her lighter wallet back into the folds of her shirt (only she would buy a shoulder-holster for her wallet) Cologne turned to look at us with barely-restrained anger.

"Kyle, Ukyo, because of this confrontation, I may have just lost leadership of the Joketsuzoku Amazon Tribe, a position that's been in my family for over a thousand years. Shampoo here no longer acknowledges me as an Elder, and has already sent word back to the Council on what has transpired. There's a good chance that she, as my family, will be exiled if the Council holds me to my word."

"Wow. That sucks," I said, pointedly. Her glare went from anger to rage at that.

"If I lose my position, I will do everything in my power to see you two destitute and broken."

"Now that's something I can get behind," Nabiki said, smirking.

"Miss Tendo," the Matriarch said, rounding on the girl and letting loose with her battle aura, which glowed an unhealthy red, "Because of you, this confrontation took place. If my banishment comes to pass, you and your family's resources, as well as yourself and your family, will be at my disposal to deal with these two. If you so much as _think_ about resisting, I will dispose of you. **Permanently**."

Nabiki scowled, "Why won't you kill them?" She asked, pointing at Ukyo and me.

"Those two are under Herb's protection. As long as he lives, my people can ill afford the wrath brought down upon them if I were to act so rashly."

"But they're not your people anymore," Nabiki stated, a rather dumb move. Cologne blurred, and there was a wet CRACK, before Nabiki screamed and clutched an obviously broken arm. Considering it was the same arm that had been shot earlier, even I couldn't suppress a sympathetic wince.

"They will always be my people, fool. Over a hundred years of nurturing is impossible to let go of, no matter the cause." With that, the old lady hopped out of the store, Shampoo having disappeared earlier, after their brief conversation.

"You sure do have a way with people, Nabiki," Ukyo said, eyeballing the girl's broken arm with a frown.

"Shut up, shutup SHUTUP!" The Tendo raged. Glaring at Ukyo and me for a moment, she turned to walk out the door. "You two should have _never_ come here."

Thinking back over all the pain we'd probably directly caused her, as well as indirectly caused her, I sighed, turning to look at Ukyo while I compared the bitter young woman standing in the opening to the store with the somewhat-carefree teenager I'd read about in manga years ago.

"For what it's worth... I'm sorry it had to be this way," I said finally, as she disappeared outside.

When we were fairly sure everyone was gone who would have cared about what we might have had to say, Ukyo and I quickly went about looking for Nabiki's hidden microphones and cameras. After a few minutes, we discovered a bug under a booth, and a rather well-hidden camera outside, looking through the window where part of the sign kept the glare to a minimum.

"So," I said after we'd destroyed both, "you didn't say much during that whole... thing."

Ukyo shrugged. "You seemed to have it under control, for the most part. I didn't want to mess up your stride."

"... I suppose," I said, uncertainly... Ukyo sounded almost preoccupied. "Something on your mind?"

"Aside from the fact that we have a new enemy?" She deadpanned.

"Well... yeah..."

"No, not really. I'm just wondering if anything good will come of this."

"Hmm... probably not. How's our insurance policy look?" I asked, suddenly.

"What! Why?" Ukyo asked, looking at me worriedly.

"I'm thinking we should probably go on a training trip... Maybe bring Ryouga along, too..." I replied, thinking about possible locations to go to.

"You're worried Nabiki might burn the place down or something?"

"Or something. We're covered for fire, yeah, but what if Ranma blows it up, or Cologne karate-chops it down or something?"

"'Karate-chop?'" she repeated, looking somewhat annoyed that I'd use a term like that.

"You know what I mean," I responded, glancing out the hole in the wall and wondering how long it would take to repair.

"Well, Herb said we could visit him at his Citadel. You think we could go there?"

I thought about that for a moment. Of all the places to train, it would probably be the most rewarding. And we had been invited, which was definitely better than, say, living off the land in some untamed forest somewhere.

"Yeah, I'd say that's probably our best choice... maybe he'll have some new moves for us," I added with a grin. While Ukyo, Ryouga and I weren't totally proficient with everything we knew, there was room in our training schedules to add a little more.

"I hope so, I get the feeling those Amazon moves of yours aren't going to be effective much longer."

That was true, Ranma would be learning things like the Amiguriken and Hiryuu Shoten Ha soon enough if Cologne meant what she said by using the Tendo's resources. I winced then, as I considered some of their other resources.

"Akane," Ukyo said; her thoughts obviously on the same track as mine.

"The one with an anger management problem?" Ryouga asked, walking in the door and staring curiously at the hole in the wall. "Redecorating?" He queried after a moment.

I sighed, and waved my hand at the world outside the hole, "the Amazons are here. We've got... well... a bit of a problem, now."

Ukyo and I filled him in on the problem, and our plans for a training trip, and he nodded as we finished up, "I'll come along. I'd like to meet Herb, and training sounds like a good idea, if what you said about these Amazons is true."

"More than likely, it'll be worse, since there's not really anything holding Cologne back, except maybe the knowledge that if she goes too far, they might send more Amazons here to shut her up," I said, glancing at the sky outside.

"Wouldn't that be a good thing? We could show a couple moves, and use them to get her out of here," Ukyo supplied, hopefully.

"Yeah, I'd be willing to go through some of their weird training methods if it would get rid of an enemy for us," Ryouga added.

I winced, "problem is, they'd probably go after anyone who knows the techniques, too... and anyone who knows the training."

"Aren't we safe from Cologne's direct wrath because of our association with Herb?" Ryouga asked, looking confused.

There was a moment of silence as we considered it, before Ukyo groaned, glancing at me with tired eyes, "she can't attack us because she got herself into this position. But if the Amazons are as territorial and anal about their stuff as you say, then we'll have broken their laws..."

"... which are probably agreed upon with the Musk," I concluded. It was a good idea, but it was too big a risk to take.

"Still, you could ask Herb about it when we go visit him," Ryouga added. Ukyo and I nodded.

"So what about Akane?" He asked, after a moment of silence.

"Hmm? Oh, we don't know what, but we're afraid the old lady might be teaching her something."

Ryouga shuddered at that, and I couldn't really blame him. While Akane wasn't the most horrible person in the original manga, _here_ she was rather psychotic, and I worried about what kind of damage she could cause people who didn't have any training to whatever Cologne taught her.

Turning around and heading into the back, I called over my shoulder, "We'll have to keep an eye on them. See who Cologne teaches what to, so we're not surprised... plan accordingly."

"Kasumi?" I heard Ryouga say, as I considered changing into something less dusty. Touching a couple shallow cuts, and wiping some of the dust from my hair, I realized I'd probably be better off taking a shower, first.

"Kasumi's not exactly the Harriet I was thin... oh." I said, spotting the eldest Tendo in the opening, looking somewhat worriedly at the hole in the wall.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, after walking around the hole, and in through the door.

"We're fine," Ukyo said, to which I nodded. "Yourself?" The chef asked back.

"Oh, I'm okay. Father sent me out to do some shopping, and since I was in the area, I thought I'd stop by... I'm not intruding am I?" She started to move towards the door after saying that, and Ryouga moved to intercept her.

"Kasumi, you could never intrude; you're always welcome here," he said, and I wondered again why he got ownership of the restaurant while she was here. Again, though, I realized he was only saying what Ukyo and I were thinking, so it's not like we would (or could) complain.

"Ryouga's right. Whenever you get a chance, come on by," Ukyo added, making her way to the grill.

"Lets see, last time it was an Ice Water and a double-beef and green pepper Okonomiyaki, right?" Ryouga asked, surprising Kasumi.

"I... yes, but I couldn't possible take more from you all."

"It's freely offered," I said dismissively as I got her a drink. I was impressed, it'd been a few weeks, and Ryouga remembered her order perfectly. Then again, the whole encounter had been somewhat memorable, as well as infuriating.

"I... well... if you say so," she said, fidgeting with the hem of her dress nervously. Setting the glass down before her, I smiled, and nodded, "we don't just say so, we insist!"

Catching myself before I started humming "Be our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast, I got her glass of water, and waited to deliver the Okonomiyaki Ukyo was preparing after wiping the dust and debris off the grill.

Sitting down at the counter, I spoke loud enough for both Ukyo and Ryouga (and Kasumi) to hear. "We've got quite a few plans on our plate; a trip to the Musk Citadel, a plan to put an end to this hellspawn problem, and the possibility of coming under attack at anytime by the local mob."

"Oh my, that sounds awfully busy," Kasumi stated. The three of us nodded, before she perked up. "Would... would my healing come in handy for any of that?" Halfway through speaking, she'd started to collapse in on herself, as if afraid for speaking out.

Ryouga, sitting across from her, took her hands in his and spoke softly to her. "I think that's a wonderful idea. We'd be honored to have your help."

"So long as it won't get you into trouble," I amended, to which Ryouga nodded.

"Actually, Kasumi, we were wondering if you could maybe show us how to do that healing thing. That way you wouldn't have to risk yourself every time you snuck over here to help," Ukyo said from the grill, a moment before she handed me a steaming plate of food for the Tendo.

Taking the plate and putting it in front of her, I smiled at her look of surprise, before sitting back in the stool while Ukyo cleaned the grill.

"I don't know what my family would do if they knew those techniques had been shared. They're family secrets..." Kasumi stated softly.

"We understand," I replied, nodding. "We have a friend who might be able to figure out a way to do it himself, and teach us, we just wanted to... err... run it by you."

Kasumi glanced at me, then at Ukyo. "You mean that prince both Akane and Nabiki were complaining about a few months ago?"

"Indeed," I said, grinning.

"So we go see him before we tackle the demons," Ukyo stated.

"I think that makes the most sense. Ryouga? Sound good to you?"

"I guess so. You two are the masters. I'm just the student."

"We're rather... unorthodox. And I'm not quite conceited enough to go around making decisions for others..." I said. Then I frowned. "At least, not usually."

Ukyo smirked at my apparent hesitation. "We have to maintain flexibility. Our biggest opponent is fairly versatile, so we have to be just as quick to adapt."

"If..." Kasumi started, before looking at the floor, and continuing in a voice barely above a whisper. "If you do fight with my family, I... please don't... don't do it to hurt them."

I heard Ukyo sigh, and I couldn't help but feel the pressure the eldest Tendo's request put on us, as well.

"Kasumi, we can't promise what we do won't hurt... but we'll try to use some restraint. We like to think of ourselves as the good guys, here, and we try to stay on the right side of neutrality." Ukyo's response got a nod out of Ryouga and I, and Kasumi seemed to accept it at face value.

Of course, this meant I couldn't gather Ukyo and Ryouga up again and march over there to knock out some teeth, but considering the way the Tendos were beginning to stack the deck, I'd have to start thinking ahead for the next meeting.

After finishing her meal, and talking quietly with Ryouga about the weather and Nerima in general, Kasumi departed for home, and Ryouga wandered off, apparently with quite a bit on his mind.

There was a subdued atmosphere in the restaurant that evening, and the next day, we did our best to serve customers while a local construction company repaired the hole in the wall. The noise kept our customer load down, but we were still popular enough to break even.

"So, what all will we need for this trip?" Ukyo asked, that night, as we prepared to close down for the night.

I set the chair in my hand back down, before shrugging. "Some camping supplies, a couple changes of clothes, and I suppose a gift for Herb... why?"

"Just... planning, I suppose. Should we call ahead? Or wait for him to call to set a time?"

I smiled. "He never really said to ask when he invited us; isn't that an open invitation?"

Ukyo rolled her eyes and glanced at the phone. "Would be nice if we could reach him. Tomorrow, I'll leave school early and grab everything we'll need."

Looking around the dining room, I winced. "I'll go over our insurance... If they do anything..." I sighed. "I Don't know how many insurance companies there are in the area, but I doubt we'll be able to maintain coverage if we're constantly having to rebuild or replace stolen goods."

Ukyo shook her head. "It's kind of crazy, what we have to put up with... but we are making a killing here. Are there any other surprises I should know about?"

I rolled my eyes as I started flipping more chairs up. "I think I lost count. From Taro and Rouge to Ryu and Nodoka, there's plenty of people unaccounted for... and god only knows if they're anything like I recall. And I'm fairly certain I've forgotten some of the minor ones."

"Well, if you can't list them all, who are the big ones?"

Pausing again, I frowned in thought. "From what we know? The Amazons are the biggest threat, currently. If they exist, and are antagonistic, the Phoenix People of Jusendo are probably the biggest threat. We could probably ask Herb about it, since they're from the same area."

As I started mopping, I shot her a quick smile, "Don't worry too much about it. Considering how different things are, Taro is probably cursed like Ryouga was, and Saffron is a staunch isolationist and socialist."

Ukyo frowned at me as she put the grill-cleaning supplies away. "Somehow, that just doesn't instill confidence."

A couple days later Herb called again, and we quickly agreed in a visit to his citadel the beginning of next month. Being only a week and a half away, there was little left to do to prepare, and Ryouga, with his pack, had been ready since arriving.

Ryouga was repeating our proposed traveling plans while checking his pack. "So... we're taking a chartered boat to Hong Kong," which was still under British rule, I remembered with a smirk, "then a tour bus to the Qinghai Province, and from there, we'll what? Walk?"

I shrugged, looking at the map of China he'd just purchased and realizing that the province was very big. "Herb said he'd have people on the lookout for us. I'm sure if we ask around, we'll be given a ride."

"And if we aren't?" Ukyo asked, frowning.

Picking up the diving weights sitting beside my backpack, I smirked. "Then I intend to work on my strength and endurance."

Ukyo nodded her approval, but Ryouga scoffed. "Diving weights?"

I frowned at his obvious derision. "What's wrong with using diving weights?" I asked, feeling defensive. They were the best I could find in short notice for a low price.

"Nothing... if you want bruises on your feet and open blisters around your ankles," he replied, flippantly. Before I could rebuke his claim, he dug something out of his bag and tossed it at me. Correction: them; a pair of open-air shoes that hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Picking them up with a grunt of surprise at their weight, I looked at the shoes he was wearing with new found appreciation. "No wonder you have laces halfway up your legs," I said, wondering where you would go to buy such ridiculously heavy shoes.

Ryouga grinned. "I may not have had much formal training, but I picked up on the most effective methods. Before we go, I'll get Ukyo a pair. When we arrive in China, I suppose I'll get to be the teacher, and show you two how to avoid losing these in the mud, or wearing yourselves out too quickly."

"If you're going to have us walk through the mud, you might want to show us how not to lose ourselves," Ukyo said, wryly.

"Alright, so, trip in a week and a half, hellspawn.. this weekend? Shouldn't we prepare more?" Ryouga asked.

"What's to prepare? We go in, we kill them, we find the source, and we stop it," I replied.

"Well, sounds easy enough. You know how this portal is supposed to be closed?" Ukyo asked.

"No. Why would I?" Ukyo and Ryouga just stared at me. "What?"

"Okay, maybe I'm missing something here, but you don't really think this portal thing is going to be like some floating door we can slam shut, turn the lock on, and call it finished, do you?" Ukyo asked with a scowl.

"I thought you knew from.. whatever... that other world!" Ryouga said, after burying his face in the palm of his hand.

"Nooo.... Look, it was Kuno and Goz. Those two _combined _still lacked more than half a brain. This universe is different, but those two are, like, universal constants." I justified.

"Why does that not instill me with confidence?" Ryouga mumbled.

"Don't worry Ryouga, you're not the only one." Ukyo shot back, still glaring at me.

I shrugged. "Alright, I suppose we could wait.. but I was thinking; maybe if we clear up this hellspawn problem, the JSDF will keep an eye out on the place while they start clearing out the zone and preparing it for rebuilding."

"Oh... wow, that does kind of make sense," Ukyo said, nodding.

"Aside from the whole lack of a plan to close the portal part," Ryouga groused.

"Details details. Why don't you make yourself useful and ask a few priests and other wise, spiritual elderly-types what they'd suggest we do," I ordered. Ryouga looked at me, then glanced out the window. "I suppose.. what are you going to do?"

"Me? I'm going to talk to the JSDF and see if I can bargain for a grenade or twenty."

"What?!" they both shouted/asked.

"Well, come on. It's a magical portal to an alternate realm of horrors and torment. Portals don't seem to do explosions that well. And not like the other side has anything we're anxious to keep pristine and puncture-free."

The two of them stared at me, and I sighed. "You two realize that I would, if I thought it had a snowballs chance in hell of working, ask for a small nuke instead, right?" They both drew back at that, and I shrugged. "Don't act so shocked. I'm a firm believed in solving your own problems. At the same time, I also believe the old adage about problems and properly applied explosives."

Muttering under his breath, Ryouga walked out the door, and I looked at Ukyo, waiting for her to say something. Finally, she shook her head, as if coming out of a daze, and shrugged. "You know, I should probably be used to you by now, but every time I think I am, you just go and surprise me a little more."

I blinked at that. "... If I said I were sorry, would there be any chance that you'd believe me?"

"Not hardly," she replied with a smile. "Help me get the tarp to cover that hole, then we've got some training to do."

The rest of the week passed quickly, work and training (and paranoia) occupying most of our waking hours. At least all the stress, both physical and mental, made sleep come easily. So it was a rather well rested-trio of fighters standing by one of the JSDF blockades on a dreary Saturday morning. Low-hanging clouds and ominous rumbles of thunder echoing off the building walls around us sounded like distant artillery, and with the sky threatening to open up on us at any moment, I couldn't help but wonder what other problems we'd be facing before the day was through.

"So you're saying you intend to go in there and stop this thing," the Captain at the blockade said after we'd told him our intentions.

At our nodding, he just shook his head sadly. "Look, the guys here know you all. You've helped a good half-dozen or so times when this barricade alone fell, and the other barricades all report similar stories. But if you go in there... you're not coming back out."

"You don't really think you can stop us from entering, though... or do you have orders to?" I asked, looking at the high concrete wall that helped keep hellspawn in. I might be able to jump it if I started from the building across the street, but It would be a lot easier to walk in.

"I can't be help responsible for anyone who enters the zone, and I've been told repeatedly to do everything I can to keep people out. But if you really want in, I can't stop you... what's that?"

Behind me, I heard the sound of a Helicopter. Actually, it sounded like a couple, and it was getting closer.

"What the hell?" the Captain asked, pushing me aside to step behind me. Turning around, I looked around for whatever had unnerved the man, but only managed to spot it when I looked up. Overhead, high above, but dropping rapidly, was a tank; a large main battle tank, being lowered into the hellspawn infested zone by a giant helicopter sporting three sets of rotors.

"Never seen a carrier like that before," I said, frowning.

"The CH-99?" the Captain asked. I shrugged, and he just shook his head. "It's American... and that's an Abrams tank... looks like the Yanks are trying their hand at resolving the issue."

I couldn't help but wince at the 'yanks.' "Yeah... I wonder if the crew is already inside?"

"Hmph. I told my Commander a few times to send in a Type 90, but no... looks like you might want to postpone your trip, kids... at least until we see how this changes things.

There was a muffled whump as the Helicopter dropped the tank the final foot to the ground and it took off into the sky, moments before a Humvee flying the American flag rounded a corner and approached the barricade.

"And here's the crew," the captain mumbled.

After telling us to sit tight, the captain left to go chat with the occupants of the Humvee, and I turned to Ukyo and Ryouga, who were still looking at the wall the tank had disappeared behind earlier with some degree of anger. "So... want to wait it out and see how this evolves?"

"Not particularly. I have a bad feeling there is more to this than just an attempt to close the portal," Ukyo replied.

"Your explosion idea has some merit, according to a couple of the elders I spoke to, but most agreed that it would take a spell or mystical forces to close whatever portal we'd find in there," Ryouga offered.

"So... you don't think they're going to have much luck?" I asked, finally.

"They might. But if they don't they'll be ill-equipped to deal with it... and I get the feeling they're not quite as capable as we are of applying mystical forces to the portal.

I couldn't help it; "... Um... not to be a spoil-sport, but exactly what mystical forces are we bringing to the table, exactly? Or do you practice magic in your spare time, and just forgot to tell us?"

Ryouga scowled at me, then pointed. "You two can project your Ki, can't you? I'd call that pretty mystical. Life energy has a habit of destabilizing magical energy, and vice versa. That's what some old woman told me at a shrine downtown, and everyone I asked after that agreed."

"So.. we're going to go... blast it?" I deadpanned.

Ryouga nodded. "Wasn't that the plan?"

"Well... Grenades, Ki... in the end, I get to prove a point with explosions, right?" I asked rhetorically. As they rolled their eyes, I grinned and shrugged. "Allrighty, I suppose we should find a roof we can hop to to clear that fence."

"Awww, don't tell me you kinds are still planning on going in there!" The Captain groaned, coming back from the Humvee, which was now entering the zone.

"Well, we hate to say it, but those guys are probably ill-equipped to deal with the actual portal," Ryouga said.

"Tell me about it. Half of them are scientists. USAMRIID, CDC, and FBI, with a couple chaperones. They're here to assess the subhuman threat and apply a solution if one is visible. That tank they dropped in is to protect them as they gather samples." There was an exceedingly thick layer of disgust in his voice as he said that, and I sighed.

"Let me guess; closing the portal isn't a priority."

"Yeah... Though I might have told them to head to the Kuno Estate when they asked where the best concentration of hostile subhumans within the zone," he added with a smile.

I nodded. "It's likely they'd be thickest there. Tell you what, you've had enough traffic through this barricade for one day..."

"You kids are going home?" He asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"Not hardly, we'll circle around to the other side of the zone and head in from there. By then, that tank should have drawn most of the hellspawn away, leaving us a clearer path to our target." I explained.

The Captain winced. "Effective, if somewhat cold. I warned them, though... they have to know what they're going in to... I Suppose there's no real chance I can dissuade you all... I suppose the best I can do is wish you the best of luck... and pray you don't get eaten."

I frowned. "We could have done without that, but thanks. We'll be back when the problem is solved."

The Captain just nodded as he made his way back to the command tent. About halfway there, the rain started.

I turned to Ukyo and Ryouga, who were both under Ryouga's impressively large bamboo umbrella. "So, lets head to the other side of town and finish this." They both nodded their agreement, before we turned and headed south along the wall surrounding our destination.

* * *

AN: Well, Another chapter. Next up, we solve the hellspawn problem. Or do we? Guess you'll have to wait and see!

Oh, and the Americans are not The Initiative or anything like that. As I was planning that part, and writing it out today, I realized it might seem like I was heading there... if not now, than in the future. So I wanted to state, here and now, that this isn't some future BtVS x-over.


End file.
